REVIEW: Doritos Tapatio and Ruffles Tapatio Limon

Doritos Tapatio and Ruffles Tapatio Limon

Oh, Tapati­o Man on the hot sauce label. We’ve been flirting with each other for years. Don’t try to deny it; every time we meet, you’re wearing your best mustard-colored jacket and jaunty red…ascot thing. Don’t even get me started on that impossibly wide sombrero that appears to have the circumference of an ancient Redwood. And above your ecstatic smile, that immaculate mustache that just screams, “Wanna ride?”

Yes, we’ve been meeting up for lunch for years now. Maybe it’s over burgers or pasta. You’ve saved countless pizza crusts from being thrown away when we had a three-way with some ranch dressing. It’s an open relationship; I’ve been with other hot sauces. But when I’m drunk and it’s 3 am, you’re always my booty call of choice.

Tapati­o Man is free to see other foods, too, which is why I wasn’t offended when I found out he’s been hanging with three new Frito-Lay products: Fritos Tapati­o, Doritos Tapati­o and Ruffles Tapati­o Limon. I’ve already checked out how Fritos and Tapati­o work together, which will actually help this review, because Fritos are the only chip that went straight Tapati­o on yo’ ass. The Doritos have a Nacho Cheese base, and the Ruffles get hot and heavy with Tapati­o and Limon. Two accented letters in one chip name, that’s serious business. That’s c/p into a Notepad file so I don’t have to reference the char map 1700 times business.

Tapati­o Man is cool, so he let me get in on this action. I can tell because he’s staring right into my eyes from the packages, giving me that smile that says…

Wait a second, what’s this?

Doritos Tapatio Man

WHO ARE YOU LOOKING AT FROM THE DORITOS PACKAGE, TAPATiO MAN? WHO ARE YOU FLASHING YOUR PEARLY WHITES AT, JUST TO THE RIGHT OF ME?!

Okay, so I still have some jealousy issues. Seriously though, what is up with that? On the original hot sauce label (yes, I actually do have a bottle of Tapati­o on hand at all times, I’m not frontin’) he’s staring straight ahead, just like on the Ruffles bag. Why are his eyes askew on the Doritos bag? Printing error? Were people in the Doritos focus group intimidated by Tapati­o Man’s ability to see into your soul, so they averted his eyes? I love a good food packaging mystery. Can’t dwell on it forever though; let’s take a mustache ride straight to Sabritastown.

Doritos Tapati­o

Doritos Tapatio

At first glance, Tapati­o Doritos look angry. Angry like, I will make you regret eating these when you wake up at 3 am and have to run to the bathroom angry. Fortunately, their bark is worse than their bite. Oh yeah, there’s some heat there, but it’s not out of control. I’ve had Doritos 3rd Degree Burn Scorchin’ Habanero, and those are hot. Tapati­o Doritos bring a good amount of heat, but not enough to make steam come out of your ears. Assuming you’re a cartoon character.

You can definitely taste the nacho cheese base, which works well with the spicy heat of the Tapati­o powder, which, by the way, will stain your fingers so that everyone knows you’ve been eating red-colored chips. My problem with these chips, however, is that they don’t really taste like Tapati­o. I’ve never tried Flamin’ Hot Doritos, but now I wish I had, because I have a sneaking suspicion they would have tasted remarkably similar to Tapati­o Doritos. They just lack that distinct flavor that I love so much in the hot sauce. They could have been called Extra Spicy Nacho Cheese and I would have nodded and said, “Yep, that’s it.”

Ruffles Tapati­o Limon

Ruffles Tapatio Limon

Doritos just gets a picture of a bottle of Tapati­o on its bag, but Ruffles gets a full makeover, running wild with blue and orange and wavy borders and everything. This may seem unusual for Ruffles, but you have to remember that the Tapati­o line of chips also falls under the Sabritas line, which is what I guess you could call a subsidiary of Frito-Lay. I know, it’s confusing. Just know that Sabritas aims at the Mexican market, so they do things a little differently. The Tapati­o Ruffles bag is designed just like the Sabritas Ruffles Queso bag, which you can see here, complete with words you probably don’t understand and some confusing but entertaining spy music. Dios Mio!

Ruffles Tapati­o Limon’s twist is obviously the limon, which I figured meant lime (what with the slice of lime on the bag and all), but Google Translate says means lemon. Maybe they’re Sprite flavored! No wait, that’s lymon. Nevermind.

One of my favoritest snack foods is Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Limon. Unfortunately, that same twang that works on the Cheetos doesn’t seem to work well on Ruffles. There seems to be a little less heat on these chips than were on the Doritos, but it’s impossible to tell if it has true Tapati­o flavor because the limon is too overpowering. The citrus flavor puckered my mouth, which is fine if I’m challenging my palate by sucking on an Extreme Sour Warhead, but not when I’m eating a potato chip.

It’s difficult to rate Doritos Tapati­o. On the one hand, it works perfectly well as a spicy, cheese tortilla chip. On the other hand, that heat is supposed to come in the form of Tapati­o hot sauce flavoring, and I can’t really say it delivers on that point, so they technically failed, which is ultimately how I have to judge them. Ruffles Tapati­o Limon are easier to pass judgment on; I had high hopes for them, but instead of a spicy Tapati­o-flavored chip with a hint of limon, I got an overly citrus-flavored potato chip with a little heat on it. I don’t mind Tapati­o Man hanging out with other foods, but I wish he’d pick better company.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – Doritos Tapati­o – 1 ounce, 140 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 170 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 3 grams of sugars, 2 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 0% calcium, 0% vitamin C, 2% iron, 2% Thiamin, 2% vitamin B6. Ruffles Tapati­o Limon – 160 calories, 90 calories from fat, 10 grams of total fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 320 milligrams of potassium, 15 grams of total carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 1 grams of sugars, 2 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 0% calcium, 10% vitamin C, 2% iron, 4% Thiamin, 8% vitamin B6, 6% vitamin E, 4% niacin.)

Item: Doritos Tapati­o and Ruffles Tapati­o Limon
Price: $0.99 each
Size: 2 1/8 ounces (Doritos Tapati­o)
Size: 1 3/4 ounces ( Ruffles Tapati­o Limon)
Purchased at: Circle K
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Doritos Tapati­o)
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Ruffles Tapati­o Limon)
Pros: Doritos had a nice cheese/heat combination. Tapati­o Man and his sexy mustard jacket. Ruffles had okay heat. Mustache rides.
Cons: Ruffles had overpowering citrus flavor. Red flavor powder staining fingers. Couldn’t detect any real Tapati­o flavor. Tapati­o Man making bad partnership choices.

NEWS: Tapatio-Flavored Doritos, Fritos and Ruffles Make Me Yearn For Sriracha-Flavored Doritos, Fritos and Ruffles

Strange Mix

Update: Click here to read out Doritos Tapatío and Ruffles Tapatío Limon review

I don’t frequent Mexican restaurants as much as I visit Taco Bell, but whenever I do, there’s almost always a bottle of Tapatío hot sauce on the table. Some call it hot sauce, but I call it Mexican ketchup because I like to put it on everything when I’m eating Mexican. I’ve had significantly hotter sauces, but the mild kick and flavor of Tapatío keeps me coming back to it.

The folks at Frito-Lay and the folks at Tapatio have come together to release Tapatio hot sauce-flavored Doritos tortilla chips, Fritos corn chips, and Ruffles potato chips. All three chips are made using the same ingredients found in the original Tapatío hot sauce recipe — red chili peppers, spices, and a hint of garlic. The flavor of Tapatío will be add to Doritos Nacho Cheese flavored chips to create Doritos Tapatío; a hint of lime will be combined with Tapatío to make Ruffles Tapatío Limon; and Fritos Tapatío just gets slapped with the sauce.

An ounce of Fritos Tapatío Flavored Corn Chips has 140 calorias, 8 grams of grasa, 1 gram of grasa saturada, 0 grams of grasa trans, 5 grams of grasa poliinsaturada, 2.5 grams of grasa monoinsaturada, 160 milligrams of sodio, and 15 grams of carbohidratos. An ounce of Ruffles Tapatío Limon contains 160 calorias, 10 grams of grasa, 1 gram of grasa saturada, 0 grams of grasa trans, 2.5 grams of grasa poliinsaturada, 5 grams of grasa monoinsaturada, 190 milligrams of sodio, and 15 grams of carbohidratos.

The Tapatio-flavored chips will be available later this month at grocery and convenient stores throughout the western and central areas of the U.S. Small bags will retail for 99 cents, while large bags will retail for $2.99.

REVIEW: Doritos Pizza Supreme

Doritos Pizza Supreme

Do you want a friend to punch you in the face?

The first thing you’re going to have to do is plan a day long hiking trip and invite your friend to come along. It should be a long and physically punishing hike. It should also be far away from civilization and involve either a raging river, steep cliffs or wildlife that could kill you. Tell your friend that you’ll be driving and responsible for packing and carrying the food and water on the hike. Pack a few bottles of water and finger food snacks, like granola, fruits, carrot sticks, raw meat and other foods you normally wouldn’t eat.

When you’re on the hike, stop for occasional water breaks. If your friend wants to eat, tell him or her that they should wait until they get to a good place to rest and that there’s one up ahead. After 15 minutes have gone by and your friend asks, “Are we there yet?”, say that it’s just around the corner. At this point, keep an eye out for a raging river, steep cliffs, or a bear. After 30 minutes have passed and your friend asks, “Are we fucking there yet?”, tell your friend not yet. Continue to look out for a raging river, steep cliff, or a creature that could maul you. When you do end up next to a river, next to a cliff or in the view of a wild animal, tell your friend that the two of you should stop to take a break.

This next part is essential if you want your friend to punch you in the face, and what you do depends on whether you’re next to a river, steep cliff or wild beast who could eat you for dinner. If you’re next to a river, pretend to trip and fall, drop the food into the river and yell, “Aaack, the food fell into the river and it’s being taken away by the current!” If you’re next to a steep cliff, pretend to trip and fall, drop the food over the edge of the cliff, and yell, “Aaack, the food fell over the edge and I can’t get to it!” If you’re near a wild deadly animal, point at the beast, throw the food at it, and yell, “Aaack, (insert beast type here)! I threw our food at it. We should run away while it’s distracted.”

Then you and your friend should run back to your car. Make sure neither of you gets captured and eaten by the wild animal, or everything would’ve been in vain. When back in your car, begin the long drive home. By now, your friend will be hungry and tired and will tell you to stop somewhere for food, but tell your friend you’re craving pizza and will order one and have it delivered when the two of you get back.

If possible, try to get pulled over by the police for speeding.

When the two of you get back of your place, pretend to order a pizza without having to make an actual call, then tell your friend that the pizza place will deliver it in 30 minutes.

After 30 minutes have passed by and you friend asks, “Where’s the pizza?”, say it should be here any minute. After 45 minutes have passed and your friend asks, “Where’s the fucking pizza?”, pretend to look agitated and then pick up your phone and pretend to call the pizza place. While on the phone, nod your head a few times, say “It better get here soon” and then hang up. By the time one hour passes, your friend should be extremely hungry, tired and grumpy, so tell your friend that you’ll wait outside for the pizza delivery person. When you get outside, yell “Finally, it’s about time. I should get a free pizza for this.” Then open the door, look back like you’re talking to a delivery person and say, “The only tip I’m going to give you is to not take so damn long to deliver a pizza.” Then slam the door behind you.

Then grab a bag of Doritos Pizza Supreme, run towards your friend, and throw the bag at your friend’s face while yelling, “It’s not delivery. It’s Doritos. And your mom is a whore!”

If this doesn’t get your friend to punch you in the face, I don’t know what will.

Doritos Pizza Supreme Naked

The flavor of the Doritos Pizza Supreme is supposed to be complex like the 700-plus word instructions for a sociological Rube Goldberg machine that you just read. According to Frito-Lay, thanks to their “Flavor Plus” technology, we’re supposed to be able to taste every ingredient found on a supreme pizza, which usually includes, sausage, pepperoni, bell peppers, mushrooms, onions and olives.

While my taste buds had trouble picking out each component found on a supreme pizza, as a whole, the Doritos Pizza Supreme did taste like a supreme pizza and I enjoyed them. Although, I had my doubts because when I opened the bag it smelled like a Totino’s Pepperoni Party Pizza. Besides the flavor, everything else about these chips are typical of most Doritos: the crunch, the triangular shape of each chip and the cheesy powder that gets stuck to your fingers, like iron shavings on a magnet.

Currently, the Doritos Pizza Supreme is only available for a limited time, but I hope they’re successful enough that they become a permanent flavor, because I like them. I also hope Doritos continues to make more chips that taste like greasy fast food, because they seem to be adept at it. I don’t know how Frito-Lay’s “Flavor Plus” technology works, but I bet it’s as complex as trying to get a friend to punch you in the face, Rube Goldberg-style.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 package – 240 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 7 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 3 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 290 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A and 2% iron.)

Item: Doritos Pizza Supreme
Price: $1.09
Size: 1.75 ounces
Purchased at: Subway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: It tastes like a supreme pizza. Tasty. Getting a friend to punch you in the face Rube Goldberg-style. Crunchy. 7 grams of polyunsaturated fat. Leaves cheesy residue on fingers. Frito-Lay’s Flavor Plus technology. Getting to say, “It’s not delivery. It’s Doritos.”
Cons: Smells like Totino’s Pepperoni Party Pizza. Couldn’t pick out every single ingredient found on a supreme pizza. Contains MSG. Available for a limited time.

NEWS: Trick Friends Into Thinking You’ll Have Awesome Food At Your Super Bowl Party With New Ruffles Molten Hot Wings and Pizza Supreme Doritos

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Update: Click here to read our Doritos Pizza Supreme review.

Update 2: Click here to read out Ruffles Molten Hot Wings and Loaded Chili & Cheese review.

No one wants to come to your Super Bowl party because your 32-inch high-def television is too small for the big game? You could spend $2,000 to buy a bigger HDTV or you could promise to cook food that’ll compensate for your television’s size.

Don’t have $2,000 or the ability to cook?

Well, don’t worry. Just tell your friends you’ll be serving up hot wings, chili & cheese and supreme pizza at your Super Bowl party. After they all arrive, chain the doors so no one can leave, open up bags of the new Ruffles Molten Hot Wings, Ruffles Loaded Chili & Cheese, and Doritos Pizza Supreme, and then shout “Bon Appetit!”

The new Ruffles flavors still have ridges and the Doritos Pizza Supreme uses the same technology Frito-Lay used to create the eerily accurate Madden-Inspired Doritos flavors to help create a Doritos chip that allows us to taste the different ingredients found on a supreme pizza.

Yay, technology!

The new Ruffles flavors have 160 calories, 10 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 2.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 170-180 milligrams of sodium, 15-16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of sugar, 1 gram of fiber and 2 grams of protein.

Source: Frito-Lay Snack Chat Blog

NEWS: Doritos Releases Limited Edition Taco Flavor In Retro Bag That’s From A Time In Your Life When You Could Eat Doritos and Not Worry About Getting Fat

chips

For those of you who follow snack news religiously, the Limited Edition Taco Flavor Doritos is old news since it was released last month. But I only heard about them the other day. Despite it being slightly old news, I decided to post something about it because, to be honest, I really wanted to write the title above.

If you’re a snack historian, you’ll know the Taco Flavor was the second Doritos flavor ever after Toasted Corn, and although I am old enough to have eaten them, I only remember eating the Toasted Corn Doritos. Eventually, the Taco Flavor went away.

The Limited Edition Taco Flavor Doritos follows what Pepsi has done with their Throwback Pepsi and Mountain Dew issues, which is to release them in packaging similar to the original. So if you want to trick your friends into thinking you’re eating something out of a time capsule, now would be the time.

The Limited Edition Taco Flavor Doritos retail for $3.99.

REVIEW: Madden ’11 Inspired Doritos (Stadium Nacho & Tailgater BBQ)

I’m amazed with what Doritos is capable of doing with their tortilla chips. They do some crazy magic with seasonings and monosodium glutamate. Mountain Dew-flavored chips…BOOM! Fast food taco-flavored chips…KAPOW! Cheeseburger-flavored chips…(insert here favorite onomatopoeia used during the fight scenes in the 1960s Batman TV series)!

The only way I can imagine they came up with such flavors is by snorting monosodium glutamate through a hollowed out Cheetos puff off of the gut of a future Biggest Loser contestant to stimulate the right side of their brain.

While the folks at Doritos would never admit to using MSG like Jim Morrison used heroin to create music, Ernest Hemingway used alcohol to write prose and Phil Collins used baldness to come up with his song “Sussudio,” they have admitted their newest flavors, Tailgater BBQ and Stadium Nacho, were inspired by the football video game Madden ’11.

For those of you who have never played a minute of Madden in its 22-year history, it allows football fans to control any NFL team, and depending on what level of difficulty one sets the game at, they can make the impossible possible, like having the Kansas City Chiefs win the Super Bowl by beating their opponent 259-0 with their third string quarterback. Of course, one of the downsides of playing Madden is having the voices of either John Madden or Cris Collinsworth haunt your dreams by repeating the same color commentary over and over again, especially Madden’s “BOOM!” which has been known to spoil lovemaking sessions.

While the unusual flavors Doritos creates are awe-inspiring, what’s even more impressive is how accurate those unusual flavors are compared with the real thing. Their Doritos Late Night Cheeseburger tastes like cheeseburgers, their Doritos Late Night Tacos tastes like fast food tacos and the Tailgater BBQ and Stadium Nacho are supposed to taste like barbeque pork and nachos with jalapenos, respectively.

Because I’ve read previous reviews of the Tailgater BBQ, I knew I should expect a barbeque pork flavor, but for unsuspecting folks, its flavor will be kind of a mindfuck. The chip starts off with a sweet barbeque flavor that’s similar to barbeque Lay’s potato chips, and then the smoky pork flavor hits the tongue. At first, I thought the greasy pork flavor seemed a bit odd to have with a chip and it slightly grossed me out, but after eating a bit more, I got used to the flavor..a little. I kind of like Tailgater BBQ, but I don’t think I can eat too much of it in one sitting because I’m afraid its greasy pork flavor will eventually freak out my taste buds.

The Stadium Nacho flavor is definitely my favorite of the two Madden ’11 Inspired Flavors, even though it’s just another addition to the long line of cheesy Doritos flavors. But that’s probably a good thing because while the folks at Doritos do a good job of creating chips that taste like meat, they do a much better job at develop cheesy-flavored chips. The Stadium Nacho has a nacho cheese sauce flavor that would make Taco Bell proud, and then make them check to see if any of their nacho cheese sauce patents were violated because the chips taste almost exactly like Taco Bell’s nacho cheese sauce. But what makes the Stadium Nacho tasty in my mind is the mild jalapeno flavor, which also gives the chips a very, very slight kick.

Since a new version of Madden is released every year, I’d like to see Doritos comes up with flavors inspired by Madden ’12. I’m hoping after the people at Doritos snort monosodium glutamate through a hollowed out Cheetos puff off of the gut of a future Biggest Loser contestant they’ll come up with hot dog or beer-flavored Doritos.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce – Stadium Nachos – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 220 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 0 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein and 2% vitamin A. Tailgater BBQ – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 2% vitamin B6 and 2% magnesium.)

Item: Madden ’11 Inspired Doritos (Stadium Nacho & Tailgater BBQ)
Price: $2.98 each
Size: 11.5 ounces
Purchased at: The Blue Store That Makes Kmart Look Slightly Better
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Tailgater BBQ)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Stadium Nacho)
Pros: Accurate flavors. Stadium Nacho was tasty thanks to Taco Bell-ish nacho cheese sauce flavor and jalapeno flavor. Inventive Doritos flavors. 1960s Batman TV show. Winning the Super Bowl in Madden using the easy level of difficulty.
Cons: Tailgater BBQ’s pork flavor can seem a little weird. Contains MSG. Having John Madden saying “BOOM!” over and over again in your dreams. Trying to hollow out a Cheetos puff. Snorting MSG.