Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we like.

I’m not surprised a company offers a pizza made out of chocolate. But I’m surprised the company that offers it isn’t Domino’s. (via Chocolate Reviews)

If these potato chips are so exotic, why don’t I get a boner when I look at them, like I do when I see exotic women, exotic cars and exotic birds? (via Yum Yucky)

I should be afraid of a snack seasoned with something called “Death Sauce”, but I’m still alive after consuming a lot of the scarier sounding Taco Bell Nacho Cheese Sauce. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

Speaking of nachos, Fritos has a limited edition flavor called Ballpark Nacho. I hear they’re a home run. They’re so tasty, you might want to steal them. They’re so good they might inflate your ERA (External Roundness of Abdomen). (via We Rate Stuff and Hamburger Calculus)

A company called Primer has a caffeinated breath spray to help keep you awake. Another great way to stay awake is to buy normal breath spray and spray it at your eyes. (via Caffeine-A-Holic)

Photo via Flickr user pietrolambert

The Klondike Bar is an American frozen treat icon that has been helping generations consume more than 50 percent of their daily recommended intake of saturated fat for almost a century. It’s the 800-pound gorilla of chocolate-covered ice cream treats, which got to 800 pounds thanks to Klondike Bars.

It’s hard for a company to equal a product that has helped many gain cellulite in unflattering areas and has caused a number of people to post videos on YouTube showing what they would do for a Klondike Bar, but Klondike is going to try with their new Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream Sandwiches.

Each square-shaped sandwich is made up of peanut butter-flavored light ice cream with a peanut butter and chocolate flavored swirl and chocolate chips between two chocolate wafers. They’re smaller than regular Klondike Bars in both size and the amount of saturated fat. An original Klondike bar has 11 grams of saturated fat, while this sandwich has three grams. However, I’m sure if the Klondike Sandwich was coated in a thick chocolatey shell, it would have a lot more saturated fat and would probably be awesome.

Unfortunately, the Peanut Butter Chocolate Klondike Sandwiches don’t have a thick chocolatey shell and without one they’re not very impressive, or in Klondike marketing speak, there isn’t anything I would do for a Peanut Butter Chocolate Klondike Sandwich. Wait. Actually, if the apocalypse were upon us and I had to do whatever it takes to stay alive, I’d kill a man for one and then eat the man I just killed, followed by the ice cream sandwich for dessert.

The flavor of the peanut butter ice cream was non-existent, like Kate Gosselin’s abilities to dance and to not look like a pushy bitch. The only peanut butter I could taste were from the peanut butter and chocolate swirls, which didn’t have any chocolate flavor and were more like globs than swirls. The chocolate chips did provide a different texture, but not much flavor. Thank goodness for the chocolate wafers, which not only brought the chocolate, but also were quite durable and didn’t stick to my fingers like the wafers do with other ice cream sandwiches.

Overall, I expected something a little bit better from Klondike. Their Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream Sandwiches aren’t worth getting fat over.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 sandwich – 200 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 33 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 6% calcium and 2% iron.)

Item: Peanut Butter Chocolate Klondike Sandwiches
Price: $3.99
Size: 4 pack
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Uses light ice cream. Less saturated fat than a regular Klondike Bar. Durable chocolate wafers. The Original Klondike Bar. Being the 800-pound gorilla.
Cons: Peanut butter ice cream had no flavor. Swirls were globs. Globs didn’t have any chocolate flavor. Not worth getting fat over. Kate Gosselin’s inability to dance and to not look like a pushy bitch.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we like.

What are porn directors going to call a parody of Hot Tub Time Machine when the name itself sound like a porn title? (via Pajiba)

Oh, Kid Cuisine! When will you stop making meals that would probably make Jamie Oliver spit out profanity? (via Freezer Burns)

This chocolate Easter bunny freaks me out. But don’t say anything, because it’ll hear with those frickin’ huge ears. (via Chocolate Reviews)

There are now Skittles that fizz in your mouth. I wonder how that rainbow tastes? (via Candyblog)

McDonald’s now has real fruit smoothies, but I’m still waiting for a Big Mac Secret Sauce Shake. (via Grub Grade)

Are you a young homie trying to impress a young hottie?

Pushing her to the ground or teasing her are first grade tactics and ain’t going to work. I’ve got a third grade solution for you — necklaces.

You know they work because you’ve seen your daddy give your mommy necklaces all the time. He purchases one for Valentine’s Day, their wedding anniversary and after they end up on either Maury and Cheaters. Now you can’t afford the necklaces your daddy buys your mommy because you don’t have an allowance, which probably happened because your daddy buys so many necklaces. So I’m gonna teach all you young homies a cheap way to make your own necklace using the new Chocolate Cheerios.

Why Chocolate Cheerios and not the regular stuff or Honey Nut Cheerios? Well I think it’s one of the better tasting and sweeter Cheerios varieties and using the other stuff will make you look cheap. Also, if you use the good stuff, you can use the line, “I want to give something sweet to someone sweet.” I guarantee that line will get her to share her applesauce with you in the school cafeteria. You can’t pull that shit off with regular bland Cheerios or the not as sweet Honey Nut Cheerios.

In order to make the necklace, you’re going to need a bowl of Chocolate Cheerios and about two feet of thread. If you don’t know how long two feet is, ask your mommy or daddy to cut the piece of thread for you. If your mommy and daddy are having make up sex after he gave her a necklace, use the Chocolate Cheerios box to measure the length since it’s about one foot high.

Try to clean the table before you start, but if you can’t, don’t worry about it since you won’t be eating the cereal anyway. Lay the string on a table and start adding Cheerios to it. Alternate the different colors and she’ll know you put some thought into it. Once you’ve covered the entire string with Chocolate Cheerios, tie the two ends together and you’re done. Pour yourself a bowl of Chocolate Cheerios to celebrate, or if your parents are having make up sex, to feed yourself because they’ll be awhile.

Chocolate Cheerios isn’t quite as sweet as chocolate-flavored children’s cereals, but it does have a decent level of chocolate flavor, thanks to the fact that it’s made with real cocoa. Actually, its chocolatey-ness is exactly where I expected it to be since it’s a health conscious Cheerios product. But if it were any sweeter, I’d expect to see a cartoon character printed on the front of the box, some kind of puzzle on the back and it would be popular with 35-year-old virgins who live in their parents’ basements. I was surprised by how much I enjoyed it, but I was more surprised by the chocolatey milk that was left after eating the cereal, which tasted like something that only Cocoa Puffs could leave behind. I have to say that Chocolate Cheerios is my favorite Cheerios variety.

If the young hottie rejects you, but keeps the necklace, an 11.25 ounce box of Chocolate Cheerios can easily make several necklaces, as long as you don’t eat the entire box within three days like I have. If you need another line when you present it to the next hottie, you can use, “I got a neck-lace for your pretty face.”

(Nutrition Facts – 3/4 cup without milk – 100 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 13 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein and a bevy of vitamins and minerals.)

Here are Chocolate Cheerios reviews from other blogs.
Yum Yucky
We Rate Stuff
Everyview
Epic Portions

Item: Chocolate Cheerios
Price: $3.99
Size: 11.25 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: The best tasting variety of Cheerios. Made with real cocoa. Creates a chocolatey milk. Makes a nice necklace to impress a hottie. Fortified with vitamins and minerals. Made with whole grains. 100 calories per serving. May reduce the risk of heart disease, unless you eat it with lard.
Cons: Needs to come in a bigger box. Only 1 gram of dietary fiber. Pushing or teasing a hottie to get her attention. Ending up on Maury or Cheaters.

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we like.

A chocolate bar with panko inside sounds awesome. But a chocolate bar coated with panko and then deep fried sounds awesomer. (via Candyblog)

Yes! School lunch reviews! If I had a blog in the 1980s, I think I would’ve started my own school lunch review blog. (via Fed Up With School Lunch)

It is bar week at I Ate A Pie. (via I Ate A Pie)

(Insert random Japanese Kit Kat review here) (via Jen Ken’s Kit Kat Blog)

China Cola isn’t made in China, but if it were, you’d probably be able to find it at Walmart, just like many products made in China. (via The Soda Jerks)

Update: Click here to read our Chocolate Cheerios review.

I’ve always wondered when General Mills would come out with a Chocolate Cheerios. It just seemed inevitable since other non-kiddie cereals have gone over to the dark (chocolate) side, like Special K, Frosted Mini Wheats, Chex and Honey Bunches of Oats.

Come on Chocolate Covered Raisin Bran!

Chocolate Cheerios are made with real cocoa, but while they maybe healthier than a bowl of Hershey’s Kisses in a bowl of milk, they’re only slightly better for you than Cocoa Puffs, Cocoa Pebbles or Count Chocula.

A 3/4 cup serving size contains 100 calories, 1 gram of fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar and 1 gram of protein.

[via Yum Yucky]