REVIEW: Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart

Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart

I’d like to apologize to Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart.

On several occasions, on this blog, out in public, and in a mirror, I’ve said the grape-flavored Mountain Dew Pitch Black is the best Mountain Dew flavor. So when I learned the brand was coming out with Midnight Grape Kickstart, I said to myself in the mirror, “YASSSSS!!! A grape-flavored Dew!!!” because I thought it would taste like my beloved Pitch Black.

But after drinking it and comparing it with Pitch Black (which I received from Mountain Dew a few weeks ago), I realized I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes up because my logic was flawed.

I thought Grape + Mountain Dew = Pitch Black, but that’s not the case and I should’ve known that. Does the Black Cherry Kickstart taste like Mountain Dew Code Red? No. Does Orange Citrus Kickstart taste like Mountain Dew Livewire? No. So I’m sorry to Midnight Grape Kickstart for thinking it would taste like something that it doesn’t.

How can I make it up to you, Midnight Grape Kickstart?

A glowing review? Nope, you’re not going to get that.

Mountain Dew Midnight Grape Kickstart 2

Much like all the Kickstart varieties that come in 16-ounce cans, this grape one has 5 percent juice, which comes from white grape juice concentrate. The addition of juice gives the beverage a natural grape flavor and not the candy-like grape Pitch Black has. Although it’s white grape juice, the color and flavor are more like a purple concord grape.

It’s not syrupy sweet like regular Mountain Dew sodas, thanks to artificial sweeteners ace K and Sucralose backing up the high fructose corn syrup. The use of those sweeteners cut the sugar content to 20 grams per can, which is a third of what’s in a 16-ounce serving of regular Dew. However, the lower sugar content makes it taste like a lightly carbonated diet grape juice or lightly carbonated grape juice that’s been watered down.

To be honest, I didn’t really care for it the first time. But after having a second can, it’s grown on me. However, that could be the 90 milligrams of caffeine per can talking.

I’m a fan of Mountain Dew Kickstart. I regularly purchase the Black Cherry and Fruit Punch flavors. But, even though Midnight Grape has grown on me, I can’t say the new flavor is good enough to join the other two flavors as a regular purchase.

(Nutrition Facts – 1 can – 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 170 milligrams of sodium, 105 milligrams of potassium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 20 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: 99 cents
Size: 16 oz. can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Decent grape flavor that may take some getting used to. Fewer calories and sugar than regular Mountain Dew. Contains fruit juice. Natural grape flavor. 90 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine.
Cons: If you’re expected Mtn Dew Pitch Black, stop expecting. Tastes like diet grape juice or watered down grape juice. Apologizing to a Mountain Dew flavor.

REVIEW: Mountain Dew Kickstart Hydrating Boost (Pineapple Orange Mango and Strawberry Kiwi)

Mountain Dew Kickstart Hydrating Boost

When I saw the bizarre, trippy commercial for Mountain Dew Kickstart Hydrating Boost energy drinks during the Super Bowl, I got pretty excited. An energy drink with some kind of hallucinogen in it? WOOHOO! Well, at least that’s what the commercial led me to believe, but I was intent on finding out for myself.

The description on the bottles are kind of interesting. Flavored sparkling juice beverage blend from concentrate with other natural flavors. I was under the impression it was a normal energy drink, but right away I noticed they weren’t as acidic and sugary as others on the market.

It has coconut water, contains 10 percent juice, and with the can being only 12 ounces and 60 calories per can, it’s definitely healthier than a lot of other energy drinks.

It comes in two flavors, Energizing Strawberry Kiwi and Energizing Pineapple Orange Mango. Did they really need to use the word “energizing?” I mean, it’s called Kickstart, and it’s sold amongst other energy drinks. And they use the same term on both flavors. They should use different ones, like, I don’t know, “Pump You Up Strawberry Kiwi.” Just my thoughts.

Mountain Dew Kickstart Hydrating Boost Orange Pineapple Mango

Pineapple Orange Mango beats out Strawberry Kiwi big time in the taste department. It has three fruit flavors, and though you might think something would get lost in the mix, all three flavors actually come through, with pineapple and orange being the most prominent. It drinks like a mix between a soda and a sparkling juice, and isn’t as carbonated as much as normal energy drinks are. It was very pleasant to drink.

The cans say, “with just the right amount of KICK” because they have 68 milligrams of caffeine.

But they don’t say anything about containing acid or some other drug that will make my cat dance or my statues come to life and have deep philosophical conversations with me, but I saw the commercial. I know what’s going on here.

Mountain Dew Kickstart Hydrating Boost Strawberry Kiwi

The Strawberry Kiwi was kind of weak. I really just tasted strawberry, and since the flavor wasn’t nearly as potent as the Pineapple Orange Mango, the carbonation is more noticeable and it just doesn’t work as well as its companion flavor.

Both contain coconut water, but it must not be much. I couldn’t taste a hint of the distinctive flavor in either. But I’m not really complaining, as coconut water doesn’t have the greatest taste.

I drank half of each so I could see what was up with the energy boost I was supposed to receive, but honestly I didn’t really get too much of the kick I was promised. Now you may drink this and get a decent kick, but it didn’t do much for me.

But despite the lack of boost, I did find the hydrating part to be true. I would normally stay away from an energy drink if I needed a thirst quencher, but these drinks were darn refreshing.

As for the hallucinating… well, it never came. That commercial was so misleading. Promising me free drugs in a can that would make me dance and hallucinate, on top of giving me an energy boost. And what do I get? Nothing. Well, I did get a tasty Pineapple Orange Mango drink that I would have again. And I gained the knowledge that Strawberry Kiwi isn’t worth my time.

But most importantly, I realized that you shouldn’t seek out hard drugs inside cans of Mountain Dew energy drinks. You should just call your shady friend Peanut and see if he’s currently in or out of jail and whether or not he can hook you up.

(Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces – 60 calories, 0 grams of fat, 130 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 14 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 68 milligrams of caffeine, 0 grams total fat, 130 mg of sodium, 15 grams total carbohydrate, 14 grams sugars, 0 grams protein, 68 milligrams of caffeine, 75% vitamin c, 60% niacin, 60% vitamin b6, 45% pantothenic acid, 10% phosphorous. Strawberry Kiwi – )

Item: Mountain Dew Kickstart Hydrating Boost
Purchased Price: 2/$3.79
Size: 12 oz. can
Purchased at: Gulf Gas Station
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Pineapple Orange Mango)
Rating: 4 out of 10 (Strawberry Kiwi)
Pros: Pineapple Orange Mango was quite tasty. Less sugary and acidic than typical energy drinks. Only 60 calories per can. Having a shady friend named Peanut.
Cons: Strawberry Kiwi was pretty weak. Drinks did not offer much of a kick. Misleading commercials. Having a shady friend named Peanut.

REVIEW: Rockstar Energy Horchata

Rockstar Energy Horchata

Let me start off this Rockstar Energy Horchata review by stating I’ve never had horchata before. And while I’m in the state of admitting things that make me sound boring, I’ve never watched a minute of the movie Titanic (the 1953 and 1997 versions), I haven’t traveled beyond the borders of North America, and I’ve never danced with a monkey under the moonlight to the sounds of endangered birds.

Horchata, according to the editors at Wikipedia, is a beverage that can be made from almonds, sesame seeds, rice, barley, or tigernuts, which I learned from Wikipedia are not tiger testicles. As I went deeper down into the Wikipedia hole I started by looking up horchata, I learned a dried tiger penis can sell for $2500 and is used as an aphrodisiac. Then I learned deer penis is also used as an aphrodisiac. Wait. What was this review about again? Tigernuts! No wait. Rockstar Energy Horchata.

Rockstar Energy Horchata, according to the can, is made using, “Fresh dairy, rice flour, and natural cinnamon flavors.” Although cinnamon isn’t listed in the ingredients, instead listed as “Natural Flavors,” its flavor stands out from the very first sip. It pretty much tastes like cinnamon milk.

Rockstar Energy Horchata 2

The dairy, which is whole milk, and the rice flour give the beverage its milky white color and some thickness. The non-carbonated Rockstar Energy Horchata looks so pure and innocent, but don’t let that fool you. This is one caffeinated beast that’ll make your heart thump like the bass drum at a metal concert. Rockstar’s Energy Blend that consists of, say it with me, guarana, ginseng, taurine, inositol, L-carnitine, and caffeine provides each can with 225 milligrams of sweet, heart-thumping caffeine.

For the most part it doesn’t taste like an energy drink. It’s creamy, smooth, and the cinnamon and dairy do a great job at masking Rockstar’s Energy Blend and the artificial sweeteners. However, the finish does take a slight dive towards bitterness, but as a regular energy drink drinker, I didn’t mind that.

There is another minor issue with the beverage. When I let an open can sit in the fridge for a few hours, some of the ingredients congealed into tiny bits. They didn’t affect the flavor and there were very few of them, but obviously the beverage wasn’t so smooth anymore.

I’ve had four Rockstar Energy Horchatas within the past week, so I guess that means I really like it, or there’s crack in it. Since I’m not having withdrawals, I’m going to say I really like it. So if you love the C words – caffeine and cinnamon – I’d suggest you try this energy drink.

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces – 100 calories, 20 calories from fat, 2 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 130 milligrams of sodium, 17 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 6% calcium, 100% vitamin B6, 100% niacin, and 100% pantothenic acid.)

Item: Rockstar Energy Horchata
Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 15 oz. can
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Tastes like cinnamon milk. Wonderful flavor. 225 milligrams of sweet, heart-thumping caffeine. Creamy and smooth, at first.
Cons: If left open in the fridge, some of the ingredients will congeal into tiny bits. Slight bitterness with the finish. Comes in what looks like a 16-ounce can, but has only 15 ounces of liquid. Going down Wikipedia holes.

QUICK REVIEW: Rockstar Sparking Energy (Cherry Citrus and Peach)

Rockstar Sparking Energy (Cherry Citrus and Peach)

Purchased Price: $2.09 each
Size: 16 oz. cans
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Cherry Citrus)
Rating: 3 out of 10 (Peach)
Pros: Cherry Citrus has a nice light citrus aroma and pleasant initial cherry flavor, which turns to a citrus flavor on the back end. If you hate syrupy energy drinks, you may like their light flavor. Zero sugar and zero calories. 80 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine per serving. I love the can’s vivid colors which probably look even awesomer if I was on LSD.
Cons: The peach flavor is a bit too artificial, making it kind of hard to drink. As the Cherry Citrus gets warm, the cherry flavor gets lighter. Artificial sweeteners are really noticeable if they get slightly warm. They get their caffeine from green coffee beans, similar to Starbucks Refreshers, but green coffee isn’t listed in the ingredients like it is with Starbucks Refreshers.

Rockstar Sparkling Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 8 ounces – 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 40 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 100% niacin, 100% vitamin B12, 100% vitamin B6, and 100% pantothenic acid.

QUICK REVIEW: Starbucks Blueberry Acai Refreshers

Blueberry Acai Starbucks Refreshers

Purchased Price: $1.99
Size: 12 fl oz
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: My favorite of the canned Starbucks Refreshers flavors. Has a pleasant acai berry and mild blueberry flavor. Contains 25% juice (which is better than the 5% juice in Mountain Dew Kickstart). It did give me a good boost of energy, albeit short. Has 100% of my daily vitamin C, so, ARGHHH, no scurvy for this scallywag.
Cons: Has the slight bitterness from the coffee that all canned Starbucks Refreshers have. With its very light carbonation, it’s, perhaps, too easy to drink and it’ll be gone before you want it. Can doesn’t say how much caffeine it has (it does say it has 50 mg of panax ginseng).

Blueberry Acai Starbucks Refreshers Closeup

Nutrition Facts: 90 calories, 0 calories from fat, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 5 milligrams of sodium, 26 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 20 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, 25% niacin, 25% pantothenic acid, 100% vitamin C, and 25% vitamin B12.

QUICK REVIEW: Tropical Citrus Rockstar Energy Water

Tropical Citrus Rockstar Energy Water

Purchased Price: $1.59
Size: 20 oz. bottle
Purchased at: 7-Eleven
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Hydrating. If you enjoy kicking your heart with 200 milligrams of caffeine, you will like this. Contains typical Rockstar Energy Drink ingredients. Sugar free. Zero calories. Provides 100 percent of your daily vitamin C.
Cons: If you hate the amount of flavor VitaminWaters have, you’ll hate this. Tropical citrus flavor was a bit odd and it almost doesn’t do a good job of masking the bitterness of the caffeine. Way too easy to drink. Artificial sweeteners more noticeable as it gets warmer.

Nutrition Facts: 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 35 milligrams of potassium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 100% vitamin C.
Other reviews: Caffeine King, Caffeine! The Energy Blog