This week, Taco Bell introduced the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is made with (Insert Here The First Five Taco Bell Ingredients That Pop Into Your Head. Don’t Worry, I Guarantee You’ll Get At Least Three Out Of The Five Right. And, If You Don’t Get All Five, Congratulations, You Might’ve Invented A Future Menu Item That Taco Bell Will Claim Is New But Won’t Seem New).

So, basically, the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) is a (Insert Here Older Taco Bell Limited Time Offer That Also Didn’t Seem New When It Was Introduced) with (or without) (Insert Here Random Taco Bell Ingredient Selected By Using a Ouiji Board That’s Being Manipulated By The Spirit of the Taco Bell Chihuahua).

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) weighs 206 grams and has 470 calories, 20 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0.5 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 1120 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, and 19 grams of protein.

The (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New) will be available for a limited time and retail for (Insert Here Special Price That’s Under $1) at participating restaurants. We Rate Stuff posted a review of the (Insert Here Menu Item That Taco Bell Claims Is New But Doesn’t Seem New).

Source: Grub Grade and Taco Bell

I wanted to ask the slightly above minimum wage earning person behind the Taco Bell counter if I could buy a large container of their nacho cheese sauce.

I didn’t ask because I wanted to be a dick, I asked because if all it takes is their nacho cheese sauce to magically come up with new menu items, like turning their Double Decker Taco into a Cheesy Double Decker Taco, then I’d rather to do it myself. I could also use it as a prop to act out what I imagine the Taco Bell new product brainstorming session was like when the Cheesy Double Decker Taco was created.

Taco Bell Executive #1: We need a new product for next month and I need it right now. And I need it to be good.

(Rumbling among the other executives)

Taco Bell Executive #2: How about we offer the Crunchwrap Sandwich, which has a generous helping of seasoned carne asada steak, sour cream, and refried beans in between two Crunchwraps The tagline for it can be, “Your mind has to wrap around it before your mouth does.”

Taco Bell Executive #1: That’s a horrible idea. Are you trying to kill our customers? Let me ask, are you high right now?

Taco Bell Executive #2: Maybe.

(Taco Bell Executive #2 giggles)

Taco Bell Executive #3: I got it. Since we’ve done a red taco shell and a black taco shell, how about we make a blue taco shell and use it for a shrimp taco. It’ll look like the shrimp are swimming in water.

Taco Bell Executive #1: Really? Lemme guess. You just watched Avatar again, and you’re probably high too?

Taco Bell Executive #3: Maybe.

(Taco Bell Executive #3 giggles and then high fives Taco Bell Executive #2)

Taco Bell Chihuahua: Yo quiero Milkbone Crunchwrap Supreme.

Taco Bell Executive #1: NO!

Taco Bell Bell: DONG!

Taco Bell Executive #1: NO!

(Taco Bell Executive #1 rolls her eyes.)

Taco Bell Executive #1: All right. We’ve got a lot of this nacho cheese sauce, so let’s just squirt some of it into our Double Decker Taco and call it the Cheesy Double Decker Taco. Are you all okay with that?

(Other Taco Bell executives nod to approve)

Taco Bell Executive #1: Good.

Taco Bell’s original Double Decker Taco is my favorite Taco Bell menu item and was the number one cause for my Freshman fifteen in college. The combination of a warm, soft flour tortilla, filled with refried beans, wrapped around a taco that contains seasoned beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and shredded lettuce gets my heart to beat quickly, although that could just be from the sodium. Combining the nacho cheese sauce with the refried beans obviously adds a lot more cheesiness, and that was nice. However, I didn’t find it to be better than the original, but I did think it’s just as tasty as a regular Double Decker Taco

While I didn’t think the nacho cheese sauce makes it better, I do think it makes it several times messier than the original Double Decker. Alone, the viscosity of the refried beans is high, but when combined with the nacho cheese sauce, it significantly lowers it, causing refried beans and cheese sauce to ooze out from in between the taco shell and tortilla when you bite into it. If you’re eating the taco with the wrapping it came in below you, you’ll find yourself scooping up escaped refried beans and cheese from it.

Overall, I liked the Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco, but that’s mostly because of my love for the original. Sure, it’s not very inventive and a monkey with a picture book of ingredients could develop something better, but if you think about it, it’s what we expect from Taco Bell. Personally, I think not straying too far creatively is the reason why when they introduce something a little more outside of the box, perhaps a blue shell taco, it blows our minds a little more than it should.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 taco – 350 calories, 15 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.)

Other Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco reviews:
We Rate Stuff
Smidview
Random Dude Eats Random Food

Item: Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco
Price: $1.49
Size: 1 taco
Purchased at: Taco Bell
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Just as good as a Double Decker Taco. Nacho cheese sauce brings on the cheesy. Provides 8 grams of fiber — thanks beans! I <3 Double Decker Tacos. Pretending to hold a Taco Bell new product brainstorming session.
Cons: Nacho cheese sauce makes it messier than a regular Double Decker Taco. Not inventive. A monkey with a picture book of ingredients could come up with something better.

Now that’s what I’m talking about, bitches! And when I say, “bitches,” I mean Taco Bell.

According to a post at TIB’s plutonic friend, Grub Grade, Taco Bell is testing out in select markets the Doritos Locos Tacos, which is a taco made with a shell that basically a taco-shaped Doritos Nacho Cheese chip.

After doing a bit more digging, I came upon a YouTube video from July 2010 of someone trying the Doritos Locos Tacos. So Taco Bell has been testing it for a while. After doing more digging, it turns out the Doritos Locos Tacos come in regular and supreme versions, which retail for 99 cents and $1.29, respectively.

To be honest, this makes me a little happy because it’s something I always hoped Taco Bell would release. If the Doritos Locos Taco is rolled out nationally, my gut looks forward to it.

Source: Grub Grade and NeoGAF Forums

Update: Click here to read our Taco Bell Cheesy Double Decker Taco review

Taco Bell’s Double Decker Taco is my favorite menu item to eat on their vast board of kinda-but-not-really Mexican food. There’s something about the combination of a warm, soft flour tortilla, filled with beans, wrapped around a taco that contains seasoned beef, shredded cheddar cheese, and shredded lettuce that makes me crave it like a recently converted vegetarian craves meat.

It’s like Taco Bell Frankensteined their taco with their bean burrito.

This week, Taco Bell introduced a variation of their Double Decker Taco, the Cheesy Double Decker Taco. Now you might be asking yourself, but doesn’t it already have cheese? Yes, it does, but when Taco Bell adds “cheesy” to the name of a product, it’s the kitchen code word for a hearty helping of their nacho cheese sauce.

The Cheesy Double Decker Taco has 350 calories, 15 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 760 milligrams of sodium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of fiber, 2 grams of sugar, and 14 grams of protein.

Taco Bell’s new Beefy Crunch Burrito starts out like 70 percent of the Taco Bell menu with seasoned ground beef. Then it’s followed by ingredients found in 50-60 percent of Taco Bell’s menu: rice, nacho cheese sauce and sour cream. Then it’s wrapped in a flour tortilla, which is used by around 60 percent of Taco Bell’s menu items.

However, the Flamin’ Hot Fritos stuffed inside the Beefy Crunch Burrito is a brand new ingredient that’s only in the Beefy Crunch Burrito. But knowing Taco Bell, it will eventually end up in tacos, Crunchwraps, quesadillas, nachos, Gorditas, Chalupas and salads.

A Beefy Crunch Burrito has 510 calories, 200 calories from fat, 22 grams of fat, 6 grams of saturated fat, 30 milligrams of cholesterol, 1250 milligrams of sodium, 61 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 5 grams of sugar and 15 grams of protein.

Source: Grub Grade

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

Fruitcakes are the cassette tape of the dessert world, because I can’t believe companies still make them. (via The Surfing Pizza)

The UK has a minty chocolate candy bar that’s meant to be eaten after dinner called After Eight. Is there also a senior citizen version called After Five Thirty? (via Foodstuff Finds)

There’s a Donkey Kong Energy Drink. I wonder if it’s possible to recycle the can by throwing it down a structure to try and thwart a pudgy Italian American plumber in red overalls from rescuing his girlfriend. (via Caffeine King)

You know what homemade Mountain Dew scented shampoo is good for? Attracting skateboarders, Call of Duty players and trademark lawyers. (via Possessed by Caffeine)

When I read its name, I thought Dear Girl Thunder was a Japanese candy bar that causes flatulence. I was wrong. (via Japanese Snack Reviews)

To write this sentence about Would I Buy It Again’s review of the Taco Bell Grilled Stuft Chicken Enchilada Burrito, I just used words from other sentences I’ve written to create a new sentence. (via Would I Buy It Again)