Hello…there I said it. I donâ€™t like saying hello.
Iâ€™m Jeff and what I do like is food found in gas stations, imbibing copious amounts of whiskey, and wearing blazers. I also like The Impulsive Buy. I came across this site when I was trying to track down Creamiscle Oreos and discovered their review. Ever since then, I make it a daily habit of mine to check the site and brush my teeth. I am also the newest member of The Impulsive Buyâ€™s ensemble of reviewers.
I am one of sixteen people living in Central Florida who do not work for Disney or Universal.
I work in the legal realm so you can trust me because I wear a suit, a tie, and listen to smooth jazz. My writing career consists of angry drunk texting, random scrawling on bathroom stalls, and the occasional legal memorandum. I also sweat more than the average person because of my penchant for said blazers. As a child, I grew up in my familyâ€™s restaurant business so food has always been a passion of mine. I try everything at least once, except for brown rice sushi (if you eat that stuff, you are a jerk).
While other “foodies” are foraging for mushrooms or herbs in those creepy forests, I can be found at the neighborhood 7-Eleven scavenging the aisles for that elusive limited edition release. The wafts coming from a seldom cleaned bathroom at these places never discourage me. Speaking of toilets, you can be assured of one thing: I will risk a potentially horrible bowel movement just to get a review to you dear TIB Reader. Bad poops are a small price and besides I brush my teeth.
Donning shorts, a navy sports coat, and speeding at a dangerous 26 mph on my midnight blue Vespa, I am out looking for products awaiting judgment. I will be straightforward with you in my recommendations. They may not be elegant, but my reviews for TIB are going to be direct and to the point. I hope to maintain the high bar that you have all come to know from TIB. Expect me to inform you, help you, and, of course, brush my teeth. Just donâ€™t expect me to say hello.