REVIEW: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie

Haagen Dazs Caramel Apple Pie

Häagen-Dazs is quite possibly the Mercedes-Benz of the ice cream world. Both exhibit high quality in their respective industries and both have the letter Z in the second word of their names. Okay, maybe I’m making this comparison because I watched a marathon of Top Gear episodes thanks to Netflix.

But for Americans, when they imagine a European luxury car maker, they’ll probably think Mercedes Benz, and when they imagine a European premium ice cream, they’ll probably think Häagen-Dazs.

However, there’s a problem with that, because Häagen-Dazs is, and has always been, an American company. It’s as American as apple pie, baseball, and people suing fast food companies for making them fat. Now I could say I knew Häagen-Dazs has been an American company all this time, but like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie, and I blame the umlaut-ed A for my ignorance.

Umlaut! Thou trickery shall not be forgotten and I shall place you under a lowercase L, the number one, or a Sheffer stroke to shame you.

With the knowledge that Häagen-Dazs is an American company and apple pie is as American as…itself, I think the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie ice cream is the most patriotic ice cream ever. Although some might say, Ben & Jerry’s Stephen Colbert’s AmeriCone Dream is the most patriotic ice cream, but the only way it could be more patriotic than the Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie is if it contained actual chunks of Mr. Colbert or a gooey swirl of his Formula 401.

The Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie, a.k.a. The Most American Ice Cream, is made up of apple ice cream, chunks of apples, caramel swirls, and chunks of pie crust. When combined, it’s as if I’m eating an American flag that’s been wrapped around the U.S. Constitution, which has been stuffed with the Bill of Rights that contains grounded bits of other things I learned in grade school social studies, all of which has been covered with lots of cinnamon, which is the most dominate flavor in the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie.

Haagen Dazs Caramel Apple Pie Topless

The apple ice cream is what you expect from a Häagen-Dazs ice cream: creamy, easy to scoop, and something so deliciously right, but yet, so addictively wrong. The apple and pie crust chunks were small, and in about 60 percent of the spoonfuls I took from the 14-ounce container, I ended up with either a chunk of apple or a chunk of pie crust. But having a spoonful with both was extremely rare.

The apple chunks brought a little more apple flavor beyond the apple ice cream, and it was nice having them in there to provide the crisp texture of apples. I guess having actual apple chunks are one of the little things that makes Häagen-Dazs a premium American ice cream maker. The buttery pie crust chunks were one of the best parts of the ice cream, because when mixed with the apple ice cream, it tastes somewhat similar to an actual apple pie. As for the caramel, despite being a focal ingredient of this ice cream, it doesn’t really stand out, nor does it complement anything. It sort of gets lost within the cinnamon, which is fine by me.

Overall, I like the Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie ice cream, although I do wish it had more pie crust chunks. The combination of apple ice cream and cinnamon is a winner, but at the same time it makes me yearn for a real apple pie a la mode.

Oh wait, that’s not the American way to say it. I meant to say, apple pie served with ice cream.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 250 calories, 130 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A, and 8% calcium.)

Item: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie
Price: $4.19
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: U-S-A! Apple ice cream and cinnamon make an awesome combination. Creamy. Apple ice cream and pie crust chunks make an awesome combination. Apple chunks added a little more apple flavor and a nice crisp texture. Eating apple pie while watching baseball with a bald eagle perched on my shoulder make an awesome combination. Top Gear. Netflix. Fun with punctuations. U-S-A!
Cons: Only 14 ounces. Not a satisfying substitute for apple pie served with ice cream. Small chunks of pie crust and apples. Not enough chunks of pie crust and apples. The umlaut tricking me into thinking Häagen-Dazs is a European company.

REVIEW: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble

Haagen Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble

This past holiday weekend, I had the pleasure of visiting the mile-high city of Denver. I saw the Rocky Mountains, miles and miles of rolling amber prairie, and the giant Zombie Demon Horse at the airport.

Oh, you’ve never heard of this nightmarish equine fiend from Hell?

It’s a thing of rare, unmitigated monstrousness with its jagged, shiny metal form, gaping mouth, wildly probing tongue, and glowing red eyes. It fuels dark visions of the end times and makes one wonder whether the city of Denver is the ideal location for a zombie demon invasion, what with the mountains providing protection from the hordes of undead monsters and all. It also invites speculation as to whether the airport’s Zombie Demon Horse, itself, would be the thing that allows these foul creatures to enter our dimension. Would this 32-foot statue be the glowing, neon sign that declares “Denver is Open for Zombie Demon Business?” I only mention this Zombie Demon Horse because it has exactly one thing in common with the new Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble ice cream: It’s blue.

Haagen Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble Open Carton

Much like being subjected to night-terror-inducing public works of art, it isn’t often that we encounter naturally-occurring blue food. I can count all the blue foods I’ve eaten on one hand: blue potatoes, blue corn chips, bleu cheese (it’s the mold that’s blue), and, of course, blueberries. There is no shortage of blueberries in Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble, which gives it a nice, violet color. It’s smooth and isn’t clumpy, which certain types of fruity ice cream seem to be.

With my first bite, I was wowed by the Blueberry Crumble’s flavorful combination of real blueberries and fresh cream. The packaging boasts of ripe, simmered blueberries, and frankly, I think they’ve hit a home run with the recipe. Nothing about it tastes artificial – this is made from real fruit. A quick scan of the ingredients lists confirms a refreshing lack of chemical additives and preservatives.

Haagen Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble Scoops

The texture of the ice cream is smooth and dense, and the crushed blueberries are evenly mixed throughout. However, the “cobbler crust crumbles” – tiny pieces of buttery cobbler that have been folded into the ice cream — are not as plentiful as we are led to believe. Every third bite may include some of the crumble, but overall, it’s mostly blueberry-flavored ice cream. Not what I expected, since the label strongly suggests that you’ll be digging into something that would be at least 50 percent crumbly. The tiny bits of cobbler taste yummy and are an interesting addition, but the pieces aren’t large enough and don’t add much to the experience. The Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble is tasty, but I wish it was bursting with cobbler crumbles.

The Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble may be just the thing to have in the mountains while we’re taking shelter from the zombie demon apocalypse. It’s pretty cold up there, so we can leave the ice cream just about anywhere. In fact, it may be the only thing we’ll have to eat for months, since the power grid will go down within three hours of the Zombie Demon Horse’s clarion call to arms for the denizens of the Underworld. I suggest you start stocking up on Blueberry Crumble now and head for the hills.

(Nutrition Facts- ½ cup (102 grams) –250 calories, 140 calories from fat, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 21 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 0% vitamin A, 8% calcium, 0% vitamin C and 0% iron.)

Item: Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Blueberry Crumble
Price: $3.99
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Vons
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Made from real blueberries and fresh cream. Blue foods are rare. Smooth and dense texture. Violet. The majestic beauty of the Rocky Mountains. Yummy buttery crust crumbles. Delicious, ice-cream-based survival.
Cons: Zombie Demon Horses. Misleading label. Terrifying works of public art. Cobbler crust crumbles are small and don’t add much to the experience. Wildly probing tongues. Gateway airports to the Underworld.

NEWS: Limited Edition Haagen Dazs Sweet Chai Latte and Blueberry Crumble To Help Ensure You Get Your Daily Intake of Saturated Fat

Chai latté

Update: Click here to read our Häagen-Dazs Limited Edition Sweet Chai Latte review

My feelings about Haagen Dazs ice cream flavors are similar to how a 12-year-old girl thinks of Justin Bieber songs — it’s hard to not like them all. Also, just like a 12-year-old girl screams whenever she sees Bieber, I scream like a little girl whenever I see new Haagen Dazs ice cream.

Well, expect me to freak out anyone who happens to be in the ice cream aisle when I see for the first time the new Limited Edition Haagen Dazs Sweet Chai Latte and Blueberry Crumble ice creams.

According to the Haagen Dazs website, the Sweet Chai Latte ice cream is “inspired by the distinctive tastes of India, aromatic spiced chair tea is blended with rich, velvety ice cream to create this unique modern delicacy.” The Blueberry Crumble also has an equally adjective-heavy description, that says, “a comforting, classic dessert meets creamy, indulgent ice cream. simmered ripe blueberries folded into dense blueberry ice cream with rich, buttery cobbler crust crumbles.”

Half a cup of the Sweet Chai Latte has 250 calories, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 80 milligrams of cholesterol, 45 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 21 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A and 10% calcium. A half cup serving of Blueberry Crumble has 250 calories, 15 grams of fat, 9 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 60 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, 21 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein and 8% calcium.

The Sweet Chai Latte ice cream is available until September, while the Blueberry Crumble ice cream is available until December.

NEWS: Häagen-Dazs Confuses Your Fork and Spoon with New Limited Edition Caramel Apple Pie Ice Cream

Häagen-Dazs

Have I entered some Bizarro world where, instead of ice cream on top of my pie, there’s pie in my ice cream?! What craziness is this? Should I use a fork or a spoon? I’m so confused! Wait, I just had an idea. It’s so wacky, it just might work. May I present for your consideration: the spork.

Okay, so it’s really not that crazy, and you’ll probably be safe with just a spoon. Häagen Dazs has stuck desserts into their ice cream before, like banana split. This seems to be their first foray into pie territory, however. Caramel Apple Pie is a limited edition flavor, although there’s no indication on Häagen Dazs’ website of how long it will be around, so you better hurry up and get some because it could be gone TOMORROW. (It will probably not be gone tomorrow.)

Häagen-Dazs describes caramel apple pie as such: “A classic à la mode dessert blended together to create an all-in-one indulgence. Smooth apple ice cream with a hint of cinnamon is delicately swirled with diced fresh apples, flakey pie crust, and rich caramel.”

Yep, that sounds like a pie in an ice cream, all right. Single ladies, rejoice – the next time you get dumped by a guy who was obviously a jerk and all wrong for you anyway, all you need is a spoon and a pint of Häagen Dazs Caramel Apple Pie. No more messing with plates, pie cutters and ice cream scoops.

Caramel Apple Pie contains real sugar, real apples and no trans fat, so you can pretend you’re eating something not completely unhealthy as sit on your couch crying and watching You’ve Got Mail for the 7,000 time.

A half cup of the Häagen-Dazs Caramel Apple Pie ice cream has 250 calories, 14 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 65 milligrams of cholesterol, 110 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 24 grams of sugar, 3 grams of protein, 10% vitamin A and 8% calcium.

REVIEW: Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Bananas Foster

The main ingredients that make up the hoity-toity dessert, Bananas Foster, is bananas, vanilla ice cream and the warm sauce that tops it all. Sounds good, right? But that’s not the best part. The sauce is made from butter, brown sugar, dark rum, and banana liqueur. That sounds even better, but that’s not the best part. The best part is when the alcohol is added and it ignites like an outdoor Weber grill filled with lighter fluid-soaked pieces of charcoal.

As you can see, Bananas Foster is a dessert made with ingredients that all sorts of folks will enjoy. Sweet tooths will love the ice cream, alcoholics will love the rum, monkeys will love the bananas and pyromaniacs will love the fire. Unfortunately, the Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Bananas Foster Ice Cream doesn’t include the fiery theatrics of the dessert it attempts to emulate, but it does have the bananas, sugar AND rum.

Yes, there is actual rum in this concoction, but it’s listed at the bottom of the ingredients list, which means you’ll get diarrhea way before you get drunk if you attempt to get hammered with this ice cream.

The Häagen-Dazs Bananas Foster Ice Cream is made up of two components: banana ice cream and brown sugar rum swirls. It smells like banana bread, but tastes like heaven, if the clouds in heaven were yellow and they rained brown sugar and cinnamon and occasionally spritzed rum. The banana ice cream has a strong flavor, but thankfully it isn’t artificial, like most of Heidi Montag’s body. The banana, brown sugar, cinnamon and rum create an awesome, creamy combination that will help you forget about an ex-boyfriend or any other stereotypical scenario seen in movies or on television where eating ice cream is used to help one cope or as encouragement for children to be victorious in the sport they are participating in.

I can’t say whether or not this ice cream tastes like Bananas Foster because I’m too poor to eat at any of the fine dining establishments that offer the dessert and, just like cavemen and mummies, I’m terrified of fire.

However, if Bananas Foster tastes just as titillating as the Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Bananas Foster Ice Cream, I’ll look forward to the day when I can afford to eat at a fine dining establishment, be called “sir” by the employees, drink out of real crystal glasses that make noises when glide my finger around the rim and, after building up some courage, order Bananas Foster — with a side order of fire extinguisher.

(Nutrition Facts – 1/2 cup – 240 calories, 13 grams of fat, 8 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 70 milligrams of cholesterol, 75 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 23 grams of sugar, 4 grams of protein, 8% vitamin A and 10% calcium.)

Item: Limited Edition Häagen-Dazs Bananas Foster
Price: $3.99
Size: 14 ounces
Purchased at: Safeway
Rating: 9 out of 10
Pros: Damn good. Smells like banana bread. Banana ice cream doesn’t have an artificial taste. Creamy good. Will help you forget about exes and encourage children to be victorious in sports, if you believe what you seen on television or in the movies.
Cons: Can’t get drunk off of the rum in the ice cream. This ice cream doesn’t have any fiery theatrics. Only available until December. Doesn’t come in a full pint size. Heidi Montag before her plastic surgery. Heidi Montag after her plastic surgery. Fire.