PRIZE DRAWING: Because Some of You Need More Protein In Your Diet and These Five Boxes Are Taking Up Space In My Room

Future Prize DrawingProtein is one of those things our bodies need in order to…to be honest, I’m not sure what protein is used for because I have an English degree and I got a C in college biology. Actually, I got a C or worse in EVERY science class I took in college. I also got F’s in Russian 101, Accounting 201, Math 100, Anatomy 301, Anatomy 301 Lab and I think one more class. I’m surprised I earned a college degree. Actually, I take that back. I’m not surprised because to balance all of those crappy grades, I took really easy classes, like a class that involved watching television from Japan, including a censored Japanese porn flick, and comparing it with American media.

I wonder if protein helps brain development? I guess if I listened in my science classes, I would know. Well, whatever protein does, I’m giving away lots of it thanks to the folks at Promax who sent us five boxes of their all-natural Promax Cookies ‘N Cream Energy Bars, which are taking up space in my room. I would move them to the closet, but they’re really heavy and I’m a weakling. I wish there was something I could eat to help me build muscle.

Oh well.

The Impulsive Buy will be giving away one box each to five lucky winners. Each box has 12 bars and each bar contains 20 grams of protein and is full of vitamins and minerals. They also don’t contain high fructose corn syrup. Whether you’re an athlete or just someone on the go looking for a snack, these Promax bars will satisfy you.

To enter this prize drawing, just leave a comment with THIS post and in your comment include something that you need or want that isn’t money. For example, I want more Impulsive Buy readers and I really want to beat Spencer Pratt with a canoe paddle…across the head…several times…while America cheers me on.

Please fill out the email field, because I’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing addresses. The Impulsive Buy will stop accepting entries on Saturday, June 20, 2009 11:59 p.m. Hawaii Standard Time. Only one entry allowed per person (I’m keeping an eye on the IP addresses) and it’s open to EVERYONE who’s 18 years old or older.

Good luck!

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you emails to Rickroll you. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you community newsletters. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail, damaged mail, or you failing a college course.

137 thoughts to “PRIZE DRAWING: Because Some of You Need More Protein In Your Diet and These Five Boxes Are Taking Up Space In My Room”

  1. I need some alone time with Spencer Pratt to re-pay him for all of the time that has been wasted by me in my life. Certainly the additional strength gained from ingesting these protein bars would really allow me to repay him for the damage he’s done to the world….think Casino Royale and knotted rope.

  2. i want to not want for anything anymore; to be satisfied with what i have; to be happy with who i am

  3. I want laser-like powers of concentration. I get distracted too- oh! And a sugar substitute that browns like sugar does.

  4. I want a good, cheap food. That’s why I keep coming back to this website. That…and the Spencer Pratt jokes.

  5. I really want the ability to fly. But only if it comes packaged with the ability to survive frequent lighting strikes. And bird strikes. And sudden changes in wind velocity.

  6. I’d like someone to slap Kobe Bryant next time he spews off one of his canned “I love my teammates” lines or when he makes that phony angry scowl.

  7. i want to hurry and open my own cafe so i can watch the faces of my co-workers when they finally realize how much they need me here.

  8. I want one of two things:
    -to go back in time to invent stairs
    -or-
    -to go foward in time to invent plasma stairs

  9. I want my best from to stop thinking he needs a million internet friends and just be happy he still has at least one real world friend left. Cause I’m the only one left that will put up with him anymore.

  10. I’m pretty sure I already said “I WANT THEM, MARVO”, via twitter. So there’s that.

    I NEED to be able to sketch on a napkin and have it sell for thousands of dollars without me dying first.

  11. I want Deborah Harry to call me onstage at the upcoming Blondie concert on July 19th and ask me to do nothing but stand next to her.

  12. I want to go back to vietman and finish the JOB oh who am I kidding im an old man now I just quess I want world peace

    THAT IS ALL

  13. I want out of this basement. Please. Someone send help. The oxygen is running out.

  14. I need a large turkey stuffed with seventeen double decker tacos, deep fried and covered with bacon and cheese and broiled to a golden brown…And then I will probably need a doctor.

  15. i want to start reading books again, as in novels. not brain cell killing law books.

  16. I want to win free protein bars because my doctor makes me eat protein supplements every day. They’re pretty much all gross, and I think it would be easier to suck it up and eat one knowing it was free.

    I also want a battery for my roomba because I’m lazy and I miss my robotic pet.

    In closing. PICK ME! PICK ME!

  17. I need privacy so I can eat french fried onions from the can without judgment.

  18. i really want a box of these bars because i spend 21.40 plus tax a week on think thin protein bars at trader joes

  19. I want to be smeared in mayonnaise with a car battery hooked up to my love handles so I can serenade a woman named Fraulein Humps in the key of C flat while she shaves the theory of relativity into the back of my head. She won’t cross her t’s if I don’t and I shan’t have it, I shan’t.

  20. I want to be away from Racine. I want my kitten to cuddle with me. I want a day off.

  21. I want those protein bars to be equally delicious, but more nutritious than those Hershey’s Cookies & Cream bars. Mm. I also realize the creators of those bars probably prey on people like me, making that comparison.

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