REVIEW: Burger King Angus Bacon & Cheese Steak Burger

Burger King Angus Bacon & Cheese Steak Burger

Honestly, there’s something slightly wrong with eating a burger whose name is a dropped letter “g” away from being called something that’s a part of my own ass.

I actually tried the original Angus Steak Burger when it first came out and I really didn’t think much of it. However, due to the influx of annoying Angus Diet advertisements I felt compelled to try it again, hoping it would please the Advertising Gods and make those commercials go away. Unfortunately, my theory didn’t work.

I think if I ate a heart attack’s worth of Angus Steak Burgers, only then would I be able to get away from those damn commercials, unless heaven has basic cable.

So what exactly is Anus…I mean Angus beef? What makes it so special?

Apparently, only 8 percent of the beef in the United States can be considered Angus beef. It’s known for it outstanding juiciness, tenderness, and flavor. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find out if the Angus beef comes from the ass of a cow, since I think that’s how Angus got its name.

Enough with the slaughterhouse lesson, let’s talk about the rest of the burger which consists of fire-grilled onions, cap leaf lettuce, red ripe tomatoes, freshly toasted corn-dusted buns, signature steak sauce, juicy bacon, and slightly melted cheese.

I don’t know whose signature is on the steak sauce, but they should definitely erase their signature, because this peppery sauce isn’t very good. Not as peppery as the Salt and Pepper Pringles Potato Chips, but it doesn’t add much to the burger. Besides, if the Angus beef is so damn good, why add some weak sauce to cover it?

Despite the sauce, the Angus Bacon and Cheese Steak Burger isn’t a bad burger. It’s big and thick, like all burgers should be and the Angus beef is actually pretty tasty, when the sauce doesn’t get in the way. The burger is kind of pricey, but I guess if you’re getting beef that consists of only 8 percent of all the beef in the U.S., there should be a premium on it.

Then again, should there really be a premium on a burger that I might accidentally (or purposely) order as the Anus Steak Burger.

Item: Burger King Angus Bacon and Cheese Steak Burger
Purchase Price: $5.39 (Value Meal)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Big, thick burger. Angus beef.
Cons: Signature steak sauce isn’t very good. A little expensive. I wish they would change the name, because I don’t like the images of shaking cow butts in my head.

REVIEW: Ice Breakers Liquid Ice

Liquid Ice

Erin, a loyal Impulsive Buy reader / stalker / groupie, sent me an email asking if I was going to do a review on the Ice Breakers Liquid Ice. I told her that I would, but I wasn’t able to find any. I didn’t find it at the national grocery store chain or at the national convenience store chain I shop at. I emailed her back and told her about my dilemma.

She sent me another email and told me she would send some from Seattle.

Wow! Who would have thought running a quasi-review website would actually land me free stuff?

So the package with the Ice Breakers Liquid Ice came to The Impulsive Buy Laboratories the other day and the first thing I noticed was how small the Liquid Ice were. They were these tiny blue balls and when you suck on them, they eventually burst and all the liquid minty goodness comes out.

The problem with the blue balls is that if you suck on them it takes awhile for the goodness to come out and that can be damn frustrating. However, if you lightly bite the blue balls, things happen much quicker.

When the blue balls finally burst, it was pretty disappointing, despite all the pent up blue balls excitement I had. In my opinion, sucking on something else will get you better results, perhaps an Altoids or a breath strip.

You know how Altoids and breath strips seem to clear your nasal passages when you suck on them, I didn’t get this feeling with the Liquid Ice.

Also, the minty flavor from the Liquid Ice doesn’t seem to last very long in my mouth compared to its competitors.

Now some of you may be wondering, if the blue balls melt in your mouth, does it melt in your hand? Well I decided to figure that out with help from The Impulsive Buy Intern.

So I put two blue balls in the intern’s hand, so the intern could just hold them and get a feel for them. After a couple of minutes, nothing happened. I then told the intern to gently roll around the two blue balls with both hands. For a while nothing happened, so I told the intern to roll the blue balls a little faster and seconds later they burst, spraying its goodness into the intern’s hands and some on the intern’s blue lab coat.

I think the Ice Breakers Liquid Ice is a clever idea. It is definitely something different than the usual mints and breath strips. However, if you want fresh breath that lasts, mints and breath strips will do a much better job.

I guess the tiny blue balls left me a little frustrated.


Item: Ice Breakers Liquid Ice
Purchase Price: $1.77
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Compact packaging. Clever concept. Tiny blue balls.
Cons: Not much of a minty punch compared to mints and breath strips.

REVIEW: Oral-B Brush-Ups

Oral-B Brush Ups

Ever brush your teeth with your finger?

I have several times after waking up next to some girl I don’t even know and let me tell you, it really doesn’t work very well. You end up with toothpaste under your nail and you don’t get consistent toothpaste foaming. Sure I could use the girl’s toothbrush, but I don’t know where her mouth has been. Okay, I know where her mouth was several hours ago, but before that, I don’t know.

Thank oral hygiene for Oral-B Brush-Ups, which could eliminate those uncomfortable situations.

Oral-B calls their Brush-Ups “textured teeth wipes,” which are used to clean teeth and freshen breath. Don’t we have too many ways to freshen our breath? Let’s see, there’s gum, mints, and breath strips. Now we have teeth wipes. I think we’ve reached the point where we need another breath freshener, like we need another hole in our head or another Bush in office.

Wouldn’t it be easier to just pop a mint or chew some gum?

I guess it might be good for those people who brush their teeth at work and are afraid that co-workers might mess with their toothbrush in ways that I could only imagine in my demented, evil head.

So how to they work?

Each Brush-Up is individually wrapped and basically it’s a sleeve that you slide over your finger. The textured side has all the minty goodness, while the opposite side is where you slide your finger. I had some trouble getting it on my pointer finger, which isn’t very big. So if you’ve got big fingers, you might have trouble putting it on.

After sliding it on, I began to wipe my teeth, gums, and tongue, like they suggest on the package. While wiping my teeth, it brought back memories of all those nights with strange women I don’t even remember the names of. Well I’m sure they don’t remember mine, or they chose to forget.

When I was done, I just threw it away, like the phone numbers of those nameless women. Oral-B claims that a special moisture shield helps keep fingers dry, but my finger did get quite moist.

To be honest, the Brush-Ups made my mouth feel like they’ve been sort of brushed. I have a minty taste in my mouth, but I think if you wanted to freshen your breath, some gum, a mint, or a breath strip will do a much better job.

I wouldn’t recommend the Oral-B Brush-Ups to be a replacement for regular brushing. However, they do come in handy in certain situation, like waking up in the apartment of some girl I met less than eight hours ago.

Item: Oral-B Brush-Ups
Purchase Price: $3.49 (12 pack)
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Clever idea. Perfect for those times when you wake up at some strange girl’s place.
Cons: If you want to freshen your breath it’s easier to chew gum or pop a mint or breath strip in your mouth. If you have big fingers, you’re going to have a big problem getting a Brush-Ups on.