REVIEW: Limited Edition Nissin Everything Bagel Cup Noodles

Everything bagels are my second favorite bagel flavor, so of course, I fell in love with Trader Joe’s Everything But The Bagel Seasoning and still use it almost daily. Since 2017, Everything seasoning has been a popular food trend and, as with most food trends, companies have tried to find ways to work it into their products. For 2024, Nissin Cup Noodles released a limited edition Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese flavored ramen as a follow-up to last year’s Breakfast ramen.

Announced as a limited edition flavor, it incorporates the spices (onion, garlic, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, caraway seeds) plus cream cheese flavor. Including caraway seeds gave me pause as they’re not commonly found in most Everything-seasoned items. I associate them more with rye bread, but I was curious to see how they would impact the overall flavor of the item.

After opening it, I went to fill it and encountered a unique issue: the noodles and powder had become a brick that the water couldn’t penetrate. A few (gentle) stabs to the noodles broke them up enough to let me fill the cup to the proper water level. After four minutes of cooking and one minute of standing, it was ready to be eaten.

Mixing it, the smell of “everything seasoning” was present but not overwhelming, and the sauce was smooth. It was still rather hot, but I didn’t want to wait too much longer, as I worried the seasoning would become soggy. My first few bites were surprisingly good. The seasoning still had a bit of crunch, the sauce was creamy, and the overall flavor was balanced.

The caraway was the strongest and the first ingredient I noticed. The mild anise (licorice) flavor stood out initially, but then the other Everything elements came through (garlic, onion, poppy seeds, sesame seeds) to mellow the initial taste. The sauce had no familiar cream cheese flavor, but that didn’t negatively impact the overall taste. The sauce’s creaminess sold the idea of “cream cheese” enough for me.

Everything seasoning has been the darling of the food trend world for a while now. Unfortunately, it has sort of gone the path of bacon and been more gimmick than gourmet. Thankfully, this item actually delivers a delicious interpretation of an Everything seasoned bagel. It won’t replace my usual morning breakfast, but I’ll keep a few cups around when I want to shake it up.

Purchased Price: $1.18
Size: 2.96 oz
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 container) 390 calories, 15 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, <5 milligrams of cholesterol, 1150 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 9 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Lavender Creme Frappuccino

Starbucks’ extensive spring 2024 menu seems to have limited edition beverages for any craving, and if you’re in the market for something frozen, sweet, and extremely floral, the Lavender Crème Frappuccino is the one for you. (It is, however, not the one for you if you’re hoping for some caffeinated pep in your step; the “Crème” designation on a Frappuccino specifically means that it contains no caffeine, as opposed to the java-jammed “Coffee Frappuccinos.”)

Some seasonal menus leave you scratching your head about why anyone would associate that particular flavor with that particular time of year, but that was definitely not the case here. This frap screams “spring” so loudly that I could practically hear birds sing as I picked mine up off the counter! It was as sweet as you’d expect from a drink made primarily of milk, flavored syrup, and whipped cream, but its floweriness was even more noticeable.

If you’ve ever loved the smell of a candle so much that you wished you could eat it, this will be right up your alley. If oversaturated, the flavor could easily become cloying, perhaps even medicinal, but luckily, Starbucks gracefully avoids that pitfall. The lavender was a prominent enough addition to add some intrigue to the Frappuccino’s milky/vanilla-y base but still mellow enough to remain light and refreshing. That being said, it didn’t thrill me; I felt it was definitely good, but definitely not great.

Part of that for me was due to the texture — which admittedly is the same for all Frappuccinos, not just the Lavender Crème one, but if you’ve never tried any of them before, I want to make sure you know what you’re getting yourself into! Some people claim that Frappuccinos, particularly the coffee-less ones like this, are basically just milkshakes, but IMHO (In My Hungry Opinion), they’re more closely related to slushies. After all, once you eat through the pretty covering of whipped cream (or allow it to melt if you’re a bit more patient than me), not even the lovely light purple coloring will distract you from seeing how gritty this frap is. In addition to the tasty ingredients I mentioned earlier, another key component is ice, giving this drink a graininess that I would be quite unhappy to find in a shake. That also means that the frap flavor experience is inherently unbalanced. The earlier sips are likely to be more flavorful as you slurp up more of the syrup, but the closer you get to the end of your drink, the more likely you are to face mouthfuls that are just watery or even straight-up icy, with a taste that can mostly just be summed up as “cold.”

Like the spring flowers that are one day fated to wilt, the Lavender Crème Frappuccino won’t be around forever, so if you love not-quite-milkshakes, the color purple, and/or perfume-y flavors, check it out. But at least for me, when it goes away with the end of the season, it won’t be the end of the world.

Purchased Price: $4.75
Size: Tall (12 oz)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 260 calories, 12 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 35 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 35 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 35 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

REVIEW: KFC Apple Pie Poppers

One institution of Americana, Kentucky Fried Chicken, has added another icon of Americana, apple pie, to its menu.

These new KFC Apple Pie Poppers feature apple pie filling inside a crust, available in orders of four or ten. They are roughly two inches long, with a seam on one side and slits on the other.

The filling is pretty standard for canned or mass-produced apple pie: small apple chunks in a thick syrup with a noticeable quantity of cinnamon. It’s nowhere near as good as a pie made with fresh apples, but of course, I don’t expect that from a fast food restaurant. I like the way some of the syrupy filling caramelizes as it oozes out of the crust.

And speaking of crust, the pastry is really the star here. It is soft, chewy, and even a little bit stretchy. I know that sounds weird and possibly gross, but I don’t know how else to describe it. It has a wonderful texture! And the flavor is satisfying and buttery.

Taken together, the filling and the crust are similar to apple pies or turnovers from other fast food joints. If you’re reading this blog, you’ve probably eaten something nearly identical at some point.

There is nothing groundbreaking about these KFC Apple Pie Poppers, and I don’t know if I’ll go out of my way to have them again, especially since Kentucky Fried Chicken is not in my regular fast food rotation. However, they are still a tasty dessert option, and they seem like the kind of thing KFC really ought to have on its menu.

Purchased Price: $2.49
Size: 4-piece order
Rating: 7 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 piece) 80 calories, 5 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 55 milligrams of sodium, 9 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.

REVIEW: Old El Paso Cinnamon Toast Crunch Dessert Taco Shells

I’m a Cinnamon Toast Crunch guy, through and through. In my pantry right this second, for example, I have Cinnamon Toast Crunch Soft Baked Oatmeal Bars, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Cake Mix, Cinnamon Toast Crunch Icing for said cake mix (or just for finger-dipping, like a garden variety unhinged lunatic), and a double-box of the namesake cereal from Costco.

Now, I can’t attest to the cake mix, as I haven’t had it, but I don’t like the oatmeal bars, the “Loaded” cereal I had a few months ago was pretty bad, and the less said about the Stuffed Puffs Marshmallow Filled bites, the better. Point being, while CTC’s PR people are great at selling their product as a desirable collaborator, the actual execution of the experimentations leaves a lot to be desired.

So the big question, then, regarding the new Old El Paso Stand ‘n Stuff Cinnamon Toast Crunch Dessert Taco Shells, is, will these finally buck the trend?

I’ve enjoyed Old El Paso’s flavored Stand ‘n Stuff shells before — specifically the Bold Nacho Cheese and Zesty Ranch varieties — so I had high hopes. This was further encouraged when I pulled the Cinnamon Toast version out of its packaging. The shell itself was heavily dusted, which was a good sign. This was where the good things ended, sadly.

The box instructs you to heat the shells in the oven or the microwave, further noting that “unheated shells will be chewy.” Because things are generally better coming from the oven, I opted to do that. Here’s the thing — heating these shells in the oven made them incredibly brittle and unforgiving. They cracked into pieces upon the first bite, and the texture was a little like chewing on drywall. Because I was so put off by the texture, I actually tried one unheated, and, what do you know, it was much improved. The cinnamon taste, which was almost completely absent on the heated shells, was mildly more noticeable (still not saying much, I know) on the unheated kind. (I didn’t try the microwave; I was completely over these things by my third shell.)

Basically, these shells are regular Old El Paso taco shells that have been sprayed with cinnamon dust. So, due to the very mild cinnamon taste, it mostly tastes like you’re eating ice cream in a regular crunchy corn taco shell. If you think that sounds good, then, by all means, have the rest of mine.

I filled one with regular vanilla ice cream as a benchmark of sorts and one with Blue Bell’s Cinnamon Twist, a newer ice cream I love. Due to vanilla’s plainness, it tasted as mentioned in the above paragraph — as though I was eating an ice cream taco (and not a Choco Taco, which is an immensely better thing to eat). The shell filled with the Cinnamon Twist ice cream was much better; the strong cinnamon from the ice cream overpowered the shell’s salty corn flavor, rendering it into nothing more than a wall-textured ice cream delivery vehicle.

As much as it pains me to say it, these things were a flop. But fear not, brilliant Cinnamon Toast Crunch PR people! It’s pretty obvious I’ll buy whatever weird crossover you put in front of me. Once, anyway.

Purchased Price: $3.18
Size: 10 shells
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 3 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (2 shells) 160 calories, 9 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 105 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar (including 2 grams of added sugar), and 2 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Starbucks Lavender Oatmilk Chill

Starbucks’ new Lavender Oatmilk Chill looks so relaxing. The top of it in the photo above makes me feel like I’m hovering above light purple clouds and I’m going to meet the Care Bears. I’m getting sleepy just by looking at it. Heck, if you attach the cup to a necklace or something, you could probably hypnotize me.

The shaken drink features oatmilk, lavender powder, ice, and a scoop of freeze-dried dragonfruit pieces. It’s caffeine-free, so this might do the trick if you want a beverage to help you chill.

My experience with lavender food extends from lavender ice cream in Japan that was totemo oishii (very delicious) to lavender-flavored teas to help me sleep. But something about the Lavender Oatmilk Chill doesn’t have me singing its praises from lavender-covered hilltops.

Its aroma smells very similar to the lavender sleep spray I use, which I’m not sure is good or bad. It’s relaxing but also concerning because it reminds me of a product I’m not supposed to consume. But I consumed this Starbucks drink anyway, and the first couple of sips tasted like fruity cereal milk, but that faded and was replaced with the expected lavender flavor. The oatmilk adds a pleasant creaminess I don’t think I’d get with other non-dairy milk options. While I couldn’t get the scent of the lavender spray entirely out of my mind, I thought the floral flavor was nice and definitely drinkable.

As for the freeze-dried dragonfruit pieces, I’m pretty sure they’re just there to make the drink look even prettier for social media, adding dark purple spots to contrast the light purple drink. Although edible, I’m not sure they’re meant to be consumed because they can’t come out from the sipping lid’s opening. While the drink was shaken vigorously, it didn’t taste like the dragonfruit’s flavor got mixed in with the lavender. But dragonfruit can taste so mild that I’m not surprised it doesn’t come through. They also didn’t do anything for me when I removed the lid and chewed on a few pieces while sipping the drink.

Overall, I like this drink, but I don’t lovender it. But if you’ve been eyeing Starbucks’ Lavender Crème Frappuccino for its lavender flavor and lack of caffeine but don’t want the calories, fat, and sugar the blended beverage has, relax, my friend. The chain’s Lavender Oatmilk Chill is here for you.

Purchased Price: $4.95
Size: Grande
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 230 calories, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 22 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.