REVIEW: Subway Buffalo Chicken

Let’s say you’re a slut or a manwhore (and if you are, congratulations on catching herpes).

Eventually, all the one night stands with those whose names you’ve forgotten become a blur, and you’re unable to tell the differences between who or what you slept with. Sometimes it’s a woman. Sometimes it’s a man. Sometimes it’s a woman and man. Sometimes it’s more men and women than you can count on your hands. Sometimes it’s just a hole in the wall. Sometimes it’s a gearshift. But you don’t remember. For you, there is no walk of shame.

I’m not a manwhore, but I imagine it’s somewhat like watching sitcoms on CBS, since I can’t tell them apart. This is also how I feel about the new Subway Buffalo Chicken sub sandwich.

The limited time only sandwich is made up of chicken glazed with a buffalo sauce, a light ranch dressing and whatever veggies you like to pile into your monster phallic sandwich. The buffalo sauce isn’t very spicy and doesn’t have a strong flavor, but it could be that the light ranch dressing is doing some flavor cockblocking.

Because of its light flavor and because I’ve wrapped my mouth around so many Subway $5 footlongs, the Buffalo Chicken doesn’t stand out and it’s kind of bland. It just becomes part of the blur of meat, honey oat bread, lettuce, tomatoes, onions, pickles, olives, and cucumbers. Sometimes it’s a turkey breast. Sometimes it’s a cold cut combo. Sometimes it’s oven roasted chicken. Sometimes it’s a veggie delight. But to this subwhore, at this point, they all taste the same.

But what about those who don’t suck down Subway footlongs on a regular basis?

If they’re looking for a low-fat meal, a six-inch Buffalo Chicken has just seven grams of fat. But those people better also love sodium and hypertension, because it contains over 1,300 milligrams of sodium. For some, that’s half a day’s worth of sodium. For a slug, it means DOOM.

The Subway Buffalo Chicken was unremarkable because when I think of Buffalo Chicken, I think of strong flavors, but this sandwich lacked it. To me, it’s just another nameless notch in my bedpost.

(Nutrition Facts – 6 inches – 370 calories, 7 grams of fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 1300 milligrams of sodium, 54 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, 8 grams of sugar, 25 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A, 35% vitamin C, 6% calcium and 15% iron.)

Item: Subway Buffalo Chicken
Price: $6.00
Size: Footlong
Purchased at: Subway
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Seven grams of fat in a six-inch sub. Rad source of protein.
Cons: Unremarkable. Weak flavor. Lots of sodium. Not very spicy. Doesn’t have a strong flavor. Light ranch seems to be a flavor cockblocker.

24 thoughts to “REVIEW: Subway Buffalo Chicken”

  1. Well, I’ve co-written a novel with a friend — a kind of whimsical mystery, but we haven’t found an agent. Then I have a novel in the works about a character who works in baseball (imagine that). I’ve done some sports writing, grant writing, business and academic stuff. I also have about a million other fiction ideas, but I’m sure you know how that goes — when you have a paying job, it’s hard to get a lot else done. So…

  2. The concept sounds good, even looks good on TV – but my friends this is the worst sandwich i have ever ordered from Subway. The thing that really ruins the sanwich is the buffalo sauce (spicy??). It tastes like marinara sauce more so than the spicy & hot buffalo sauce that expect from the commercials. Try at your own risk.
    RATE = D-

  3. I agree.. I just finished eating this sub and I was expecting more of a kick? I think their chipotle sauce is hotter then the buffalo they use on the chicken.

    The only spicy part was the jalapenos.

    As for the flavor of the buffalo sauce.. Where did they get this crap? It must be the cheapest worst buffalo sauce they could find. It’s utterly flavorless, has no heat whatsoever. Subway.. If you’re going to release a buffalo sandwich, at least get good buffalo sauce. GET SOME FRANKS!

  4. I was looking forward to trying this sanwhich. I love buffalo chicken. Now i’m curious to know how the Buffalo chicken sanwhich from dominos tastes like… Has anyone tried it? i’d love to see a review of it on here.

Leave a Reply to Ken Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *