NEWS: Pepsi Japan To Release Another Limited Edition Flavor, Pepsi America Still Won’t Re-Release Crystal Pepsi

Next month, Pepsi Japan will release the limited edition Pepsi Mont Blanc, which, sadly, will not taste like Montblanc pen ink.

The soda’s sweet chestnut flavor is inspired by the Mont Blanc dessert, which is made with pureed chestnuts and whipped cream.

At the rate Pepsi Japan pumps out limited edition sodas, if the Japanese get a limited edition version of Crystal Pepsi or Holiday Spice Pepsi before the United States does, I’m going to punch a Japanese man in the face.

And since I’m the closest Japanese man near me, I’ll be punching myself like the bullies made me do in elementary school.

Pepsi Mont Blanc will be made in limited numbers and available in Japan in 490 ml bottles for 140 yen starting on October 26th.

Or if you live in the United States, they will be available in 490 ml bottles for five to seven US dollars plus shipping on October 25th on eBay.

NEWS: Listerine Introduces A Mouthwash for Wusses

Are you one of those weaklings who can’t stand the burning sensation of Listerine?

Before, you had two options: grow a pair or not use the mouthwash that kills germs and bacteria in your mouth that cause bad breath. But now, probably thanks to your crying and whining, you have another option — Listerine Zero.

Listerine Zero is alcohol free, which makes it less intense and impossible for people to get drunk off of it, but it’s still able to kill millions of bad breath germs in your mouth.

It only comes in a Cool Mint flavor and is available in two sizes: 500 mL and 1 liter.

NEWS: MorningStar Farms Hot And Spicy Veggie Sausage Tries Burning You To Make You Forget It’s Not Meat

It’s fitting to see a company named MorningStar Farms come out with a hot and spicy version of their veggie breakfast sausages, since Morning Star is another name for Lucifer, who likes hot and spicy places.

MorningStar Farms Hot & Spicy Veggie Sausage Patties are seasoned with herbs and spices, like crushed red pepper, red bell peppers, black pepper and cayenne pepper. I’ve had their original veggie sausage patties, which I’ve enjoyed, and their maple-flavored variety, which tastes just like the original ones, and since I likey the spicy, I’ll probably enjoy these.

A box of MorningStar Farms Hot & Spicy Veggie Sausage Patties contains six patties. Each hot and spicy patty contains 70 calories, 3 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 230 milligrams of sodium, 130 milligrams of potassium, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of fiber and 8 grams of protein.

NEWS: Vitaminwater Connect Gives Facebook Users Something Appropriate To Spit Out When They Find Out Via Facebook The Ex They Still Think About Is Now Married

Last year, Vitaminwater allowed their Facebook fans to create a new flavor and the result of that is Vitaminwater Connect. The newest beverage from the Coke-owned company is a black cherry-lime flavored water that contains eight “key nutrients” and caffeine. Sadly, none of the ingredients in the beverage were grown via FarmVille.

As with all flavors of Vitaminwater, it contains the obligatory light-hearted copy in all lowercase letters:

“we caught you. no use denying it. your fingerprints are all over this bottle. after connecting on Facebook, you voted on the flavor & designed the label—it was great having you do all the work! and since you’ve been so busy pretending not to notice friend requests for about 3 days, posting pics of events (that you’re still at), and clicking through photos of ‘friends’ you barely know (ever get nervous they can tell?), better crack open this bottle. it’s got 8 key nutrients from vitamin a to zing plus caffeine to give you some extra energy… because based on last night’s pics, it looks like you’ve got some serious untagging to do.”

It won’t be available until March, but you can kill some of that time by playing Mafia Wars or Bejeweled Blitz.

NEWS: New Wanchai Ferry Frozen Meals Make The Freezer Aisle Look A Little More Ethnically Diverse

I <3 Panda Express, but I don’t like the fact that their restaurants close at the unreasonable time of before 10:00 P.M. What if a pregnant woman is craving orange chicken in the middle of the night? What if someone wants some sweet and sour pork after some sweet and sour porking? What if a stoner desires mushroom chicken after smoking some weed and noshing on some shrooms? Thankfully, Wanchai Ferry is here to save us all with their new frozen meals.

I reviewed and enjoyed the Wanchai Ferry Cashew Chicken Chinese Dry Dinner Kit, so I’m looking forward to trying these complete frozen meals that serve two people.

The Wanchai Ferry Frozen Meals come in five flavors: Sweet & Spicy Shrimp, Orange Chicken, Sweet & Sour Chicken, Spicy Garlic Chicken and Shrimp Lomein. Each bag contains the meat, vegetables and starch for a complete meal. Also, according to the image above, they take about 14 minutes to heat up, but I’m not sure if they’re microwaveable, and they contain no MSG.

Encourage Freezer Burns or Heat Eat Review to review them.