REVIEW: Burger King Cilantro Lime BK Big Fish

The combination of cilantro and lime sounds like one that we would find either on the menu at a fine dining establishment or in the recipe book that comes with a Magic Bullet blender. But it’s not something I would expect to see on a fast food menu board that also contains Crown-Shaped Chicken Tenders [...]

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REVIEW: Burger King Funnel Cake Sticks

Thank goodness for carnivals and circuses. They give us the opportunity to consume foods we normal wouldn’t eat anywhere else, like cotton candy; something deep fried that shouldn’t have been, like a Snickers, Oreo or Twinkie; and you can eat funnel cake, which has a shape and look that makes it appear to be [...]

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REVIEW: Burger King Cup Cake Sundae Shake

I wanted to use the festive-looking Burger King Cup Cake Sundae Shake as my birthday cupcake replacement, but it probably wouldn’t have been suitable. Because by the time someone lit the candle and everyone finished singing “Happy Birthday” to me in English and Japanese, while holding sparklers, the candle probably would have melted through the whipped [...]

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REVIEW: Burger King Angry Tendercrisp & Angry Original Chicken Sandwich

The Angry Tendercrisp and Angry Original Chicken Sandwich think they’re angry, but they’re not. I’ll show you angry, muthabitches! Woke up at 4 am ’cause someone was dragging a bag of cans on the street. Pissed me off because they interrupted me in the middle of REM sleep. Got to my feet, looked outside and saw a bum [...]

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REVIEW: BK Burger Shots

Geez, it seems like everyone is reproducing by the litter. First, it was the single mother in Southern California who gave birth to octuplets and now Burger King has spewed out from its flame-broiled uterus the BK Burger Shots. I wouldn’t be surprised if TLC offered either of them a reality show on [...]

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REVIEW: Angry Whopper

With the name Angry Whopper, you would expect this burger to be one spicy mofo that burns worse than the penis of a 1980’s rocker who’s conquered way too many groupies. However, despite containing jalapeno slices, pepper jack cheese, spicy onion rings, and a spicy Angry Sauce, the Angry Whopper produced just a whimper. The [...]

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