REVIEW: Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal

Romano's Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal

Where was the Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal when I wanted to create the illusion that I had some culinary skills so I could impress a woman?

Instead, I had to plate a Stouffer’s lasagna in a way that made it look like it wasn’t a Stouffer’s lasagna.

I also had to make my kitchen look like I did some actual cooking in it by having a dish rack full of items I would use if I had made the lasagna, an empty lasagna noodle box in the trash, a slightly warm oven, a half used block of mozzarella cheese in the fridge and a few tomato sauce spots on my kitchen counter that I “missed” while cleaning up.

Heck, I had to buy a casserole dish so I could plop the Stouffer’s lasagna into it. On top of that, in an attempt to gain pity points, I cut myself with a knife on purpose to make it appear like I injured myself while cooking. Who knew pretending to make a lasagna would be as hard as making a lasagna?

But, sadly, all that effort didn’t even get me to first base with her. I might as well have taken her to Chuck E. Cheese, because it would’ve gotten the same result, but at least I would’ve had the opportunity to play in a pit of balls. Maybe I didn’t get to first base because she knew it was a Stouffer’s lasagna. Or maybe my yawn/stretch/wrap my arm around her technique was creepy because my hand accidentally landed on her boob.

Oh wait, I just realized I got to second base with her. YES! I can now add this to my sexual conquests diary.

While I never saw her again and never heard from her after leaving a message on her voice mail every day for a month, perhaps I can accidentally get to third base with next woman if I pretend to make the Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal from scratch.

Romano's Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal Prepared

The bagged meal is made up of grilled white meat chicken and spinach with farfalle pasta tossed in a creamy parmesan cheese and garlic sauce. What’s farfalle pasta? It’s one of my trump cards to impress her.

I’ll keep calling it farfalle pasta, until she asks me what it is. Then I’ll say, “Oh, silly me. I thought you knew what farfalle was, because you look like a sophisticated woman. We in the culinary world call it farfalle, but normal people call it bowtie pasta.”

Aw yeah, droppin’ knowledge equals droppin’ panties.

I’ve tried a number of frozen meals for two and almost all of them tend to have small servings, but this Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal makes two ample servings. Preparing it involves stirring the contents of the package in a non-stick skillet with 1/3 cup of milk.

The result is a creamy, tasty dish that makes me appear to have skills in the kitchen. The farfalle pasta came out perfect, the sauce had the right amount of garlic flavor and the spinach provided color to the dish and iron, but the chicken turned out a little dry.

The Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal turned out quite well, which gives me hope that, with my fraudulent culinary skills, I can impress the next woman who begrudgingly agrees to have dinner with me.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 package/340 grams (prepared) – 560 calories, 170 calories from fat, 19 grams of fat, 11 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 95 milligrams of cholesterol, 1270 milligrams of sodium, 56 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 40 grams of protein, 25% vitamin A, 4% vitamin C, 45% calcium and 10% iron.)

Item: Romano’s Macaroni Grill Grilled Chicken Florentine Complete Frozen Meal
Price: $7.99
Size: 24 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Tasty frozen meal. Ample servings. Creamy sauce. Pasta came out perfect. Getting a woman to have dinner with me. Easy to make. Getting to first, second or third base. Good source of calcium and vitamin A. Awesome source of protein.
Cons: Chicken turned out a little dry. Great source of sodium and saturated fat. Impressing women with fake culinary skills. Not getting a call back after leaving a voice mail message every day for a month.

REVIEW: Romano’s Macaroni Grill Chicken Marsala with Linguine Dinner Kit

If you’re expecting this Romano’s Macaroni Grill Chicken Marsala with Linguine dinner kit to taste like the stuff you can order in one of the many Macaroni Grill Italian restaurants across the United States, known for their poorly-lit dining areas, long waits to get a table and servers who have the unnatural ability to write upside down, you might be disappointed and use bread dipped in olive oil and pepper to drown your sorrow. However, it’s significantly better than pouring Ragu sauce over some noodles and chicken.

The dinner kit includes dried linguine pasta, Marsala sauce seasoning, seasoned flour, and Marsala cooking wine. All you need to provide to make this meal complete is boneless skinless chicken breasts, vegetable oil, hot water, butter, your appetite and the ability to turn on your stove.

Preparing the meal is quite simple. All you have to do is cut the chicken into pieces, dip it into the seasoned flour (which smells like powdered alcohol), brown the chicken in the pan, pour in the cooking wine (which smells less alcoholic than the seasoned flour), stir in the seasoning, let it simmer and then enjoy.

Light dimming optional.

Despite all of the alcohol-ish ingredients, it doesn’t have an alcohol taste, which probably burned away during the cooking process, so you won’t get ripped. And I know this because I’m a pussy when it come to alcohol and I was fine after eating it, if you consider singing Journey songs in my boxers “fine.” But, to be honest, I pretty much belt out Steve Perry tunes every night after dinner. It helps with digestion, especially the long notes in “Don’t Stop Believin’.”

Strangers waiting/Up and down the boulevard/Their shadows searching in the night/Streetlight people/Living just to find emotion/Hiding somewhere in the niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight

Although the packaging says is makes five 1 cup servings per container, this kit provides about three normal servings of food (or two normal Macaroni Grill restaurant-sized portions). I felt there wasn’t enough sauce to slather the noodles provided, which makes eating the noodles not so exciting. Thankfully the chicken in the sauce soaked up a lot of it, providing most of the flavor, which was quite good.

Like I said at the beginning, it doesn’t taste like the dish you can get in the restaurant, but it’s quite flavorful for something made from a box. However, for the price I paid for it and the preparation I had to go through to make it, I think I’d prefer a complete frozen version that includes all the ingredients in a bag that I can stick in the microwave or conventional oven and then be like SPLIDOW!!!

(Nutrition Facts – 1 cup (prepared) – 330 calories, 13 grams of fat, 3.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 3.5 grams of monounsaturated fat, 60 milligrams of cholesterol, 450 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of protein, 10% iron, 20% thiamin, 10% riboflavin, 50% niacin and 15% folic acid.)

Item: Romano’s Macaroni Grill Chicken Marsala with Linguine Dinner Kit
Price: $4.99
Size: 10.1 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Quite good. Flavorful. Awesome source of niacin! Use of the term “splidow” in a review. Singing Journey songs to aid with digestion. Provides monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats. Being able to write upside down.
Cons: Its preparation. Having to provide half of the ingredients. Not enough sauce. Nutritional content in normal servings. Not microwaveable. The poorly-lit dining areas and long waits at Macaroni Grill. Me in my boxers singing Journey songs.