I’m so used to seeing Jamba Juice’s frozen smoothie delights in an insulated styrofoam cup…or strategically placed on certain parts of my body when the temperature reaches 90 degrees Fahrenheit or above. So I find it a little strange to be consuming a frozen Jamba product in the form of the Jamba Vanilla Blueberry Pomegranate Perfection Yogurt & Sorbet Bars.

Since it comes in a yogurt bar form, there aren’t any cups or straws to deal with. There also aren’t any chunks of fruits at the bottom of the cup that I try to suck up with the straw, which end up kind of clogging the straw, so in order to get the piece of fruit dislodged I suck harder, but by doing so it shoots the fruit chunk out of the straw so quickly that it flies to the back of my throat and I choke on it. But for a brief second, I know what it’s like being a porn starlet.

The Jamba Vanilla Blueberry Pomegranate Perfection Yogurt & Sorbet Bars combine a pomegranate sorbet with small bits of blueberries and vanilla yogurt. The pomegranate and blueberry bring the tart, while the yogurt brings the creamy and tangy. I thought the combination of pomegranate and blueberry would make the bars extremely tart, but it was surprisingly subdued. Actually, I could mostly taste the pomegranate. The only times I could taste the blueberry was when I bit into one of the small bits of blueberries, but there weren’t enough of them so that they were in every bite.

Despite the lack of blueberry flavor, I thought the bars had a pleasant combination of tart and tangy. The flavors weren’t overpowering, and combining that with the subdued tartness, I thought these bars were a great light and creamy snack.

While the bars don’t contain a Jamba Boost, like their energy or immunity boost, the yogurt does contain probiotic cultures and something called prebiotic fiber. Since both help with digestion, I’d recommend not eating all four bars in the box in one sitting, unless you’re one of those people who already change their underwear several times a day. The bars, according to the box they came in, are a “good source of vitamin C.” But if you consider 10 percent as a “good source,” then you are either the Food and Drug Administration or a music executive negotiating the musician’s cut from album sales.

The Jamba Vanilla Blueberry Pomegranate Perfection Yogurt & Sorbet Bars make me glad I don’t have to deal with cups, straws and small chunks of fruit flying towards the back of my throat if I’m looking for a Jamba fix. It’s definitely better than whatever this was.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 90 calories, 1 gram of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 25 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 13 grams of sugar, 1 gram of protein, 10% calcium and 10% vitamin C.)

Item: Jamba Vanilla Blueberry Pomegranate Perfection Yogurt & Sorbet Bars
Price: $4.99
Size: 4 bars
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice creamy treat. Nice combination of tart and tangy. Not extremely tart. 90 calories per bar. Yogurt contains probiotic cultures. Made with real fruit. It seems like no artificial sweeteners were used. No high fructose corn syrup. Contains probiotic cultures and prebiotic fiber.
Cons: Hard to detect blueberry. Long frickin’ name. Despite what the box says, NOT a good source of vitamin C. Not available at Jamba Juice locations. Music executives screwing musicians with pathetic cuts from album sales, unless those musicians suck.

It looks like pomegranate has finally sold out and now must turn in its Superfood Card.

Jack in the Box, usually known for their high-sodium and high-fat fare and being one of the Five Horsemen of the Fast Food Apocalypse, introduced their new Pomegranate Berry Smoothie today. I don’t know about you, but it’s unusual to see pomegranate on a menu board filled with burgers, fried items and salads that have over 1000 milligrams of sodium.

Made from a blend of pomegranate, blueberry, red raspberry and cranberry Minute Maid fruit juices and purees blended with nonfat frozen yogurt, the latest smoothie could possibly be the best thing for you on the Jack in the Box menu. Although the 56 grams of sugar in the smaller size, might cause people to say otherwise. But I think the antioxidants found in each of the fruits included might negate the sugar content. It comes in 16- and 24-ounce sizes and retails for $2.99 and $3.99, respectively. The smaller size contains 280 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 250 milligrams of potassium, 69 grams of carbs, and the previously mentioned, 53 grams of sugar.

Coffee and tea are very much alike. Both need to be roasted to get their flavor, both come in caffeinated and decaffeinated forms, and both are spelled with unnecessary letters, that if removed, wouldn’t affect their pronunciations. Cofe or T, anyone? If I had to choose between a racist tea party with Amy Winehouse or a coffee-fueled marathon of The Hills, I would have to choose the racial slur slinging and tea sipping festivities with Ms. Winehouse and hope that no stray needle hits me or her eyelashes don’t devour me like a Venus Flytrap. I would choose the tea party because I really enjoy tea in any situation and because watching several episodes of The Hills would cause my IQ to drop by about 50 points.

Recently, I’ve been enjoying the new Revolution 3D Teas because I like my tea just the way I like my Fruity Pebbles — cold, fruity and sweet. The canned beverage comes in four flavors: blueberry, mango, pomegranate and green apple. According to Revolution Tea, it’s a “Multi Dimensional Beverage” because it contains a super fruit, multiple vitamins, white tea, yadda, yadda, yadda. All of that is nice, but I’ve been staring at these Revolution 3D cans for hours and have yet to see the image of a sailboat or anything else pop out at me.

Each Revolution 3D Tea had a perfectly balanced taste. Its sweetness was just right, each flavor had a slight tartness, the fruit didn’t overpower the flavor of the tea and the tea didn’t overpower the flavor of the fruit. I really enjoyed all the flavors, but the mango and pomegranate were my favorites. What I also really enjoyed about this product are the sweet, sweet antioxidants from the white tea and super fruits, although each only contained 2% juice, so I’m not too sure how much the super fruits contributed to its antioxidant content. All that I hope for is that it’s enough to protect me if I were to get hit by one of Ms. Winehouse’s flying heroin needles.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 70 calories, 0 grams of fat, 5 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 16 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% vitamin C, 20% vitamin B3, 20% vitamin B6, 20% vitamin B12, 20% vitamin B5, and 3D.)

Item: Revolution 3D Tea
Price: FREE (12 ounces)
Purchased at: Sent by Revolution Tea people
Rating: 8 out of 10 (mango)
Rating: 8 out of 10 (pomegranate)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (green apple)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (blueberry)
Pros: Well balanced flavor. Sweetness was just right. All flavors were really good. Slight tartness. Use of pure cane sugar. No High Fructose Corn Syrup. Antioxidants, but I’m not too sure how much. Fruity Pebbles.
Cons: Contains only 2% juice. Can’t see 3D images on can. Getting hit by a Winehouse heroin needle. Watching a marathon of The Hills.

I’m a sucker for things that are shaped like hourglasses, like board game timers and Victorian women with very tight corsets. It was this attraction that made me notice the hourglass-shaped bottle of POM Wonderful Pomegranate in one of the refrigerated cases at the national grocery store chain I shop at.

There were only two flavors in stock, mango and cherry (They also come in tangerine, blueberry, and, of course, pomegranate). I decided to pick the mango, because I love mango and it’s considered to be an aphrodisiac. However, I don’t know about that aphrodisiac part, because every time I’ve eaten mango, I’ve been alone…so alone. (tear)

The thing most noticeable about the POM, besides the hourglass-shaped bottle, was the fact it may have been labeled mango-flavored, but it surely wasn’t mango-colored. Instead it was a dark, cola-like color. For a moment I thought to myself, “The only time mangoes look dark like that is when they’re rotting.”

Then I thought, “Sure it’s not mango-colored, but I’m positive it’s got to taste like mango. What company in their right mind would produce a product labeled mango-flavored and it not be mango-flavored?”

(One 16 oz. POM Wonderful Mango Pomegranate bottle later)

Apparently I have found what could possibly be the ONLY mango product on the face of the Earth that isn’t mango-colored and doesn’t taste like mango. Instead it has this tart cranberry-type of flavor to it, which is probably the pomegranate overpowering the mango.

Now you’re probably asking yourself, “What’s pomegranate?” Well sit back boys and girls, here’s your health food lesson for the day.

Pomegranate is a red fruit and its juice is considered to be one of the healthiest around. It’s a wonderful source of potassium, vitamin C, polyphenols, flavonoids, antioxidants, and a bunch of other healthy things with long names. A glass of it has more antioxidants than a glass of red wine. Of course the real big difference between the two is when you drink large amounts of pomegranate all you get is a big dose of antioxidants, and when you drink large amounts of red wine you may end up with a hangover, unwanted pregnancy, photocopies of your buttocks at work, or all three.

Sounds healthy? Yes it is, but so is the price.

At $4 a bottle, it will be very hard to drink it daily like the Beanie Babies-type tag around the neck of the POM bottle suggests. I think it’s probably cheaper to get a health club membership, which will probably do you more good and get you that hourglass figure you’ve always wanted.

Item: POM Wonderful Mango Pomegranate
Purchase Price: $3.99
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Very healthy. Attractive bottle.
Cons: Doesn’t taste like mango. Very pricey.