REVIEW: Morningstar Farms Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuits

Morningstar Farms Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuits

Do you ever wonder what it’s like to be a food scientist? I mean, somewhere in this country, right now, in any number of laboratories, there are chemists standing around in white lab coats, creating the next flavor sensation over a Bunsen burner and an Erlenmeyer flask. Do they have a list of objectives for each new invention? “Step 1: Create new convenience food. Step 2: Test flavor. Make improvements if necessary. Step 3: Collect paycheck. Buy Maserati.” Seriously, some of these folks earn up to six figures. When you throw in the added challenge of using meat substitutes for dishes traditionally reserved for the real thing, it makes that hefty paycheck seem all the more reasonable, especially if it turns out pretty well.

Morningstar Farms has a nice fake meat thing going on, and it appears their food technicians have mad skills in the stuffed sandwich science department. It’s like they took a look at the other smaller, less flavorful stuffed breakfast sandwich failures on the grocery shelves and said to themselves, “We can rebuild these. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the world’s first frozen, vegetarian stuffed sandwich with fake sausage.” They vowed that the Morningstar Farms Sausage, Egg and Cheese Biscuit would be that sandwich… A Six-Million Dollar Biscuit, sold for $6. Hot, buttery, and fluffy on the inside, crispy and flaky on the outside, and stuffed with delicious, low-fat ingredients that won’t slide out. And it would be huge for a frozen biscuit. Not teensy like some other brands. Better. Stronger. Tastier. And there’d be a fake bacon one, too.

I’m pleased to say that, on the whole, those crazy scientists have succeeded. The other frozen vegetarian sandwiches I’ve tried just don’t compare to the Morningstar Farms Sausage, Egg and Cheese Biscuit. For one, the other sandwiches lack fake meat, opting for just eggs and cheese. I’ve always preferred breakfast sandwiches that combine the holy trinity of eggs, cheese and some type of meat, and having low-fat, vegetarian sausage crumbles in place of full-fat pork or turkey sausage makes the whole thing even more attractive. Sometimes you just crave that third flavor in a sandwich to kind of balance everything out. Three is the magic number, after all. It’s science.

Morningstar Farms Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuits Outters Innards

However, I discovered that the number three isn’t so wonderful. Startlingly, it took me three separate attempts to cook the Sausage, Egg and Cheese Biscuit to an appropriate temperature and texture. It’s pretty strange, considering the warning on the box that the biscuit filling may be “EXTREMELY HOT” after cooking (presumably once), and that the biscuits themselves may be “too hot to handle.” It took a lot more time to get either of these advisories to come true. And even then, it was never too hot to handle.

The first time, I followed the package’s microwave instructions, and the result was just okay. The innards had been sufficiently cooked, but the biscuit itself was left a little bit spongy. On my second try, I used the conventional oven instructions and discovered to my horror, that the innards were still a bit cool, even after sitting in a 400-degree oven for 20 minutes. For my final attempt, I combined the two methods: I microwaved the biscuit for 15 seconds then placed it in the oven for the full amount of time. It came out perfectly: soft, warm, crispy-on-the-edges biscuit on the outside with a hot, sausage-egg-and-cheese mixture on the inside. The texture of the veggie sausage crumbles was exactly what I expected, but the cheese was a bit runny and may have gotten soaked up by the scrambled egg. It tasted much better than before, though. Good thing they sell these things in boxes of three.

The Morningstar Farms Sausage, Egg and Cheese Biscuit makes an excellent breakfast, but not if you’re in any particular hurry. The Sausage, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit is indeed state-of-the-art, but the Morningstar Farms scientists should have been a little more precise with their cooking instructions. Getting the temperature of my breakfast just right was a trial that brought me a little closer to the plight of a true food scientist… only the reward for my scientific experimentation had slightly less vrooom.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 biscuit (105g) – 270 calories, 80 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 3.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 1.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 600 milligrams of sodium, 190 milligrams of potassium, 39 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, 10 grams of protein. 4% vitamin A, 10% calcium, and 15% iron.)

Other Morningstar Farms Biscuits reviews:
Fork Fantasy (Sausage, Egg & Cheese)
Yum Yucky (Bacon, Egg & Cheese)

Item: Morningstar Farms Sausage, Egg & Cheese Biscuits
Price: $3.99 (on sale; normally $5.99)
Size: 3 biscuits/11.1 ounces
Purchased at: Pavilions
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Buttery biscuit. Low-fat breakfast. Savory vegetarian sausage crumbles. “3” is the magic number. Bigger and denser than other stuffed breakfast sandwiches. Erlenmeyer flasks. Lee Majors.
Cons: Took three different attempts to get the right temperature and texture. Liquid cheese. Not for those in a rush. Less horsepower than a Maserati. $6 regular price tag.

THE WEEK IN REVIEWS – 3/26/2011

cdcovers/bobby mcferrin/simple pleasures.jpg

Here are a few product reviews posted this week from other blogs we follow.

I wonder if Bobby McFerrin knows that Be Happy now comes in a liquid form. If not, someone should tell him because I’m sure he’ll be happy to hear he doesn’t have to sing that song anymore to make people be happy. (via Addicted 2 Energy)

The turkey patty in the Carl’s Jr. Turkey Burger has “zero flavor” and “wasn’t oozing juices, but did retain moisture.” Sounds like someone’s been using my technique for cooking turkey. (via An Immovable Feast and Grub Grade)

Is it just me or does chocolate dipped Peeps look like Peeps sitting in a nest made from poop. Ugh…Must cut back on the skat videos. (via Candyblog)

I still think Mountain Dew Supernova should’ve won the first Dewmocracy, and I’ll burp fight anyone who thinks otherwise. Oh, you don’t know burp fighting. It’s when two people bring their mouths close enough to each other like they’re going to French kiss, but instead of touching each other, they burp into each other mouths until one person can’t take it anymore. It’s fun for the whole carbonated family. (via BevReview)

Take your pick of products from companies that sound like they were named by people talking to babies — Booja Booja or Moo Moo. (via Jim’s Chocolate Mission and Freezer Burns)

NEWS: New Ritz Crackerfuls Flavors Go Multigrain, But Still Aren’t At All Ritzy

Ritz Multigrain Garden Vegetable Crackerfuls

I’m not a fan of Ritz Crackerfuls, because I think they’re gigantic, glorified rectangle Ritz Bits, but it seems they’re popular enough that Nabisco felt the need to quell the desires of Ritz Crackerfuls lovers everywhere by making two new varieties, Multigrain Sharp Cheddar and Multigrain Garden Vegetable.

Garden Vegetable? Pray tell, what garden vegetables do they contain?

Well, if you love dried red bell peppers, dried green bell peppers, and dried carrots, you’re going to enjoy the Multigrain Garden Vegetable Ritz Crackerfuls. Eating one may not give you a serving of vegetables, but if you’re someone who doesn’t eat any vegetables, it’s something.

Both varieties of Multigrain Ritz Crackerfuls have 130 calories, 7 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 210 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber, and 2 grams of protein. Both also use partially hydrogenated oils. Multigrain Ritz Crackerfuls are available now and come in a box of six.

NEWS: More Oreo Fudge Cremes Varieties For Those Who Like To Suffocate Their Oreos Before Eating Them

Peanut Butter Oreo Fudge Cremes

Update: Click here to read our review

If fudge dipped Oreos are your only idea of a good time, then get ready for a couple of new Oreo Fudge Cremes flavors to rock your sad, lonely world. I spotted at my local Safeway the new Peanut Butter Oreo Fudge Cremes and Golden Oreo Fudge Cremes.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Oreo Fudge Cremes, Nabisco takes one of the two chocolate cookies (or vanilla cookies) and the Oreo’s creme filling and covers the whole thing in fudge like it’s Agent Strawberry Fields in the James Bond flick Quantum of Solace.

Last year, I gave the Mint Oreo Fudge Cremes a very positive review. Back then the Oreo Fudge Cremes came in an 8.5 ounce box, but these new flavors, along with the Mint and Original, are sold in a new 11.3 ounce packaging that looks similar to what regular Oreos packaged in.

More Oreo Fudge Cremes to enjoy? It looks like my sad, lonely world is about to get rocked.

NEWS: If You Gave Up Bacon For Lent, Denny’s Maple Bacon Sundae Will Be Waiting For You On Easter Sunday

Irwindale Liar's Club/Denny's sign

I could write about the BBBLT Sandwich, the Triple Bacon Sampler, Pepper Bacon with Eggs, and Ultimate Bacon Breakfast that Denny’s is rolling out for their bacon celebration called Baconalia, but those sound boring. (Yes, Baconalia is an actual festival.) I could also talk about their slightly unusual Baconalia dishes, the Bacon Flapjacks and Bacon Meatloaf. However, as odd as those two sound, the Baconalia menu item that stands out the most is their new Maple Bacon Sundae.

The dessert, or your drunken menu choice at two in the morning, brings together the Ernie and Bert of flavors, sweet and savory, topping a scoop of vanilla ice cream with maple syrup and pieces of bacon. Even though the taste of the Jones Bacon Flavored Soda still haunts me today, I might be willing to give the Maple Bacon Sundae a try and participate in Denny’s Bacon Fest, Baconival, Bacon Fair, Baconstock, Bacon Festival, Baconpalooza, or whatever they called it.

The Maple Bacon Sundae and the other bacon dishes will only be available for a limited time at participating Denny’s restaurants.

Source: Foodbeast