Happy Fifth Birthday!!!

Dear TIB,

Today, you turn five years old. My goodness, has it really been that long? Wait…Do I have to start sending you to school? You better tell me because I’m not going to jail for you. Oh, and for future reference, I won’t ever post bail for you. Sometimes you have to learn a lesson the hard way and if that means spending time in a cell with someone who’s missing teeth, has a face tattoo and calls you honey, then so be it.

But let’s not talk about a future that may or may not happen. Let’s talk about the present and past. You’ve grown quite a bit over the past year and made a lot of new friends. Sadly, your look hasn’t changed much over the past year or so. Perhaps it’s time for a makeover. But, unfortunately, daddy doesn’t have much money for one. I wonder if there’s a reality show out there that does child makeovers. Oh, who am I kidding? We would never end up on a reality show because I’m not an attention grabbing, fake-breasted whore or a muscular douchebag with anger issues.

We’re going to celebrate your birthday the same way we’ve celebrated your past birthdays by holding a prize drawing. For your fifth birthday, we’re going to give away five (5) mystery boxes, filled with items that we’ve reviewed over the past five years. The contents of each mystery box will be different.

To enter the drawing, TIB readers will have to leave a comment for this post with the words, “Happy Birthday TIB” and how they discovered TIB. They should fill out the email field, because we’ll be emailing the winners for their mailing address.

We will start accepting entries for the drawing on Sunday, August 9, 2009 and stop accepting entries on Saturday, August 15, 2009 (11:59 Hawaii Standard Time). Only one entry allowed per person. The drawing is open to EVERYONE.

The winners will be determined in a way that has not been decided. It may involve chocolate syrup, scraps of paper and an electric fan.

Fine Print: The Impulsive Buy promises your email address will not be used to send you spam about Chinese imports. The Impulsive Buy also promises your mailing address will not be used to send you information about how you can get $4500 cash back for a new truck. Bribes will not be accepted. The Impulsive Buy will not be responsible for lost mail or lost time cause by watching reality shows.

Well, TIB, since it’s your fifth birthday, I guess it’s okay for you to finally watch TV, although not all of the channels. I’ve blocked all of them except PBS, Nickelodeon, Noggin, and C-SPAN.

Love,
Papa

216 thoughts to “Happy Fifth Birthday!!!”

  1. Happy Birthday TIB!

    Oh, I remember my first visit like it was yesterday . . . 7-11 was running a promotion with iTunes for a free song with a Slurpee purchase, and I found a TIB Slurpee review.

    I must’ve redeemed over 50 codes for free songs . . . and my colon has never recovered.

    Here’s to another five years, and being able to watch more TV!

  2. Happy Birthday TIB!!!!!

    I found you 2 years ago while looking up reviews of betty crocker warm delights. I then sat down with my delicious microwave cake and read all of your past posts in one shot. Now I read the site everyday.

  3. Happy Birthday TiB!

    To be honest, I’ve been following you so long, I don’t remember at all how I found you, but I enjoy it!

  4. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I believe I found you via WouldaCouldaShoulda. But, I might be wrong – it was years ago….

  5. I found your web site from an ad about removing hair with spray can hair removal and it was Marvo’s leg. Since that fateful day I read this website daily and stil Laugh my ass off!!! You guys rock!!

  6. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I discovered you while trying to find Vegemite and then wound up finding an entire world full of awesome! I’m still working my way through 5 years of history and looking very much forward to the day that I can just read daily 🙂

    So, to you, I send the best wishes for a Happy Birthday and many more to come!

  7. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I discovered you through StumbleUpon one night. i fell in love with Marvo’s Hilarious reviews and have been coming here ever since!

  8. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIB!!

    To be honest, I have been reading you for so long I can’t even remember how I found you. What I do know, is my life wouldn’t be the same without you… I mean, what would I read at work when I didn’t feel like being productive?

  9. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I found you due to my intense love for Volcano Tacos when they came out. I wanted to see what others thought, and loved the site so much that I decided to stick around.

    HERE’S TO ANOTHER 5!

  10. it was december 2005 when i first found you tib. yoplait whipped chocolate yogurt. i was curious… and google brought me to you. (ok..so i didn’t know that date off of the top of my head.. i had to look it up in the archive)

    h a p p y b i r t h d a y t h e i m p u l s i v e b u y !

  11. Happy Fifth!

    I discovered you through Grubgrade. Or did I discover Grubgrade through TIB?

    Quite the dilemma. But really, who cares? Both are great sites that I frequent often and probably would cry if they went away.

  12. HaPpY BiRtHdAy TIB! I found you when I was trying to find info on a product and up poped you…thanks for all the reviews before i decided to try something new…you’re the bestest!

  13. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I can’t even remember how or when I found you but I’m glad I did! You have cured many boredom filled days and nights and I always look forward to new reviews. Thanks for sticking around and becoming one of the great ones!

  14. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I found you when someone mentioned the Angry Whopper and I did a Yahoo! search. Your review came up and I clicked on the link. I was hooked and spent the rest of the night reading ALL of your archives.

  15. I dont know how i magically stumbled across this, but it has given me days of unsuppressed joy going through the archives before work 😉 and furthermore its gives me reason to want to wake up and go to my shithole job. . . So thank u and happy birthday tib!!! (Also, Marvo. . . I think I love u:))

  16. Happy birthday TIB!

    Mamas so proud of you. I still remember the first time I laid eyes on you. It was when I was clicking away on some other random sight’s links and up popped you and all your glory. It brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.

  17. Happy Birthday TIB…I found this gem of a sit originally on Pajiba. I hope you can continue on for a long time to come.

  18. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I think I found you through HeatEatReview, Candy Blog or a random google search for food. I don’t remember which.

  19. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIB !!!!
    I came across your blog one day when I was stumbling. I have been a devoted reader every since. I love how you write and being so honest with your thoughts. I hope you have many more wonderful years and will look forward to reading them.
    Pam

  20. Happy Birthday TIB!!

    I found this site during one of those weird, trippy internet surfing escapades that I often fall in to. You know the kind… You’re not sure how you got there, and you’re pretty sure that Ceiling Cat is watching… but you’re not sure you want it to end…

    I’ve had extensive experience with chocolate syrup, scraps of paper and an electric fan. Does this disqualify me??

  21. Happy Birthday TIB! I’ve found out about this site after googling food reviews for mcdonalds.

  22. Happy Birthday TIB!!

    I’ve been following through RSS for a while, I think I picked it up from the Candy Blog or stumbled by through some other blog. Keep up the good work!

  23. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I followed a link from Candy Blog. The reviews are entertaining and informative…. I’m addicted now!

  24. OK here’s the story: my good friend and former boss wrote a short story about his first job after graduating college – selling cheese in a downtown farmers market. At the mundane markets, he would amuse himself by farting around the vendors who annoyed him and stole his customers. He described that his favorite “ammo” for the task was the Burger King Mushroom and Swiss Steakhouse Burger.

    The sandwich sounded interesting to say the least, not that I wanted to follow in his footsteps or anything. So I Googled it, and the first hit was TIB’s review, featuring the transcript of a PBS-style debate between Marvo and a rather mute King. I was extremely amused… and hooked.

  25. Let me try this again. How could I forget, Happy Birthday TIB!

    OK here’s the story: my good friend and former boss wrote a short story about his first job after graduating college – selling cheese in a downtown farmers market. At the mundane markets, he would amuse himself by farting around the vendors who annoyed him and stole his customers. He described that his favorite “ammo” for the task was the Burger King Mushroom and Swiss Steakhouse Burger.

    The sandwich sounded interesting to say the least, not that I wanted to follow in his footsteps or anything. So I Googled it, and the first hit was TIB’s review, featuring the transcript of a PBS-style debate between Marvo and a rather mute King. I was extremely amused… and hooked.

  26. Happy Birthday TIB!

    It’s been so long, I can’t remember how I found you. I just had a birthday, too, so I’m getting old and forgetful. I think I was looking up some information about a product that was reviewed here and I was hooked.

  27. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIB!
    I found you during the spring of this year, while on a search for blog reviews of food items to use as examples in my Journalism class. I teach high school English and Journalism in a small town in North Carolina, at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. I am trying to expose my students to the world of what I like to call “new journalism” so they can broaden their minds to something outside of the narrow world they often live in. I enjoy reading The Impulsive Buy and I am a Google Reader subscriber. If I win, I will select Journalism students to review the items and we will have fun with it! I will ask each of them to write a review of one of the items, and we will post some of them on our online newspaper!

  28. happy birthday TIB! i can’t even remember how i found you, maybe stumbleupon or random googling? but i’m so glad you found you!

  29. happy birthday tib!

    i found this site through pajiba love and was instantly hooked. you’ve never steered me wrong!

  30. I just found you through Mir’s WouldaShouldaCoulda blog. And I’m enjoying reading through the archives. Congrats on 5 years!

  31. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I found TIB through random links on a poker blog (can’t remember which one). I blog about poker and read mostly poker blogs, but I was in the mood to venture out in the world of blogs and followed some non-poker blog links, and here I am. I’ve been reading for the past 6 mos or so. Keep up the great work!

  32. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I found you during spring of 2008, when my friend and I were on our teacher’s computer while working as teachers’ aids. (We weren’t slackers… we just did such an excellent job aiding that she ran out of stuff for us to do. Yeah, we’re good.) She knew your site and after I read your review in which you compared strawberry milkshake Oreos to a vagina, it was love.

  33. Happy Birthday TIB!
    I found your site after a long night of heavy drinking and smoking and probably googled Crystal Pepsi or Taco Bell or Slurpee or whatever the hell else it is I eat when i’m high.
    I also think you’re a real hottie, Marvo!

  34. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I was looking up those oreo fun stix review to see what other people were saying about them. I didn’t think they were very good and I found this blog that had a review on them. The review was exactly what I thought of that damn product. “An Impulsive Buy” xD Now I guess I’m hooked.

  35. Happy Birthday TIB!!

    I found out about this site through a random link in a blog. I have been coming back ever since because the reviews here are very funny and entertaining. Congratulations on 5 years.

  36. Happy Birthday TIB!!

    I used to read Heat Eat and Review all the time and found a guest review from Marvo and came to this site and been a religious reader since. Here’s to many more years folks!

  37. Happy birthday, TIB! I found you guys through Heat Eat Review, and have been a regular since.

  38. Happy Birthday TIB!
    I discovered you when my friend sent me a link to one of your awesome reviews and haven’t stopped reading!

  39. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I would say I was searching for Muppet penises, but that happened just now. I cannot remember how I ended up here a long time ago, but I have it bookmarked and have had other people suggest the site to me since. I am a front runner in that regard.

  40. Happy Birthday TIB

    Well, I’m sure there are many many interesting ways to find this site. Like, googling giant Cheeto eating car parts for example. But that’s not quite how I found it. (Although it is what I will say should giant Cheeto eating car parts ever ask me)
    You see, my job as both a student and a lazy person means that I have very little time to cook. I live mostly off frozen meals and sometimes the boxes they come in (believe me after a while it gets hard to taste the difference). So, many eons ago I came across this site called heat and eat review. It reviewed all sorts of food meals. Being new to the foodie universe, I deemed it godly.
    After a few visits to the site, I noticed the ‘links’ section and TIB listed under it. Having no real life of my own, these other ‘food review’ sites seemed extremely interesting. So I clicked the TIB and the tumbled down the proverbial rabbit hole. Today, I’m a pretty TIB fan. Although, I still don’t have a life.

  41. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I honestly don’t remember how I found you, but i’ve been a fan for over two years.

  42. Happy Birthday TIB!

    I think I was looking for a review on energy drinks, stumbling upon your site, and was hooked. I love it! Happy Birthday! Many more years of reviews to come.

  43. Happy birthday TIB!!

    It has been a while, but I think I learned about TIB on a link from another site (maybe heateatreview.com).

    Thanks for all the reviews!

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