REVIEW: Cough Drop Kit Kat (Japan)

Cough Drop Kit Kat

If I ever need a cough drop to soothe my throat because I cheered loudly when my favorite team scored a touchdown/run/goal/basket/eight-ender or because I screamed, “WHAAAAAT!?” after learning about a cough drop-flavored candy bar, the Cough Drop Kit Kat will not be of any help.

The odd, new confection from Japan is called Kit Kat Nodo Ame Aji, which translates to Kit Kat Cough Drop Flavor. The candy gets its lozengeness from ground cough drop powder that’s been added to the white chocolate.

As you can see below, the pack I bought from eBay didn’t do well during its two-week inter-Pacific trek from Japan. The iconic Kit Kat fingers are almost indistinguishable and the white chocolate looks as if it was melted throughout most of its journey. While it looks like congealed bacon grease logs, the white chocolate has a pleasant peppermint-like aroma. But once I broke off a piece of that Kit Kat bar, an odd stale aroma made its way up my nose, which worried me.

Cough Drop Kit Kat 2

The candy tastes like a generic menthol cough drop, and at times it reminds me of a York Peppermint Pattie, but it’s mild. There’s even a slight cooling sensation, which brought a “Holy crap! That’s awesome!” smile to my face. It’s not even close to being nostril clearing or throat soothing as an actual cough drop, so I’m 99.9 percent sure it won’t help after being hoarse from cheering on an eight-ender.

But while tasting it, I began to wonder if being locked up for thousands of miles on a boat affected its flavor because there were brief moments when my taste buds noticed a harsh flavor that I’ve only experienced when accidentally biting into stale foods. (It happens to me more than you’d think. I don’t read IKEA instructions or check my foods to see if they’re stale.) But I can’t help but think it’s part of the cough drop flavor, because, you know, Japan.

If the Kit Kat had a menthol flavor with a cooling sensation, I’d be into that kinky culinary combo, but that stale flavor, even though it’s very mild and fleeting, gives me pause.

Having tried dozens of odd Japanese Kit Kat flavors, like wasabi, soy sauce, butter, and ginger, I have to say Kit Kat Nodo Ame Aji is the least pleasing Japanese Kit Kat I’ve ever tasted.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 bar – 65 kcal, 0.41 grams of protein, 3.7 grams of fat, 7.4 grams of carbohydrates, and 2-7 milligrams of sodium.)

Purchased Price: $5.99*
Size: 3-pack
Purchased at: eBay
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Another weird Kit Kat flavor from Japan. At times, it tastes like a York Peppermint Pattie. Cooling sensation is neat.
Cons: Weird stale flavor. Sending chocolate via slow mail.

*Bought it on eBay from a seller in Japan. It costs much less in the store.

REVIEW: Red Velvet Kit Kat Miniatures

Red Velvet Kit Kat Miniatures

There are two things that strike me as odd about these new Red Velvet Kit Kat bars.

The first is that they are white, without a hint of red, even though red is literally in their name. I guess red velvet has moved beyond being associated with Valentine’s Day for its color, and now it’s the flavor that’s iconic. I’m fine with that, especially since in this case it means there’s no artificial coloring.

Red Velvet Kit Kat Miniatures 2

Red Velvet Kit Kat Miniatures 3

The second thing is that red velvet is even a flavor for this and other candies. I’ve had many red velvet cakes and cupcakes, but I still don’t know what its flavor is. I mean, I know it’s a cake made with buttermilk and a small amount of cocoa, but what does that even taste like? And how can it come across in an item that doesn’t list buttermilk in its ingredients?

But when I open up the fragrant bag, and look at the pale coating, I get it:

Red velvet cakes are always topped with cream cheese frosting. And these are not really Red Velvet Kit Kats, but rather Cream Cheese Frosting Kit Kats. I think it’s pretty self-explanatory why they didn’t call them that.

Red Velvet Kit Kat Miniatures 4

The bag smells strongly of cream cheese. The inside of the bars is just the same as Milk Chocolate Kit Kats, but the outside coating is definitely reminiscent of cream cheese, even though there’s no cheese in the ingredients. I actually expected it to taste a lot more fake than it does. But it’s also kind of off-putting at first. A cheesy tang is not what I anticipate when I eat Kit Kats.

You know what? I wasn’t really a fan of these at first. But as I’ve eaten more, I’ve come to enjoy them. Initially I liked them less than regular Kit Kats, but now I don’t think they’re worse than the regular ones. They’re just different. These are more flavorful than plain ol’ Milk Chocolate Kit Kats, for better or for worse. I love cream cheese frosting, but if that’s not your thing, you probably won’t like Red Velvet Kit Kats.

I was going to rate these six, but I’m giving them a seven. They’ve grown on me.

(Nutrition Facts – 5 pieces – 220 calories, 100 calories from fat, 12 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.59
Size: 10 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Flavor grew on me. Tastes like cream cheese frosting. No artificial coloring.
Cons: Cheesy tang is not what you expect from Kit Kats. No buttermilk, unlike a real red velvet cake.

REVIEW: Nestle Soy Sauce Kit Kat

DISGRACE!

I demand the limited edition Japanese Soy Sauce Kit Kat commit seppuku right now, because it’s nothing like what I expected.

What did I expect?

I thought the whole Soy Sauce Kit Kat was going to come in the color of death, much like actual soy sauce. I’m not talking about just black or the color of eyeliner around Pete Wentz’s eyes, I’m talking about a black so dark that it’s only found in black holes and in the chest cavity of those who kill kittens and puppies for pleasure.

I wanted it to be so black that if I were to touch it, I would either wither and turn into a pile of dust or my fingers would end up in an alternate universe where dinosaurs still roam the lands and Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt have their own reality show called Survivor: Heidi and Spencer Trapped on an Island Forever With Hungry Dinosaurs.

Instead it has a white chocolate exterior and a tan wafer interior.

While the Soy Sauce Kit Kat didn’t come in a color that was blacker than the void where Simon Cowell’s heart is supposed to be, I thought it was going to have a strong salty soy sauce flavor that’s so real that I would want to melt each Kit Kat finger down to liquid form and dip my spicy tuna roll or salmon nigirizushi into it. But the Soy Sauce Kit Kat doesn’t have a hint of soy sauce flavor, instead it has a strong maple syrup scent and taste.

WTF, Japan!

I expected, nay, I wanted to be disgusted by this flavor of Kit Kat. I also wanted to brag about how I was man enough to consume a salty, black Kit Kat that made my saliva glands close shut by getting a t-shirt that said, “I Survived a Soy Sauce Kit Kat.” But no, Nestle, the makers of Kit Kat in Japan had to rain on my parade and sic Godzilla on my floral floats and marching bands.

Now I’m stuck with a box of delicious tasting, crispy, maple syrup-flavored, white chocolate Kit Kat, which is the complete opposite of what I wanted. The only thing that kind of disgusted me was the unusually long length of time the maple syrup flavor lingered in my mouth, but it didn’t make me gag like a salty soy sauce flavored candy would’ve.

What are those crazy bastards in Japan going to do to mess with my taste buds next time? A Natto (fermented soybeans) Kit Kat that tastes like cotton candy? A Seaweed Kit Kat with a caramel flavor?

DISGRACE!

(Note: The AV Club reviewed these last year.)

Item: Nestle Soy Sauce Kit Kat
Price: FREE
Size: 12-pack
Purchased at: Received from parents
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Nice maple syrup flavor. Crispy. Heidi and Spencer being eaten by dinosaurs. The variety of Kit Kat flavors in Japan. Being able to say I ate something disgusting.
Cons: Doesn’t have a hint of soy sauce flavor. Doesn’t come in the color of death. Fingers are smaller than regular sized Kit Kat. Hard to find outside of Japan. The maple syrup flavor lingered in my mouth longer than I wanted it to. Limited edition. Having your parade attacked by Godzilla.

REVIEW: Green Tea (Matcha) Kit Kat (Japan)

Is there anything the Japanese won’t use as a flavor for their Kit Kats? Holy cow! And just to let you know, I didn’t type “holy cow” as an exclamation, I typed that because it is probably the next Japanese Kit Kat flavor. Mmm…Beef Kit Kat. You think I’m kidding? This is the country that sells used schoolgirl panties in VENDING MACHINES! If they’re capable of that, then they’re also capable of making a carcass-flavored Kit Kat that you can break apart and share with your friends so they can gag along with you and hold back your hair if you throw up.

I could list all the Japanese Kit Kat flavors that ever existed, but that would be as exciting as watching C-SPAN tally the congressional votes for an amendment to agree to making an amendment to an amendment, but to give you an idea of how low they’re scraping the bottom of the barrel, there’s a soy sauce Kit Kat. Of course, Nestle Japan has also produced normal-sounding flavors, like banana and caramel, but usually it’s quirky shit, like this Green Tea (Matcha) Kit Kat.

The Green Tea Kit Kat comes in a color that looks like it’s been hit with a ton of gamma rays, because it’s Incredible Hulk green. Depending on whether or not you’ve had green tea or green tea flavored products before, the Green Tea Kit Kat can either be 2003-Hulk-movie-mediocre or 2008-The-Incredible-Hulk-movie-good. If you’ve never had green tea, this Kit Kat’s slightly bitter, but mostly sweet taste might be a little off-putting.

It basically consisted of white chocolate with green tea flavoring and it tastes similar to green tea ice cream. What’s on the outside and its flavor may seem unusual to most, but the wafers inside were crispy like any other Kit Kat. I personally really enjoyed the Green Tea Kit Kat and I’m hoping to get my hands on more, so it looks like I’ll be asking for partial payment in Green Tea Kit Kats whenever I offer my body company to lonely, middle-aged female Japanese tourists in Waikiki.

(Editor’s Note: Cybele at the Candy Blog reviewed these a few years ago back when fo’ shizzle was actually hip to say.)

Item: Green Tea (Matcha) Kit Kat
Price: FREE
Purchased at: Someplace in Japan
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Very enjoyable. Green tea flavor reminds me of green tea ice cream. Crispy wafers. Possibly getting paid in Green Tea Kit Kats. 2008 The Incredible Hulk movie.
Cons: If you don’t like green tea, you won’t like these. Slightly bitter taste maybe off-putting. Hard to find, unless you’re in Japan or have a kick ass Japanese market in your town. Watching C-SPAN vote tallies. 2003 Hulk movie.