REVIEW: Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks

Eating Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks is pretty much exactly like the experience of going on a deep sea adventure, only without an actual boat, a body of water, maritime life and any sense of fun or enjoyment whatsoever. Well, I guess if you consider “maritime life” to be breaded sticks of unidentifiable fish, then it does at least have that. And to answer your question if I’ve seen the Kayne West episode of “South Park”: Why yes, I do like fish sticks, thank you very much.

However, these fish sticks were unfortunately very tiny, flaccid, and basically, “didn’t get the job done,” if you know what I mean. It might have helped if I had followed the conventional oven instructions, but what can I say? I’m a gal on the go and I can’t afford the precious 20-22 minutes it would have taken to cook them that way.

The flavor of the sticks themselves were otherwise bland, since the unidentifiable fish was actually pollock, according to the packaging. Pollock is pretty much like the tofu of the animal kingdom since it has no flavor to speak of on its own, and is the key ingredient in most imitation “Krab” meats. The flavor was improved slightly by some homemade mayonnaise and relish tartar sauce I whipped up to go along with it. Just because I’m a gal on the go doesn’t mean I can’t take pleasure in the details.

Other than the fish sticks, the meal also contained a meager portion of corn, which was chewy, unsatisfying and still kind of cold. I was too apathetic to heat it back up though, since I figured thorough heating wouldn’t really improve the situation. There was also an equally meager portion of “Macaroni and Cheese Sauce,” which kind of threw me for a loop. That’s like when you get chocolate covered pretzels and the packaging says: “Chocolate Flavor Coated Pretzels.” Really? I know the flavor is chocolate. But what I really want to know is what exactly the hell is on this pretzel. At any rate, the macaroni with cheese sauce was adequate, because honestly how can you screw up mac ‘n cheese?

Unless of course you put cut-up hotdogs in it like my boyfriend does. Gross.

The real excitement of the meal was a packet of three gummi sharks that came with it. They actually just tasted like normal gummies, albeit the kind of gummi that has that fluffy layer of white stuff on the bottom. My only complaint is that I got only one lime-flavored and two blue raspberry, when I would have preferred it the other way around.

Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks are prefect for parents who love their children just how they are, because with continued consumption, the 500 milligrams of sodium should eventually effectively pickle your child thereby preventing any unnecessary aging. For an adult over the age of eight, on the other hand, I wouldn’t recommend this meal since it’s basically totally unfulfilling and will make you go get your own personal tub of gummi zoo animals, which contains a much more satisfying amount of green gummies.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 meal – 390 calories, 12 grams of fat, 2.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 20 milligrams of cholesterol, 500 milligrams of sodium, 55 grams of carbohydrates, 6 gram of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, 14 grams of protein and 8% iron.)

Item: Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks
Price: $3.29
Size: 7.6 ounces
Purchased at: The Fresh Grocer
Rating: 3 out of 10
Pros: The Kanye West episode of “South Park.” Taking pleasure in the details. Gummi sharks.
Cons: No sense of deep sea enjoyment. Having to ever wait more than two and a half minutes for a meal. Only one lime-flavored gummi shark. Imitation Krab meat. People who put hot dogs in mac ‘n cheese.

21 thoughts to “REVIEW: Kid Cuisine Deep Sea Adventure Fish Sticks”

  1. Imagine if they screwed up the gummi fish. We would’ve probably ended up with another zero rated product. I think Kid Cuisine has to try harder to disgust us.

  2. I knew this was going to be bad because Abi at Heat & Eat Review found all of the Kid’s Cuisine stuff pretty vile. However, bad food makes for the best reviews so I could read a dozen reviews of Kid Cuisine meals. More, please.

    I wonder if these are intentionally bland because kids like food without much flavor compared to adults (they have yet to dull their taste buds with booze and smoking).

  3. If I had kids I wouldn’t feed them this crap. Seriously you can find better stuff. Also loved that Southpark episode. It basically reconfirms that Kayne was a complete “Jackass”. That is Obama’s words not mine!

  4. New TIB reviewer? Welcome!

    Deep fried gummi bears will probably make an appearance at a fair somewhere in the Southern US soon enough.

  5. For the record, “Mac & Cheese & Hot Dog bits” is amazing. Boiling the dogs before the mac goes in just adds to the flavor of the entire meal. Otherwise, spot-on review!

  6. @Chuck in BC we had deep fried jellybeans.. does that count?

    Welcome Stacey. I am ashamed to admit I haven’t seen that South Park episode yet.
    The only frozen meals I tend to go with is the michalinas but we did buy some frozen tilapia fish filets which were very good.

  7. I’m sorry you had to go through all that for this review, from the sound of it this was an unfortunate meal experience. Perhaps the makers of Kid Cuisine should be punished for producing such shoddy product and leaving your hunger un satiated and you unsatisfied

  8. Pajiba Love and Impulsive Buy: Two great tastes that taste great together. Stacey is like my internet peanutbutter cup.

  9. Isn’t buying a Kid Cuisine degrading? I mean who in there right mind would want to buy a product that even the demographic would reject (seriously I’ve seen kids complain when their parents try to buy them for them) I would rather eat ramen until my heart exploded than buy KC

  10. Ehh, hot dogs make ANYTHING better. Omelettes, mac and cheese, bacon, hot dog buns, the list goes on and on.

  11. Welcome Stacey!

    I don’t think I’ll ever eat a microwaved fish product. I’m the queen of frozen food but that’s just one place I won’t go. I heat fish sticks and frozen grilled fish (Gorton’s brand) in the oven and strictly avoid fish/shrimp meals. I don’t know why, but the idea of microwaved fish just grosses me out.

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