WAYSNACK MACHINE: Doritos 3D’s

Doritos 3Ds 1

Waysnack Machine is a series that looks back at discontinued products.

You may think you’ve had Doritos 3D’s recently –- you know the ones; thick, triangular, kinda look like a tiny maze? They’re officially called Doritos Jacked 3D, and they’re not your grandma’s 3D Doritos. In this case, I am your grandma, because I am old, and I remember the original Doritos 3D’s.

Also, a quick Internet check seems to indicate that Doritos Jacked 3D have ceased to be on store shelves. So we have, yet again, been relegated to a 2D Dorito life.

But this post is about the OG Doritos 3D’s. Imagine, if you will, a literal 3D Dorito – like a puffed-up, fully-enclosed Bugle, but significantly thinner. These babies looked like they could actually float.

They only lasted from the late 90s to the early aughts, but I remember them quite well for several reasons. First off, the idea of a sort of popped, puffy Dorito sounds (and looks) cool, but there was a strange disconnect between putting something with such a large surface area in your mouth, and then crunching down and finding only…air. I’m surprised I never chipped a tooth chomping down too aggressively on Doritos 3D’s. They didn’t have as strong a Nacho Cheese flavoring as regular Doritos, which to me was quite disappointing.

Second, given their fragility, buying a bag of these was buying a bag of shattered dreams. And chips. Luckily, Doritos found a way around that by introducing a fun plastic canister for them to safely reside in. Actually, I have no idea if the canister was created for Doritos 3D’s, but it’s the only time I got one.

You could also use the cap as a little serving cup. Not a big deal now, but cool as heck when you’re a dumb kid. Plus, you could reuse the can to store things, and all those things would then smell like cheese dust! So many of my trinkets smelled like cheese dust.

By the way, Doritos 3D’s do still exist, in one place – Mexico. They seem to be always available for purchase on eBay if you think a shipped bag of popped chips is going to arrive intact.

Oh, and if all this isn’t enough, Doritos 3D’s got a commercial starring Ali Landry (who got her start in another Doritos commercial) and a young Sean Hayes, getting up to some chip-related hijinks in a laundromat. There’s no way Doritos 3D’s would have withstood the impact of hitting a dryer door. Just sayin’.

There are many “popped” products these days, but there’s nothing quite like Doritos 3D’s currently on shelves. I prefer the Doritos 3D’s of my memories, but those weird little pillows seem like something that could make a good comeback.

FAST FOOD NEWS: Burger King Farmhouse King

Burger King Farmhouse King

Update: We reviewed it! Click here to read our review.

Burger King’s new Farmhouse King combines proteins from a cow, pig, and chicken.

Sadly, the chicken is represented by a fried egg and not a chicken patty. The other two farm animals come in form of two Whopper-sized beef patties and thick-cut smoked bacon. The Farmhouse King is topped with two American cheese slices, crispy onions, ketchup, and BK’s “signature sauce” on a toasted sesame seed bun.

The farm-y sandwich has currently an empty space where the calories should be on the website, 80 grams of fat, 28 grams of saturated fat, 3 grams of trans fat, 337 milligrams of cholesterol, 2050 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of sugar, and 63 grams of protein.

If you’ve tried it, let us know what you think of it in the comments.

(Image via Burger King’s website.)

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Mtn Dew Game Fuel Arctic Burst and Tropical Smash

Mtn Dew Game Fuel Arctic Burst and Tropical Smash

Finally! A yellow Dew! Wait, am I the only one excited about that? (Spotted by Michael F at Wawa.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

FAST FOOD NEWS: Starbucks Zombie Frappuccino

Starbucks Zombie Frappuccino

Update: We reviewed it! Click here to read our review.

Get your cameras ready! The Instagram-friendly Zombie Frappuccino has just hit participating Starbucks locations for a very limited time (today thru October 31, while supplies last).

The colorful blended beverage features a green caramel apple Frappuccino base with a dark red zombie mocha drizzle and a pink whipped topping that looks like BRAINS!

A grande with whole milk has 290 calories, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 15 milligrams of cholesterol, 240 milligrams of sodium, 58 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 54 grams of sugar, and 5 grams of protein.

If you’ve tried it, let us know what you think of it in the comments.

(Image via Starbucks’ website.)

REVIEW: Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms Cereal

Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms

Guys, wow. This is big. This is Lucky the Leprechaun (aka Sir Charms, which is how I will now and forever more think of him) doing a Babe Ruth point to the center field bleachers.

Since its debut in 1964, Lucky Charms has changed its marbits (another LC name I was unaware of until now, and love almost as much as Sir Charms) quite often, reflecting holidays and general times-a-changin’. I still remember my world being somewhat rocked when red balloons came out in 1989. In my defense, I was eight; my world was rocked on pretty much a daily basis.

But the oats, the oats were a constant. Minus the no-brainer introduction of Chocolate Lucky Charms in 2005, it’s always been oats and marbits, living harmoniously together in a well-balanced ratio.

But now, in this year that has been so tumultuous, so uncertain, Sir Charms comes along and brings us a gift: Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms.

Gosh darn, if that isn’t a lovely winter wonderland of a box. It’s October as I write this, but I’m hearing jingle bells instead of spooky ghosts. You truly are magic, Sir Charms!

Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms 2

And that magic continues on the back. There are several fun puzzles to solve, although I could have done without the snowman with no eyes. There’s also a riddle: “If snowmen can’t take baths, how do they keep clean?”

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There are only three unique marbits in this limited edition cereal, but surprisingly, they differ from 2005’s Winter Lucky Charms, although they are much less varied. While not explicitly listed on the box, it appears they were going for a snowball, a snowflake, and a snowman. What actually came out was a generic aspirin, a rejected asterisk and…listen guys, I’m trying to keep it clean here because this is such a darn cute box of cereal. A bowling pin? Does that work?

Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms 4

Upon opening the box, it smelled only of oats. Which was a bit of a relief, since I didn’t want to be blasted with cinnamon. Tasted dry, it came off as a nice, warm cinnamon paired with a hefty amount of sugar – sort of like a Cinnamon Toast Crunch Light.

Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms 5

In milk, the cinnamon flavor almost entirely disappears, much to my disappointment. The marbits fulfill the vanilla part, but I wanted more of that warm cinnamon flavor. I was hoping for an oat-y Cinnamon Toast Crunch with bonus marshmallows, but I got a mostly regular Lucky Charms with a hint of cinnamon instead.

That said, Lucky Charms rock, and adding a touch of cinnamon makes them a little bit better. Plus, we got some special winter (they tried) marshmallows, and the cereal milk was a very light cinnamon vanilla flavor, which was lovely.

Limited Edition Cinnamon Vanilla Lucky Charms didn’t charm my pants off. It could be better. But a new LC is special in and of itself, so they get some extra points for trying.

By the way, did you figure out the answer to the riddle?

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup – 110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 55 milligrams of potassium, 22 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 10 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, and 2 grams of protein,.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 11.5 oz. box
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: A new Lucky Charms flavor. Learning about “Sir Charms”. Hints of warm cinnamon. Great box design. Tasty cereal milk.
Cons: For once, I wanted a stronger cinnamon flavor. Snowmen with no eyes. Vanilla seemed to only come from marshmallows. Marbits shapes are…questionable.