The Impulsive Buy

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 8/8/2012

Here are some new products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. We may or may not review them, but we’d like to let you know what new items are popping up. We’ll also occasionally throw in an unusual product.

Only now Heinz has mayonnaise? I could’ve sworn I’ve eaten Heinz mayonnaise somewhere. Maybe it was in a dream? But then, why would the mayonnaise in my dream be so specific? Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me something. Perhaps it was warning me that I may face a Heinz dilemma soon. Or maybe my subconscious was craving a chicken salad sandwich.

Yes, astute shopper, there’s already a frozen CPK White Pizza. Although, that one uses the crispy thin crust, which I’m not really a fan of. This one uses their restaurant style crust. Preparing it takes significantly less time than the wait time to get a table at a CPK restaurant during lunch and dinner time.

Usually, I’m excited about new products. Sometimes too excited, according to the strange looks on the faces of my fellow grocery shoppers. However, seasoned steamed Brussels sprouts that’s prepared in a microwaveable steamer bag that has the word “NEW” on it doesn’t at all excite me. I dislike Brussels sprouts that much.

I wonder if these Marie Callender’s Comfort Bakes warm me up by giving me a hug from the inside. The flavors Savory Chicken & Rice, Mac & Cheese, and Cheddar & Bacon Potato Bake sound like they could give me temporary comfort from life’s hurdles and then back to stress and sadness after I’ve eaten it all and licked the tray clean to prolong the comfort.

I really wish the bottle said, “Horny Goat Weed with Caca.” That would’ve been a more ridiculous name. What does horny goat weed do? The first word of its name says it all. What about the maca with it? It guess it makes one hornier. Personally, I don’t need an aphrodisiac. All it takes for me is a little bit of a bra strap and collarbone and I’m good to go. Thanks for the picture, Nancy!

If you’re out shopping and see a new product on the shelf (or really unusual), snap a picture of it, email it to us at theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com with “Spotted” in the subject line, and you might see it in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

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