REVIEW: Nabisco S’mores Chips Ahoy Cookies

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy Cookies

Ahoy-hoy!

It is believed s’mores were invented in 1927. Chips Ahoy (!) first hit shelves in 1963. We had to wait ’til 2016 for the first collaboration. What took so long?

Just in case you live under a rock that rests under a boulder and don’t know what’s in a s’more, please allow Hamilton “The Great Hambino” Porter from The Sandlot to explain the recipe:

“First you take the graham. You stick the chocolate on the graham. Then, you roast the mallow. Once the mallow’s flaming, you stick it on the chocolate. Then, you cover it with the other end.”

Graham. Chocolate. Marshmallow. Simple as the simplest of pies.

So, after 53 years in the making, do S’mores Chips Ahoy stack up to the classic campfire staple? The better question would be, is “s’more” the singular or is it always “s’mores”? Inquiring minds (me) would like to know.

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy Cookies 2

Nabisco claims their new S’mores Chips Ahoy cookies contain choco and marshmallow flavored chips. Despite no hint on the packaging, they seem to have tweaked their classic cookie recipe to make it taste like a graham cracker. I think. I’ll get back to that.

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy Cookies 3

Each cookie has standard chocolate chips and a chocolate center, which instantly put me in mind of the brownie-flavored Chips Ahoy put out recently. From memory, the taste was almost identical.

I tried my best to dissect the cookie and eat a white chip by itself. They’re supposedly “marshmallow flavored” but they just tasted like indistinguishable vanilla chips. Marshmallow flavor only goes so far, you really need the texture to go along with it. That was definitely the most disappointing part.

These cookies really just taste like a regular Chewy Chips Ahoy with extra chocolate. They are a campfire misfire! The middle should have been marshmallow. I don’t understand why they didn’t go that route. Why skimp on arguably the most important detail? You’re killing me, Smalls!

What about the graham?

Each cookie has a tinge of cinnamon, which I assume was their attempt to mock the graham flavor. I had to eat a few and really think about whether or not I tasted it before I read the ingredient list to confirm my cinnamon suspicions.

A crunchy graham cracker is the foundation of a great s’more. Sure, they’re a pain in the neck to eat, but not having one is akin to making a BLT with a pickle instead of a tomato. No one’s ever heard of a BLP!

That actually sounds kinda good. Scratch that from the record. Still, without a tasty graham, you’re only two-thirds of the way to a s’more.

You’ll never hear me say what I’m about to say again. I wish these were regular crunchy Chips Ahoy. I’m of the opinion that since the advent of the chewy variety, the blue bag has been rendered pointless, but when we’re talking s’mores, I need a crunch substitute for the graham cracker.

Nabisco S'mores Chips Ahoy Cookies 4

The package advises to pop these in the microwave for ten seconds. While they didn’t get super gooey or “s’morsey,” they did taste a bit better. But again, it was just a warm Chewy Chips Ahoy.

I don’t think you’d ever in a million years guess the flavor of this cookie without a hint. They don’t look like a s’more, they don’t smell like a s’more (but they still smell delicious), and they don’t taste like a s’more.

I’ve whined a lot, but in the end these taste like a Chewy Chips Ahoy, and I like Chewy Chips Ahoy.

They still go down easy, but if you’re expecting that classic s’mores flavor, tough break.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 Cookies – 140 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 13 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein..)

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 9.6 oz.
Purchased at: Stop & Shop
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Chewy Chips Ahoy are a solid cookie. Chocolate center is fine. Even though they don’t smell like s’mores, they smell delicious. Cinnamon Suspicions is a good band name. The Sandlot. BLPs.
Cons: Tastes like previous flavors. Marshmallow chips don’t taste or feel like marshmallow. Needs s’more graham. In no way, shape, or form a s’more. Punctuation in product names.

REVIEW: Chips Ahoy Soft Chunky Original Cookies

Chips Ahoy Soft Chunky Original Cookies

When I first saw these new Chips Ahoy Soft Chunky Original Cookies, I experienced junk food deja vu.

It turns out, even though the word “New” is printed on the packaging of these cookies, they aren’t really new and they don’t taste new.

I’ll explain.

While doing some research on these cookies, I happened to come across a 2005 review about Chips Ahoy Soft BAKED Chunky Cookies written by some guy named Marvo from a website called The Impulsive Buy. In that review, he said those tasted exactly like regular Chips Ahoy. And that’s also the case here, so it’s not something new in terms of flavor.

Although the cookie has more of an emphasis on the semisweet chocolate chips and chunks. With every bite, your taste buds will get slapped with chocolatey flavor. It’s almost to the point where your mouth might think it’s eating a candy bar.

As for the cookie part of the cookie, it’s not as soft as regular Chewy Chips Ahoy. But these could also easily be called Chunky Chewy Chips Ahoy or given its predecessor’s name, Chips Ahoy Soft Baked Chunky Cookies.

Chips Ahoy Soft Chunky Original Cookies 2

Whether or not you’ll enjoy these soft cookies really comes down to what you think of Chips Ahoy in general. If you dislike the flavor of any of them, then you’ll obviously dislike these since they don’t taste very different. But if you’re fine with the cookie that has an exclamation point in its name, then stuff your face with them!

Actually, don’t stuff your face with them! Because according to the nutrition facts the serving size is ONE COOKIE. So if you crowd your maw with them, you’ll easily be eating four or five servings.

As someone who likes Chips Ahoy cookies, I think their flavor is fine, but the idea of these cookies are a bit of a letdown. Again, they’re not a new idea. Nabisco has done it before. I think to go from the creative, and yummy, Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy and then down to this rehashed product, makes me disappointed in the Nabisco ingenuity engine.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cookie – 90 calories, 30 calories from fat, 3.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of sodium, 30 milligrams of potassium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 7 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.98
Size: 10.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like Chips Ahoy with more chocolatey flavor. Lots of semisweet chocolate chips and chunks. Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy. I’ve reviewed a lot of stuff.
Cons: Not really a new product. Tastes like all other Chips Ahoy. Serving size is ONE COOKIE. Who eats just ONE COOKIE? I wish I bought the peanut butter version.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy Cookies

Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy

Every year Nabisco puts out the same uninspired winter products.

There’s Snowflake Ritz with the image of a snowflake on each cracker. While no two snowflakes are alike, the millions of Snowflake Ritz crackers are. There’s Holiday Wheat Thins, which could’ve been called Snowflake Wheat Thins if not for the other holiday shapes stamped into some of the crackers. Then there’s Winter Oreo Cookies that have a creme that tastes like a regular Oreo, but has enough red food coloring to make a Maraschino cherry think that’s a bit too much food coloring.

This year, Nabisco brought back those boring snacks, but they also introduced the Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy Cookies.

The chocolate cookie features marshmallow-flavored chips, fudge chips, and a disc of hot cocoa-flavored goodness in the center. If you look at the beautifully Photoshopped cookie on the wrapper, it looks like it’s supposed to have a viscous goo center. Because the packaging says, “Heat for a treat,” I assumed sticking them in a microwave oven would achieve that gooey center. Unfortunately, the appliance has no effect on the center of these cookies.

Despite what Ron Popeil and George Foreman might say, the microwave oven is the greatest kitchen innovation in the past few decades. It’s a powerful radiation pulsing cooking machine that can boil water in under 90 seconds and make a Hot Pocket burst open in two minutes. But it appears the mighty microwave oven has met its match with these cookies.

There are instructions that say to warm them in pairs for 6-7 seconds. I tried that, but the centers remained completely solid. Then I microwaved another two cookies for 8 seconds. No gooey. Then just one at 9 seconds. Nothing. Then another one at 10 seconds. Still solid.

Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy 3

Since time is endless and the amount of cookies in the packaging are not, I decided to up the intervals. 14 seconds. Nope. 20 seconds. Noooooo. 25 seconds. Noooooooooooo. Then I decided to heat up one for 30 seconds. Only the edges of the chocolate disc in the cookie melted. The rest of it was still solid.

While the chocolatey center didn’t turn into a pool of goo, microwaving beyond the 6-7 seconds did affect the rest of the cookie, making it crumble apart during any attempt to pick it up.

When eaten straight out of the package, these cookies are good. But when heated up, they’re damn good. Both ways have a hot cocoa flavor, but the flavor is amplified when the cookies have spent a few seconds in a microwave oven. I thought the marshmallow flavor was strictly with the white chips, but it tastes like the hot cocoa center also has a bit of marshmallow flavor. When heated up at the recommended time, the exterior of the cookies have a wonderful softness to them, and the center, while not melted, does give easily.

Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy 2

There have been many new Chips Ahoy varieties over the past two years, but the only ones I’ve truly enjoyed were the Ice Cream Creations Root Beer Float and Limited Edition Chocolate Banana, both of which are no longer available. But I’m happy to say these cookies brought me as much joy as those did. They are wonderful…when warmed up.

Sure, I’m disappointed with the center not being gooey, but they’re tasty enough that I definitely would love to see them next holiday season with the Snowflake Ritz, Holiday Wheat Thins, and Winter Oreo Cookies.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 150 calories, 60 calories from fat, 7 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 1 gram of polyunsaturated fat, 2 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 115 milligrams of sodium, 75 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 14 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Hot Cocoa Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $3.50
Size: 10 oz.
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Wonderful flavor. Tastes like hot cocoa. Good when eaten straight from the package, but awesome after being heated up in the microwave. Soft exterior when microwaved. Much more exciting than Snowflake Ritz, Holiday Wheat Thins, and Winter Oreo Cookies.
Cons: Center doesn’t get gooey. Only available for a limited time. Not knowing if they’ll be back next year.

REVIEW: Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies

Day 1: Test Subject CH-19 has reported for experimentation. CH-19 is an ordinary, unassuming Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookie. While being paid for its compliance, our scientists injected CH-19 with the brownie genome. Is this ethical? Perhaps not, but those nefarious Girl Scouts have little girls running around calling themselves “Brownies,” so our study will continue, too.

Day 20: It’s working. CH-19 reported digestive bloating, and our x-rays revealed that a brownie is indeed growing inside of it. Satisfied, our scientists will sell some of the other subjects in this condition and call them Brownie Filled Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookies.

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies 2

Day 32: We had no idea that the brownie filled cookies were only Phase 2 of a grander biological process. The metamorphosis into full-blown Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookie is complete. After an incident not unlike a cocoa-covered version of that scene from Aliens, the brownie chestburster has entirely taken over CH-19 (Sigourney Weaver wouldn’t answer our phone calls). Its blondie exterior is now the earthy color of fresh soil, and he is emitting a scent similar to your grandma’s kitchen during the county fair bake sale.

Day 42: Dissecting CH-19 for taste testing, the soft, chip-stuffed exterior of the roughly Pog-sized (only real ‘90s cookies remember!) treat crumbled easily, revealing its dense, crumb-spewing innards.

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies 3

Its base flavor is remarkably similar to regular Chewy Chips Ahoy! cookies: buttery, moist, and straddling the border of cloyingly sweet with its noticeable brown sugar undertones and added sugariness from the exploding chocolate chip morsels. At first, a blind taste tester might not even be able to discern post-transformation CH-19 from his original state.

However, further analysis reveals CH-19’s new superpower: the power of the chew. By chewing, chewing, and continuing to chew until your jawbones experience karoshi (word of the day, kids!), new depths of flavor are unearthed. First comes a dull cocoa, which quickly becomes a doughy richness that has some genuine fudge notes. This comparatively subdued cocoa taste pairs well with the chocolate chips’ blasts of straight sugar.

But despite the complexities lurking deep within CH-19’s soul, the jaw exhaustion (ex-jaw-stion?) necessary to bring them out isn’t worth the end result. Without the vanilla undertones or oily base (their uncomfortable sticky gloss doesn’t count) of a genuine brownie, these cookies can’t be considered a reasonable replacement for the actual thing. CH-19 and his fellow subjects fall more into the category of “obviously artificial cookies that taste just real enough for Mom to pass them off as homemade so she can have a gosh darn night to herself for once.”

All in all, the cookies are like when the director rereleases your favorite movie with 7 seconds of deleted footage: the added cocoa-brownie taste is, well, tasty, but it’s so barely noticeable that only the delicate palates of seasoned Ahoy!coholics will be driven to hunt these down.

Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies 4

Day 44: Uh oh. CH-19 is not happy. It has transcended its brownie form and evolved into a higher being. CH-19 has entered Phase 4. The self-titled and grammatically questionable “Ahoy!wich” makes for a delightfully potent and extra chocolaty version of a Chipwich—albeit a disappointingly bite-sized one. The flavor of CH-19’s new vanilla ice cream abdomen ups his “brownie credibility” another notch. He’s too powerful now.

The Ahoy!calypse is upon us.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 140 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Nabisco Limited Edition Brownie Chewy Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Spartan Store
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Chewy goodness. The ol’ one-two cocoa-chocolate punch. Learning new words. Hey look, Mom made cookies!
Cons: Not brownie-y enough. Not much difference from “blondie” chewy Chips Ahoy! Ex-jaw-stion. Randomly placed exclamation! points. Our new Ahoy!wich overlords.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies

Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies

Chocolate dipped bananas are popular at fairs, carnivals, and during episodes of Arrested Development.

Now the chocolate and banana combination has made its way into Chips Ahoy’s crunchy cookie. As you can see in the photos, these Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies have chocolate and banana flavored chips. Actually, they’re more like chunks. They appear to be slightly more substantial than the chocolate found in regular Chips Ahoy cookies.

Now Nabisco could’ve gone a few routes to get the banana flavor. Banana chips is one way. But looking at the price of banana chips at my local Safeway and the saturated fat content on the internet, it’s probably not a good choice.

Freeze-dried bananas is another option. But while they’re great for astronauts and monkeys we send into space, their weird texture wouldn’t be so great with a crunchy cookie.

They also could’ve baked banana Runts into them, which, to me, would’ve been super cool. But with all the banana Runts hate in the world it would’ve also been super not profitable.

Instead Nabisco’s bakers went with, according to the packaging’s front, “naturally flavored” banana chunks. Those quotes are there because “banana” doesn’t appear anywhere in the list of two dozen ingredients, but there is the mysterious “natural and artificial flavor.” (Let’s be honest, a naturally flavored banana product without “banana” in the ingredients is a bit…well, unnatural sounding.) The banana chunks aren’t like the chocolate chunks. They’re more like flavored toffee and crunchy like the cookie they’re enclosed in.

From the moment I first unsealed the resealable package and inhaled that “natural” banana aroma with a hint of chocolate, I knew I was going to love these. The banana flavor is pleasant and mild, but then again an actual banana’s flavor is mild as well. It’s somewhere between being natural and artificial tasting. Also, it’s stronger than the chocolate.

Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies Closeup

Before I took a bite out of a cookie, I could taste the banana in my mouth. This made me wonder if there was banana flavoring in the cookie dough. Because there were so many damn chunks in each cookie, nibbling around them was difficult and I couldn’t get a definite answer.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a chocolate dipped banana, so I can’t say if the flavor is the same. But the chocolate definitely takes a backseat to the banana. There were times when I could taste the chocolate, but the banana is top banana here.

While I do love these cookies, I had some issues. It appears I was, perhaps, gypped a cookie. The tray has three sections and the two outer sections had six cookies, while the middle tray had five. You owe me a cookie, Nabisco! Also, there were fleeting moments when I thought I tasted black pepper.

Last year, Nabisco released their Ice Cream Creations line. If this flavor was released with those, I think it could’ve easily been a banana split variety. But it would’ve also been my second favorite behind the wonderful Root Beer Float Chips Ahoy Cookies.

But those root beer float-flavored cookies are now gone and I’m sad about that. And I’ll feel that same when these Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies disappear from shelves too.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 160 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 2.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 95 milligrams of sodium, 30 milligrams of potassium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 10 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)

Item: Limited Edition Chocolate Banana Chips Ahoy Cookies
Purchased Price: $2.50
Size: 9.5 oz.
Purchased at: Walmart
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: I love these cookies, but I do love bananas (and artificial banana flavored candy). Nice mild banana flavor. Lots of chocolate and banana flavored chunks. Arrested Development.
Cons: Limited edition. Nabisco might’ve forgot a cookie. Chocolate tastes a backseat to the banana. Occasional fleeting black pepper flavor.