The Impulsive Buy » Soap

WEEK IN REVIEWS – 4/30/2011

Marvo — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 11:21:16 +0000

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

If only I had a Dunkin’ Donuts nearby, then I could Do the Dew by dunking a Dunkin’ Donuts donut into the Dunkin’ Donuts Mountain Dew Coolatta. (via On Second Scoop)

I still have the mind of a child. How do I know? Because reading the words Juicy Squirts still make me giggle. (via ZOMG Candy)

I’ve never had a Russian cream soda before, but I imagine (insert Russian reversal joke here). (via Weird Soda Review)

Hey! I just realized caffeinated soap is a great way to get caffeine…through the penis. (via Caffeine-A-Holic)

Sierra Mist is all-natural. Does this mean it has unshaven armpits, wrinkles, and small breasts? (via Eat! Drink! Snack!)

There’s an energy drink for hunters and fishermen. How about an energy drink for the hunted? Their lives are on the line, I think they need it more. (via Caffeine King)

Image via flickr user shawnzrossi / CC BY 2.0

Method Sea Mineral Hand Wash Refill

Marvo — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 11:23:01 +0000

I’d like to think I’m an eco-friendly person. I recycle plastic bottles, glass, newspapers, and cardboard; I drive 40 miles per hour on the freeway and get called “grandma” by non-eco-friendly drivers to maximize my car’s gas mileage; I take lame gifts given to me, rewrap them, and give them to someone else; and I flush the toilet only if I go Number Two. I also love companies that promote eco-friendly products and ideas, so it is no surprise that I really like the Method Sea Minerals Hand Wash Refill, which consists of 96 ounces of pure Method eco-friendly goodness.

The regular 12-ounce bottle of Method Hand Wash costs about $3-$4, so it was really nice to get eight times the amount of soap for only twice the price at Costco. Whether you have to wash after shaking the hand of someone who you think is crazy or get fresh blood off of your hands, the Method Sea Mineral Hand Wash will get your hands clean in a biodegradable, triclosan-free, naturally derived, and animal testing-free way. The Sea Mineral soap itself had a pleasant, clean scent that kind of reminded me of the sea, but I’m not sure about it smelling like sea minerals. Although, I have to admit that I don’t know what sea minerals are, which is, of course, sad because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Method could’ve gone the easy route and just put something simple on the bottle to encourage us to recycle it, like “Recycle this, bitch!” Instead, printed on the bottle are their recommendations for possible uses when it’s empty, which are turning it either into a vase, water jug, or piggy bank. However, when I’m done with mine I’m probably going to either go all Matthew McConaughey on it and turn it into a musical instrument or carry it around with me and whenever I come up with a good idea I hold it above my head upside down.

With all of this eco-friendly love, I feel like hugging a tree, but I’m afraid I might hurt it, so instead I’ll have to settle for hugging this huge Method Sea Minerals Hand Wash Refill bottle, which you can see below.

(Editor’s Note: This guy loves Method products, but I’m sure the video above proves that I love them more.)

Item: Method Sea Minerals Hand Wash Refill
Price: $7.89
Size: 96 ounces
Purchased at: Costco
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Nice smell. Big refill. Cheap for a Method product. Biodegradable, triclosan-free, naturally derived, and animal testing-free. Convenient handle. It’s blue. Bottle encourages you to reuse the bottle.
Cons: Not sure if it smells like sea minerals. I don’t know what sea minerals are, despite living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. I think it’s only available at Costco. Having to be the person who uses the toilet after me.

Method Pure Minimalist Water Flower Bloq Body Bars

Marvo — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 07:00:38 +0000

Paying six dollars for two Method Pure Minimalist Water Flower Bloq Body Bars may seem like a lot of money, but it is one of the ways I can feel like a wealthy asshole.

Some rich pricks buy fast European cars, some purchase houses with hidden dungeons, and others acquire things that should never be gold-plated or diamond-encrusted, like toilets and MP3 players for dogs, but because I lack the funds to purchase a Lamborghini, the Neverland Valley Ranch, or a shiny, anatomically incorrect statue of myself, I’m stuck with bars of soap.

Each Bloq Body Bar is individually wrapped in a box for either your pleasure, convenience, or sanitation. If it is the latter, I totally understand because I hate when non-individually wrapped bars of soap get dirty.

If only there was a product out there that could help me clean those bars of soap. Something that lathers nicely. Something I could conveniently hold in my hands. Something that could easily be rinsed away with water. I don’t know what that product is, but since these bars of soap are individually wrapped, I don’t need to worry about them getting dirty.

Besides being much more expensive than most bars of soap, the Bloq Body Bars come in a non-conforming square shape, which measures 2.75 inches wide and deep and weighs in at 4.5 ounces. Soap bar purists might get upset about its even geometric shape, but I think they would enjoy its light, clean floral scent, which I think is one of the better smelling bars of soap I have ever rubbed across my soft, pudgy naked body.

According to the Method Pure Minimalist Water Flower Bloq Body Bars box, the bars are vegetable based, 99 percent naturally derived, and contain exfoliating jojoba beads. Unfortunately, after looking at its ingredients I couldn’t find any vegetables.

No carrots. No celery. No lettuce. No cabbage. No broccoli. No Keith Richards passed out after a whiskey binge. However, I did find that it contains olea europaea (olive) fruit oil, camellia sinensis (green tea) leaf extract, vitis vinifera (grape) seed oil, butyrospermum parkii (shea butter), and aloe barbadensis (aloe vera) leaf juice.

I’ve been using a bar of it every day for more than a month (without masturbation) and it’s still got some life left in it for many more rendezvous with my hairy naked body that makes babies cry, scientists claim they’ve found Bigfoot, and makes dogs want to hump my leg. But when the dogs do hump my leg, at least I’ll smell good thanks to this Bloq Body Bar.

Item: Method Pure Minimalist Water Flower Bloq Body Bars
Price: $5.99 (2 bars)
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice, light, and clean floral scent. 99 percent naturally derived. Lasts a while. A anatomically incorrect gold statue of myself. Feeling like a wealthy asshole.
Cons: Pricey for just two bars of soap. Being a wealthy asshole. Square bars may make soap bar purists upset. Being in the Neverland Valley Ranch dungeon. Keith Richards after a heroin binge. No vegetables.

Are you illiterate? Listen to this review. Oh wait, if you’re illiterate, you probably can’t read this either.