NEWS: Trick Friends Into Thinking You’ll Have Awesome Food At Your Super Bowl Party With New Ruffles Molten Hot Wings and Pizza Supreme Doritos

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Update: Click here to read our Doritos Pizza Supreme review.

Update 2: Click here to read out Ruffles Molten Hot Wings and Loaded Chili & Cheese review.

No one wants to come to your Super Bowl party because your 32-inch high-def television is too small for the big game? You could spend $2,000 to buy a bigger HDTV or you could promise to cook food that’ll compensate for your television’s size.

Don’t have $2,000 or the ability to cook?

Well, don’t worry. Just tell your friends you’ll be serving up hot wings, chili & cheese and supreme pizza at your Super Bowl party. After they all arrive, chain the doors so no one can leave, open up bags of the new Ruffles Molten Hot Wings, Ruffles Loaded Chili & Cheese, and Doritos Pizza Supreme, and then shout “Bon Appetit!”

The new Ruffles flavors still have ridges and the Doritos Pizza Supreme uses the same technology Frito-Lay used to create the eerily accurate Madden-Inspired Doritos flavors to help create a Doritos chip that allows us to taste the different ingredients found on a supreme pizza.

Yay, technology!

The new Ruffles flavors have 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 170-180 milligrams of sodium, 15-16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of fiber and 2 grams of protein.

Source: Frito-Lay Snack Chat Blog

REVIEW: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Superfruit Fusion Cherry Pomegranate

Nutri-Grain Cherry Pomegranate Superfruit Fusion Bars

Super powers come in varying degrees. You have your laser-breath and invisibility on one end of the spectrum, and on the other you’ve got typing 200 words per minute and psychically communicating with tropical birds. Where does Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Superfruit Fusion Cherry Pomegranate fit in? Well, it’s complicated.

From the front of the box, one would be led to believe that both fruits hold equal footing, a kind of dynamic duo of breakfast treats, but the text on the back of the package tells another story: “We’ve taken traditional fruit and blended it with superfruit flavors (bold text comes from them, not me).

It appears that ol’ cherry with its artful stem knotting and crude virginity joke inducing powers is being nudged slowly into retirement to make way for pomegranate which, according to certain rumor mills, possesses a hypnotic stare and an arsenal of secondhand batarangs. Cherry has gone all mellow and senile but the higher-ups aren’t about to can him outright because he has so much knowledge left to impart, including the passwords to all of the Nutrigrainland computers.

One taste of these snack bars and you’ll know it’s true. That little bit of an edge cherry used to have? Gone. In its place? Subdued, confidence-lacking pomegranate. And when their powers combine they form something in the same flavor family as a sugar-dulled cranberry.

Both flavors are threatened by the gooey machinations of the highly controversial Mad Dr. Corn Syrup. As usual, our heroes manage to persevere in spite of the odds. Unfortunately, it becomes impossible to taste the subtle flavors of truth, justice, and the American way with everything else going on.

Nutri-Grain Cherry Pomegranate Superfruit Fusion Bars Innards

As for the super whole grain, nutrient-fortified outer shell, which Kellogg’s is now calling a “crust”, well, Fortress of Solitude it is not. It’s actually much crumblier than the regular Nutri-Grain shell, but still soft enough to not actually feel like what I would traditionally consider a “crust”. It tastes like maybe they got a hold of some dried out Trader Joe’s Walks into a Bar shells and sprinkled wheat chafe on top. While tasty, the casing has a tendency to fall apart and crush everything inside with no regard for the distinctions of hero and villain. There’s definitely a gritty reboot of a lesson hidden somewhere deep within this breakfast.

So on the super spectrum this ranks right up there with Elastigirl’s stretchiness or Robin’s hand-me-down range of bat-gadgets. It’s a secondary hero of a breakfast food. I’d certainly trust it to get my cat out of a tree or discreetly spy on my neighbors, but if the world were ending at eight in the morning, I’d still either flash the Odwalla signal or phone up oatmeal.

Would I buy this again? Maybe if I found it on sale, otherwise I’d take a pass. While the super bars managed to make one morning way more compelling than usual, I’m just not sure how well they’d hold up to repeated breakfasting.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 130 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 85 milligrams of sodium, 25 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 20% calcium, 20% Vitamin E, 25% Riboflavin, 25% Vitamin B6, 10% zinc, 20% vitamin C, 15% thiamin, 25% niacin, 10% folic acid, and 10% iron.)

Other Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Superfruit Fusion reviews:
We Rate Stuff

Item: Kellogg’s Nutri-Grain Superfruit Fusion Cherry Pomegranate
Price: 2/$5.00 (on sale)
Size: 6 bars
Purchased at: Schnuck’s
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Laser breath in a battle situation. Pomegranate and cherry working in harmony to defeat evil. Nice jam texture. Yummy without overwhelming sweetness. On board with the whole grain fad. Tastes more naturally derived than regular Nutri-Grain bars.
Cons: Laser breath in a non-battle situation. The bird psychic end of the super spectrum. Outer crust makes for a terrible secret lair. Truth and justice flavors undetectable. Crumbs and wheat chafe. Verges on mundane. Not actually that much more “natural” than its non-super snack bar cousins. Unable to save the world.

NEWS: Lean Cuisine’s New Spring Rolls Are Something You Can Bring To Work For Lunch and Something Your Co-Workers Can Steal From The Company’s Lunch Room Refrigerator

Isabel's Mum's Spring Rolls

Update: Click here to read our Lean Cuisine Spring Rolls review

Spring rolls are typically an Asian dish, but the rebels at Lean Cuisine decided not to play by the culinary rules with their new line of Casual Cuisine Spring Rolls. They come in three ethnic varieties.

The Garlic Chicken Spring Rolls contain white meat chicken, garlic, spinach, onions and parmesan cheese. The Fajita-Style Chicken Spring Rolls have white meat chipotle chicken, corn, black beans, bell peppers and onion. The Thai-Style Spring Rolls contains white meat chicken, shredded cabbage, julienne yellow carrots and spicy red coconut curry.

The folks that have filled the freezer aisle with a frozen meal variety that’s as vast as a Cheesecake Factory menu, call these spring rolls a “snack.” But I, and probably a Cheesecake Factory menu, think of them as appetizers, and something to make sure I don’t get hungry 20 minutes after eating a portion-controlled Lean Cuisine meal.

All three varieties have 200 calories, 7-8 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 4 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 10-15 grams of protein, 580 milligrams of sodium, 23-24 grams of carbohydrates, and 1-2 grams of fiber.

The Lean Cuisine Casual Cuisine Spring Rolls are available now and each box contains two servings of three spring rolls.

NEWS: DiGiorno Puts Pizza and Cookies in the Same Box; Also Offers Pizza and ‘Wyngz’, Goes on to Lose Spelling Bee

DiGiorno Pizza & Cookies

Update: Click here to read our DiGiorno Pizza & Cookies review

In a move that strikes me as amazingly random, DiGiorno is now offering Toll House chocolate chip cookie dough with its frozen pizzas. Unimaginatively called DiGiorno Pizza & Cookies, you can get your chocolate chip cookies with three different types of pizza: Four Cheese, Pepperoni and Supreme. All pizzas have a hand tossed style crust.

The box says the dough makes 12 cookies, but you could probably make one really big cookie with a raw center, or just eat the dough while you wait for your frozen pizza to cook. The recommended amount of cookies raises questions regarding how many people it takes to eat a DiGiorno pizza. If you ask me, that’s a lot of cookies per person.

If you’re not a big fan of dessert, DiGiorno also now offers Pizza & Boneless Wyngz. Wyngz looks like something my cat would type while walking across my keyboard, but the box describes them as white meat chicken fritters. Perhaps they made the spelling XTREME in order to avoid anyone thinking they were actually chicken wings. You can get a Supreme or Three Meat with Honey BBQ Wyngz, or a Pepperoni with Buffalo Style Wyngz. No matter which flavor Wyngz you choose, you’ll be getting approximately 7-8 of them per box.

No word on price for either combo. No word on cooking instructions either, but I’m assuming both the cookies and the Wyngz are designed to cook to hot perfection at the exact same time as the pizza. These launched nationwide last week, so look for them in your grocer’s freezer aisle.

Pizza and cookies, a combination the people have been screaming for for years. Finally, all our dreams have come true!

Thanks for TIB reader Stefania for the tip.

Source: DiGiorno Facebook Page

REVIEW: McDonald’s Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder

McDonald's Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder

Besides helping to increase toilet paper usage more than other foods, using the same ingredients to create new menu items is what Taco Bell does best. But it appears McDonald’s took a page from Taco Bell’s playbook when they came up with their Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder.

The latest addition to the McDonald’s Angus Third Pounder lineup combines the 100 percent Angus patty, bun, bacon, cheese, onion and pickles from a Bacon & Cheese Angus Third Pounder with the Chipotle BBQ sauce McDonald’s includes in their Chipotle BBQ Chicken Snack Wrap.

I didn’t expect McDonald’s, the 800-pound gorilla of the fast food world, who by the way probably got to 800 pounds by eating McDonald’s food, to stoop to the same level as the company who couldn’t be honest enough to name their Fourthmeal, which happens between late night drinking and breakfast, what it really is — Drunkfast.

Just like all of the other Angus Third Pounder burgers, the Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder has a bit of heft thanks to the meaty 100 percent Angus beef patty. Or maybe they feel heavy because the only regular arm exercise I get is lifting 20-ounce bottles of Pepsi Max. The Angus patty is, by far, better tasting meat than what’s offered with other McDonald’s burgers. Too bad its flavor gets lost in this burger.

McDonald's Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder Booyah

The Chipotle BBQ sauce is one of the main ingredients of the Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder, but it’s also the burger’s main problem.

The Chipotle BBQ sauce is like a telenovela without the sensuality — all flavor, almost no heat. But that was to be expected since the McDonald’s Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap also isn’t spicy. While it may not provide any heat, what it does have is a sweet and smoky flavor. However, that sweet and smoky flavor dominates the Angus beef and all of the other burger’s ingredients, because it appears the burger jockeys in the McDonald’s kitchens have their sauce guns set to splooge.

The burger also come with three strips of bacon, pickles, red onions, and cheese, but, again, the chipotle BBQ sauce doesn’t allow any of them much face time, just like I’m not giving them much attention by only talking about them in this one sentence paragraph.

The Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder is my least favorite Angus Third Pounder variety. Not only is its flavor disappointing, but also its lack of creativity. What was so impressive about the original Angus Third Pounders was that McDonald’s was able to take a giant leap away from what we thought a McDonald’s burger should be, with better beef and colorful, fresh ingredients. They’ve shown they can make that leap and create a decent burger, so I’m disappointed all they could do is swap condiments to make something new. All they’re showing now is that they perhaps no longer want to take leaps, just baby steps.

Just like Taco Bell.

(Nutrition Facts – Not available on website. But I’m pretty sure it contains trans fat and enough sodium to make dogs want to lick you when you sweat.)

Other McDonald’s Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder Reviews:
Grub Grade
Brand Eating
An Immovable Feast

Item: McDonald’s Chipotle BBQ Bacon Angus Third Pounder
Price: $6.99
Size: Regular Value Meal
Purchased at: McDonald’s
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Great if you’re really sick of the other Angus Third Pounder varieties. Three decent sized slices of bacon. Angus beef patty. Hefty burger. Pepsi Max. The original Angus Third Pounders.
Cons: Chipotle BBQ sauce brought no heat, and it’s sweet and smoky flavor dominated all of the other ingredients. Setting sauce guns to splooge. Swapping condiments isn’t very creative. McDonald’s take a page from the Taco Bell playbook.