Method Laundry Concentrated Detergent

Method Laundry

I love living on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, but living here has its share of disadvantages.

For example, I can’t take long road trips here. On the mainland, you can drive to another state or another country and see something different. For example, if you live in California, you can drive to Las Vegas to go gambling at the ungodly hour of 4 a.m. or drive to Mexico to get drunk off of cheap tequila and experience Montezuma’s Revenge because you were so drunk that you actually drank water from Mexico.

Here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, you can’t drive very far, unless you enjoy going around and around in huge circles.

Another disadvantage is getting sand trapped in places you don’t want sand to be. I’m pretty sure this is not a problem for people in such states as Montana, Oklahoma, and either of the Dakotas. Chafing that involves sand is never good, except when you’re planning to repaint something.

Finally, there aren’t any Red Circle Boutiques here. We’ve got three World Dominating Superstore Behemoths and two “The ‘K’ Stands For Krap” Superstores, but no Red Circle Boutiques.

Unfortunately, I’m not expecting one to open up soon because I think it’s impossible to build a Red Circle Boutique here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, because if someone does, this rock will sink like Atlantis.

The reason why I’d like to have a Red Circle Boutique on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean is because I’d have easy access to Method cleaning products. There aren’t any places here that sell them. Sure, I could buy them online, but I’m too much of a cheap bastard to pay for shipping.

Fortunately, friend/Impulsive Buy junkie Akiko bought some Method products for me while on a trip to the Dirty South (Do the kids still call it the “Dirty South?”). Actually, she only bought me the Method hand soap, which I reviewed a few months back.

(Editor’s Note: Oops, actually, Akiko also bought me Method dishwashing detergent and bathroom cleaner. I forgot about them in the closet. You know what they say, “Out of sight, out of mind.” I suck as a friend.)

Recently, Akiko gave me her slightly used bottle of Method Laundry Concentrated Detergent. She gave it to me because she didn’t care much for the overwhelming Morning Bloom scent. Although, I have my suspicions that she gave me the bottle because she wanted to drop the hint that I need to wash my clothes more often instead of recycling my worn clothes out of my laundry basket.

Hey, I just follow the two rules of recycling worn clothes:

1. If it doesn’t have stains, out of the washer it remains.
2. If worn clothes has no smell, no one else will be able to tell.

One of the first things I liked about the Method detergent was the fact it’s concentrated. With only 32 ounces of detergent, it’s much lighter than the smallest container offered by other liquid detergent brands, which usually contain about 100 ounces. This makes a big difference because I’m out of shape, or more specifically, I’m weak, like Popeye without spinach and Screech from Saved by the Bell.

Since it’s concentrated, the Method detergent can still deliver the same amount of laundry loads as the other brands’ 100-ounce containers, which turns out to be about 32 loads of laundry.

Method Laundry Video

One of the neatest things about the bottle is that it has a self-measuring cap. Just flip the cap lid, squeeze the bottle, measure the amount of detergent, and then pour. (To see a clip of the self-measuring cap in action, just click the picture on the right. Quicktime format – 1 MB)

I tried to test its stain fighting power, but nowadays I hardly stain my clothes, since I don’t referee bikini mud wrestling anymore.

As for the Morning Bloom scent, I didn’t find it overwhelming, like Akiko did. I thought it was a pleasant smell and smelled better than the big-name brand stuff I usually use, but it definitely didn’t smell morning-ish. Of course, my mornings usually smell like “Oh crap, I have to get up.”

Overall, I liked the Method detergent, especially the self-measuring cap. Maybe I’ll start washing my clothes more often, just so that I can play with the self-measuring cap.


Item: Method Laundry Concentrated Detergent
Purchase Price: $8.00
Rating: 4 out of 5
Pros: Kick ass self-measuring cap. Concentrated. Nice scent. Biodegradable.
Cons: Scent maybe overwhelming for some. No Red Circle Boutiques on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Lame road trips. Sand in my crack.

Hefty HandySaks

Hefty HandySaks

Being the editor of a quasi-product review blog, I feel it is sometimes my duty to be an advocate for consumers. Today, it is one of those times, as I determine whether or not Hefty is lying to us.

According to the packaging for their HandySaks, they have “101 On The Go Uses.”

How can a product have 101 uses? I can’t think of another product that even comes close to that many uses. For example, a condom. With it you can have protected sex, make water balloons, pull it over your head and try to blow it up, stick it on a doorknob as a practical joke, make condom animals, and that’s about it.

I’m thinking Hefty said “101 uses” because they figured no one in their right mind would actually try to come up with 101 uses.

Hello, Hefty, I am no one in their right mind.

So for the past couple of hours, I have tried to come up with as many uses for these HandySaks as possible.

Here’s what I have:

  1. Trash bag
  2. Head cover for the ugly person you’re having sex with
  3. Barf bag
  4. Walrus condom
  5. Plastic overalls for a child
  6. Shower cap
  7. The worst mask you could ever use to rob a bank
  8. Cheapest bowling ball bag EVER
  9. Drool collector
  10. Deadly weapon
  11. Worst replacement for car airbag
  12. Dog muzzle
  13. Ineffective umbrella
  14. Something contestants must eat during Fear Factor episode
  15. Imaginary friend
  16. Dandruff catcher
  17. Bib
  18. Portable Potty
  19. Barbie parachute
  20. Cell phone static sound maker
  21. Blindfold
  22. Elephant condom
  23. Noisy bra stuffer
  24. Dog poop collector
  25. Temporary aquarium
  26. Hide porn purchases
  27. Unsafe ghost costume for children
  28. Replacement KKK hood
  29. Tank top
  30. Clothes hamper
  31. Worst balloon ever at the Macy’s Day Parade
  32. Surrender flag
  33. Ashlee Simpson muzzle
  34. Punching bag
  35. Replacement for feather in the next Forrest Gump movie
  36. A place to stash your weed
  37. Diaper bag
  38. Something to put on your doorknob to let your roommate know you’re getting it on
  39. Hobo purse
  40. Chihuahua carrier
  41. Horse condom
  42. Water bucket
  43. Noisy crotch stuffer
  44. Fog camouflage
  45. Bonnet
  46. Protect bald heads from sunlight
  47. Cheap fake Santa beard
  48. Wind measurer
  49. Michael Jackson face mask
  50. Trash
  51. Armpit sweat collectors
  52. Floatation device
  53. Dishwashing gloves
  54. Bondage toy
  55. Environmental hazard
  56. The new tumbleweed
  57. The new black
  58. Sea life strangler
  59. Hyperventilation aid
  60. American Idol contestant
  61. A cloud in a diorama
  62. Corny car antenna decoration
  63. Marvo condom
  64. A place to store old toenail clippings
  65. Temporary Underwater Breathing Apparatus (TUBA) (Thanks Lou)
  66. Hobo shoes (Thanks Lou)
  67. Sack for sack races (Thanks Lou)
  68. Hang it on wall and use it as a shelf-sack (Thanks Lou)
  69. Backpack (Thanks Lou)
  70. Wedding favors (Thanks Mir)
  71. Insulation (Thanks frymaster)
  72. Balloon (Thanks jenny)
  73. Ghetto Car Windshield (Thanks Damon)
  74. A bag to stick bags into (Thanks Mellie)
  75. Ghetto car bra (Thanks Webmiztris)
  76. Ugly dress (Thanks Webmiztris)
  77. Put under sheets to protect mattress from pee stains (Thanks Webmiztris)
  78. Keep your feet dry when you’re wearing leaky boots (Thanks Webmiztris)
  79. Suitcase substitute for poor people (Thanks Webmiztris)
  80. Big Foot’s Socks (Thanks Goldberry)
  81. Grape squishing shoes (Thanks Goldberry)
  82. Vet gloves (before they stuff their arms into a horse) (Thanks Goldberry)
  83. A pocket bib (Thanks Goldberry)
  84. Granny Panties (Thanks Goldberry)
  85. A jump rope out of ALL the bags in the package (Thanks Goldberry)

As you can see, I came up with only 64 uses, which is still a lot, but not the 101 uses Hefty advertised. Maybe I’m just lazy and there are many more uses for it.

Well let’s find out. Can you come up with more uses?

Update: Okay, okay, okay. Apparently, there ARE over 101 uses for these Hefty HandySaks. I’ll admit Hefty, I was wrong and you were right. I’m sorry, I will never doubt you again. You ARE waaaay better than Glad.


Item: Hefty HandySaks
Purchase Price: $1.04
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Loose-change-in-couch-cheap. Handy. Condensed. Lots of uses.
Cons: Bags are shaped weird. Lots of uses, but not 101 uses.

All Revitalizer Cloths

All Revitalizer Cloths

Last night was the first and only time I really wanted soooo badly to be around smokers to inhale second-hand smoke.

It all started when I was asked by a friend if I wanted to go to the finals of an ultimate bartending competition at this place.

At first, I wasn’t interested because I have this fear of situations where there is a pretty good possibility of getting hit square in the face by a glass bottle. However, after thinking about it for a moment, I realized that it would be a great opportunity to see if these All Revitalizer Cloths can refresh my clothes after being around smokers.

Editor’s Note: Going to the bartending competition was also the reason why this review was a little late today.

The purpose of the All Revitalizer Cloths is to refresh the clothes you’ve only worn for a few of hours and don’t want to wash because you’ve only worn them for a few of hours. In other words, it’s for those clothes that you want to wear recycle.

Okay, subjecting my clothes to cigarette smoke was an extreme scenario, but it did give me a good reason to get out of the apartment and become a social butterfly, instead of an antisocial cocoon.

So I decided to go to the competition, but when my friend and I got there at 10:30pm, the place was kind of empty. The competition didn’t start until 11pm and for the first hour there were no smokers around me. This greatly disappointed me.

However, suddenly this beautiful, busty brunette with a lit cigarette in between her fingers approached me. When I looked at her, she pointed at me for some reason. Then she did it again.

Was she flirting with me?

She came closer and with her free hand, she placed it on my shoulder.

I thought to myself, “Damn, I’m hott! This woman is totally flirting with me.”

Then she removed her hand, grabbed the ashtray that was behind me, and then turned around.

I’m soooo NOT hott.

Well at least I had an opportunity to be around second-hand smoke.

Eventually the place got a bit more crowded and a couple more smokers moved into the area where I was being soooo NOT hott.

At about 2:30am, my friend and I left the club. When I got home, I stripped off my clothes and stuck it in the dryer with one of the moist All Revitalizer Cloths.

Twenty minutes later, I pulled my clothes out and took a whiff. Overall it does a decent job in refreshing my clothing. My shirt had a light citrus scent, but I also could still smell a hint of cigarette smoke. The pants I wore also had a light citrus scent, but I couldn’t smell any hint of smoke. As for my underwear, it didn’t matter because I didn’t wear any.

So while hanging up my clothes, I wondered about other situations where the All Revitalizer Cloths would come in handy.

I could only think of one group of people who these would also come in handy for: People having affairs.

Think about it. If you’re having a wild sex romp in the back seat of your car, some of the cologne/perfume the other person is wearing will probably rub onto you and your clothing. The scent that rubs onto you is easy to hide, but the scent that rubs onto your clothing isn’t.

You could just wash the clothes, but that might make your significant other suspicious, since they might be wondering why you’re doing laundry in the middle of dinner. Or you could burn the clothes, but buying new clothes every other day can get pretty expensive.

So I think the All Revitalizer Cloths is a discreet and inexpensive way to hide your affairs.


Item: All Revitalizer Cloths
Purchase Price: $3.99
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Nice light scent. Easy to use. Discreet and inexpensive way to hide affairs.
Cons: Can’t use with large loads of clothes, seven items max. Mixed results.
Standing naked in front of a dryer waiting for clothes is soooo NOT hott.

REVIEW: Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags

Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags

Editor’s Note: Sorry for the late review today. The Impulsive Buy had to do some extra testing with today’s product to see if they would make great ghost costumes for kids. Long story short, they definitely do not, especially if the drawstrings are pulled.

The Impulsive Buy’s goal is to be just like the 800-pound gorilla of the product review world, Consumer Reports.

However, it’s hard to be like them when we aren’t very thorough with our reviews, some of the reviews contain sexual situations, we don’t have good grammar, and we like to excessively use the word “BOOBIES.”

Heck, we aren’t even as good as those compulsive reviewers at Amazon and Epinions, who have written reviews for hundreds of products.

Actually, to be honest, we really don’t want to be like Consumer Reports. I know we just said we wanted to be just like them, but all we want is their kick-ass multi-million dollar testing facility.

They have goggle-wearing scientists, state-of-the-art machines, and a frickin’ car testing track. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the white lab coats, beakers, and test tubes.

Here at the Impulsive Buy we have ONLY ONE lab coat that I stole when I was taking Chemistry 151 Lab.

But alas, the Impulsive Buy doesn’t have a kick-ass multi-million dollar testing facility, so we have to be creative when testing products.

For example, take today’s product, Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags. I’m sure in the Consumer Reports kick-ass testing facility they have scientists who use state-of-the-art stretching machinery that can exactly determine how much the Glad ForceFlex can stretch.

Here at the Impulsive Buy, we have bupkis. So because we don’t have a computerized stretching machine, I decided to test the Glad ForceFlex using the demanding test of trash bag races. You know, like potato sack races except with trash bags.

I didn’t think conducting a trash bag race would’ve given us an accurate measure of how stretchable the Glad ForceFlex is, but it sounded more fun than some expensive machine.

So to accomplish this, I called up some friends who I thought might be interested in helping me for the greater good of consumers.

Unfortunately when I called them, all I heard was, “No way,” “That’s so lame,” “Um, no,” and “You know the restraining order prevents you from calling me.”

Since no one wanted to participate in the Glad ForceFlex trash bag races, I had to do it on my own, just like my sex life.

What makes the Glad ForceFlex so special is the unique diamond texture that stretches around objects to help prevent rips and tears. That diamond texture sure did stretch around my feet as I placed them into one of the ForceFlex bags.

So after stepping inside one of the bags, I hopping around the Impulsive Buy like a rabbit on crack for several minutes. Despite my constant hopping, the ForceFlex bag didn’t tear. But my constant hopping did cause me to become very winded, very quickly.

So what did I learn from my experiment? I learned that these Glad ForceFlex bags are very durable and that I’m out of shape.

Item: Glad ForceFlex Kitchen Trash Bags
Purchase Price: $5.99
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Drawstrings. Durable. Stretchable.
Cons: No ForceFlex trash bag relay races. I’m out of shape. Makes bad ghost costumes for kids.

REVIEW: Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash

methodsoap

Do you know a relative, friend, co-worker, or mistress who’s a little too obsessive compulsive? Sure, we all know one.

They wash their hands over 30 times a day; have a Costco-sized bottle of waterless hand sanitizer on their desk; opens public restroom doors with a paper towel; puts enough layers of sanitary covers on a toilet seat that it provides a slight cushion; or uses Lysol on EVERYTHING.

Well if you have yet to get that person a Christmas gift, what better gift to give them than the gift of cleanliness.

Might I suggest the Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash.

Editor’s Note, Part Two: Um…For you smokers of the ganja, there is no correlation between the name Method and the fact that the color of this hand wash is green. Method products come in a wide range of colors.

I’ve been a really big fan of Method products for a while, although to be honest I’ve never used any of their products until now.

The reason why I didn’t try any was because I couldn’t get my dirty hands on Method products here on this rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean (We so desperately need a Target). However, Impulsive Buy groupie Akiko gave me some.

Editor’s Note, Part Three: Um…When I say, “she gave me some,” I meant she gave me a bottle of Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash. Just thought I’d clear that up, since she is an Impulsive Buy groupie.

I think I became a fan of Method products after reading an article about them in one of the Business 2.0 issues I stole from my doctor’s office.

I’m a fan because their products come in nice curvy bottles and I’m sucker for things that have curves, like Catherine Zeta Jones and the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Another reason is because their products are biodegradable, non-toxic, naturally derived, and aren’t tested on animals, which satisfies my tree-hugging side. Finally, I like the company because its name starts with the letter “M.”

As for the Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash, besides being green in color and environmentally-friendly, it smells really good.

So what does green tea combined with aloe smell like? It smells clean. It’s not fruity, flowery, or girly. It just smells clean.

Just the way obsessive-compulsive people like to smell.

If you think about it, our obsessive-compulsive friends maybe on to something with all of this cleanliness. Think about all the things that get touched a lot on a daily basis by people. You don’t know what kind of people they are or where these people have been.

Imagine all the germs on these things, like doorknobs, money, elevator buttons, handrails, and Paris Hilton.

Item: Method Green Tea + Aloe Hand Wash
Purchase Price: FREE (retail price $4.00)
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Clean scent. Environmentally friendly. Nice curvy bottle. Oh yeah, let me feel those curves on that bottle. Oh yeah, let me feel those curves on the Pillsbury Dough Boy. Teehehehehe.
Cons: Kind of pricey for hand soap. Can’t get it here in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.