REVIEW: Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek Toothpaste

Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek Toothpaste

Hey, partner! Are you ready for an adventure? Let’s go! Jump on the back of this train! Shhh, we’re stowaways! Avoid the lions! Climb a mountain! Keep hydrated! Crack a whip! Look, our trusty sidekick Short Round is here! (Holy Moly! Hi, it’s me!) Down the waterfall! Oh no, snakes! We hate snakes. We’re at the secret cave! The treasure is behind this rock. Let’s push it! Help us out, Short Round! (Okie!) Whoa! The treasure is … a tube of toothpaste! The treasure is a tube of toothpaste? The treasure is a tube of toothpaste.

Oh hell no. (My teeth clean already! How ‘bout yours?)

This is the “adventure”? (Look! It’s mint chocolate!) Hmmm. All right, Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek. Chocolate toothpaste is maybe a little bit of an adventure if you squint. Let’s check this toothpaste out.

The first question is: Who is this for? The packaging is crafted, muted, and detailed. The colors used are tasteful. Adventurous is one of three in the Crest Be line of toothpastes. The others are Inspired and Dynamic. These aren’t child words. I suppose you don’t want to confuse kids by throwing them into the deep end of mint chocolate toothpaste, lest end up having them cake their teeth with Nutella before bed and thinking that’s hygiene when the babysitter is on watch. Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek is for adults. Adults who know about toothpaste rules and want to deny toothpaste rules. It’s a way to start your day or your night with a kick of fake “rebellion.”

Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek Toothpaste Closeup

It looks like mint chocolate chip ice cream, with a light green base specked with bits of brown. (Tastes like ice cream too!) Oh, Short Round is still here. Yes, it tastes a little bit like it too, at least like the mass produced Baskin-Robbins version of the flavor. Maybe that says more about the state of ice cream than it does this toothpaste. But most of all it smells like it. It smells like what mint chocolate chip ice cream smells like in my memory, like some Willy Wonka monstrosity. Oh, here come the Oompa Loompas. They’re carrying away Short Round. Strange…he’s going willingly. (Bye bye!) Okay, have fun, kid.

It’s not that bad tasting. The toothpaste is a cool mint, less sharp than other mentholated toothpastes. This is probably for the ability to showcase the hint of chocolate, which can be compared to the dulled chocolate taste of an Oreo wafer. Actually, the entire brushing experience can be sort of compared to grinding up a bunch of holiday Oreos and sticking them in your mouth and then spitting them back out.

It does feel a little strange/exciting to smear what tastes like chocolate all over my teeth. The weirdest part is the cognitive dissonance. My instincts say to consume some cookies, but my brain reminds me to eject it, resulting in feeling both teased and unsatisfied. A little bit like cookies ‘n cream methadone. The chocolate taste pairs pretty well with the mint, dissipating quickly, and less than five minutes after brushing, the mouth feels like it was brushed with any ol’ mint toothpaste.

Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek Toothpaste Box

It costs almost six bucks for a smallish tube, which is not a lot if you consider it an “adventure” as Crest does. (I do not!) Short Round is back! What’s up, dude? (I stab orange boy and he just lay there. I cut green hair off and make wig!) Oh, you did. We’ll have to dump that body later. Did you try the toothpaste, Short Round? (Oh yeah!) What did you think? (Taste okay but seems silly. You want chocolate, eat chocolate. Don’t be stupid. Novelty is novelty!)

Sounds about right. (Real “adventure.” Yeah right, Crest.) Haha. (You want to explore unknown? Go explore true unknown. Death!) Oh, boy. I think I’m off board on that one. (Why? We all going to die. Accept it. Sweet release!) Okay. Well, that’s all for us. And for the record Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek Toothpaste is better than death. (That opinion!)

Item: Crest Be Adventurous Mint Chocolate Trek Toothpaste
Purchased Price: $5.49
Size: 4.5 oz tube
Purchased at: CVS
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pretty smooth, balanced flavoring. Is reminiscent of Oreo cookies. Smearing chocolate on your teeth without guilt.
Cons: Pangs in stomach from “eating” candy, but not eating candy. Not sure why it exists. Costs more than regular toothpaste. Not really an adventure.

REVIEW: One A Day Men’s VitaCraves Gummies

One A Day Men's VitaCraves Gummies

It’s pretty hard, growing up and being obligated to cast away a lot of the things you enjoyed as a kid.

Not that I don’t cling to my inner child like a life preserver, but there are still a few facets of youth that are rather difficult to carry on into adulthood. Things like tall glasses of milk, bubblegum flavored toothpaste, SpongeBob Band-Aids, and Flintstones vitamins.

Graduating to the bitter pill from basically a chewable candy was one of the hardest transitions I had to make into manhood. But is it still necessary?

You may already know the score from the One A Day VitaCraves Gummies review in 2009. One A Day has been gradually expanding their line gummy vitamins for adults, recently coming out with two new blends tailored to specialize in men’s and woman’s health, much like their already existent Men’s and Women’s Formula pills.

I picked up a rather expensive bottle of 50 gummies and a box of Men’s Health Formula, and was saddened to see how many vitamins were omitted in the making of the gummy blend.

The gummies are, in fact, completely trumped nutritionally by their pill counterparts. Straying away from their definitive brand name, it is also still required to consume Two A Day instead of One, which halves that 50-count to a mere 25 doses.

They still come in three fantastic fruit flavors – apple, cherry, and blue raspberry, which were all true to their pleasing but generic artificial taste.

One A Day Men's VitaCraves Gummies Closeup

They’re similar to real gummies enough to tempt me into having more than the suggested amount, but with a very light bitterness that sort of reminds me of cough syrup. They’re also slightly chewy, a non-issue for people like myself that grew up on Haribo Gummi Bears.

After I polish off this bottle in under a month, I probably won’t be coming back to One A Day Men’s VitaCraves Gummies. They’re tasty, to be sure, but at almost $9 a bottle, I’d sooner stick with my Kirkland Signature Daily Multi.

(Supplement Facts – 2 gummies – 15 calories, 3 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of sugar, 4 000 IU of Vitamin A, 75 milligrams of Vitamin C, 400 IU of Vitamin D, 30 IU of Vitamin E, 5 milligrams of Vitamin B6, 400 mcg of Folic Acid, 15 mcg of Vitamin B12, 600 mcg of Biotin, 10 milligrams of Pantothenic Acid, 150 mcg of Iodine, 5 milligrams of Zinc, 110 mcg of Selenium, 60 mcg of Choline, 40 mcg of Insitol)

Item: One A Day Men’s VitaCraves Gummies
Purchased Price: $8.79
Size: 50 tummies
Purchased at: Publix
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Taste enough like gummy fruit snacks. Real supplement nutrition. High levels of B vitamins. Flintstones vitamins.
Cons: Still slightly bitter. Trumped by One A Day Men’s Health Formula. Taking Two instead of One A Day. Ridiculously overpriced. Bitter pills.

NEWS: ZzzQuil Is Not A Fake Product Made Up By The Onion

ZzzQuil

Update: Click here to read our Vicks ZzzQuil review

You know how on the packaging for NyQuil there’s a warning to let people know they shouldn’t be operating heavy machinery after taking it. Well, the folks at Vicks NyQuil have a new product that shouldn’t be taken before operating any heavy machinery — ZzzQuil.

I’m not making that name up. That is what this new over-the-counter sleeping aid to help occasional sleeplessness is called.

The active ingredient in ZzzQuil is diphenhydramine HCI. According to the ZzzQuil website, the diphenhydramine acts as an antihistamine blah, blah, blah… Ugh. That explanation is so boring, it’s putting me to sleep. I guess ZzzQuil is so powerful that explaining it makes me drowsy.

While ZzzQuil comes from the same folks who brought us the sleep inducing, NyQuil, it doesn’t help with colds or the flu like NyQuil does. ZzzQuil comes in a berry-flavored liquid version and in LiquiCap form.

NEWS: Dial For Men Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel Has A Long Name For A Body Wash

Dial For Men Speed Foam Body WashUpdate: Click here to watch our Dial for Men Speed Foam video review

Dial for Men’s Speed Foam Body Wash Foaming Gel has been available for a couple of weeks, but I didn’t notice it until I saw a coupon for it in the Sunday newspaper.

Ever since I learned about it, I’ve been trying to wrap my head around the idea of a foaming gel. So does it work like Edge Shaving Gel, which starts expanding and turning into foam once it’s dispensed?

According to its bottle, it proudly boasts, “No shower pouf needed.” So I guess with Speed Foam, I don’t need any kind of shower pouf or wash cloth to create foam and to clean my body. Instead, I just use my hands.

But without the pouf, how am I going to exfoliate my skin? Also, if I’m using only my hands, how am I going to wash that one spot on my back I can’t quite reach? What about my butt crack? That means I have to wash my butt crack with only my hands. I don’t feel comfortable with that.

With Speed Foam, Dial claims men will reach the ultimate clean faster and easier than ever.

Dial Speed Foam is able to dispense enough foaming gel for 40 washes and comes in three scents: Active Sport, Arctic Refresh, and Ultra Clean. It’s available nationwide for a suggested retail price of $5.99.

REVIEW: Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening

Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening

Whoa, a toothpaste review! I know what questions are swirling in your head. “Is it bacon flavored? Did I accidentally visit theresponsiblebuy.com? What’s next, advice on my 401(k)?” No, no, and you can’t go wrong with index funds. Occasionally, TIB likes to offer reviews for products that can cleanse your bodies of all the sweets and fats we usually recommend. And since all of our Taco Bell posts already double as laxative reviews and I refuse to try out the Shake Weight until after a third date, I figured a toothpaste review best fits the bill.

According to the Colgate website, the new MaxClean with SmartFoam can clean hard to reach places because it has 30 percent more penetrating foam than regular toothpaste. For the purposes of this review, I guess we’ll just assume that more foam actually is better for cleaning your teeth, even though a quick Google search provides unsatisfactory evidence. I’ll also assume that Colgate decided to use this specific combination of capitalization and spacing in the product title because it somehow makes the toothpaste better at cleaning your teeth, and NOT because they wanted to make me incredibly angry by randomly mangling basic rules of English. A quick Google search on this question also provides unsatisfactory evidence, so I’ll let you decide which of these assumptions is a bigger stretch.

Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening Naked

MaxClean with SmartFoam had a classically pleasant electric blue color, and the intensity of its mint flavor was pretty standard toothpaste fare. But within 20 seconds of brushing, I could notice a significant difference in foaminess. “30% extra foam” may have been a serious underestimation, as I had a really hard time not letting the foam dribble out of my mouth. After I was done brushing, my mouth felt much cleaner and tingly-er than it normally does. I suppose the toothpaste actually could have cleaned more hard to reach places than my regular toothpaste does; more likely, the overflow of foam just reached a greater surface area around my face and left my mouth feeling zestier more on the outside than within. Even if it’s the second explanation, I think that’s a big positive – in addition to cleaning my teeth, I want my toothpaste to make me feel refreshed after I use it.

On the negative side, the overflow of foam means I probably left dried toothpaste spots all around the sink and annoyed my roommate. Sorry about that, David. Oh, and thanks for buying toilet paper last week. If I wrote for theresponsiblebuy.com I would probably remember to buy basic household necessities at the supermarket instead of walking around the snack aisles asking the store associates if they know whether the next shipment of Twinkies will include the Strawberry Crème ones. (They never know.)

Anyway, if you’re like me and want your toothpaste to help you feel awake and refreshed in the morning, definitely buy the Colgate MaxClean SmartFoam. If you’re skeptical about the assumption that more foam is actually better for your teeth, find a good scientific answer and let us know. And if you’d prefer for me to go back to reviewing greasy and ridiculous foods, come back in two weeks and I promise I’ll revert to form. Who knows, maybe those Strawberry Crème Twinkies will finally have arrived!

Item: Colgate Effervescent Mint MaxClean SmartFoam with Whitening
Price: $2.50
Size: 6 ounces
Purchased at: Kmart
Rating: 7 out of 10
Pros: Produces a lot of extra foam. Leaves your mouth feeling cleaner (even if it’s not really any cleaner). Theresponsiblebuy.com. Index funds for your 401(k). Shake Weight commercials. My roommate buying toilet paper last week.
Cons: Unclear if more foam is better for your teeth. Capitalization and spacing of the product title makes me angry. Leaving dried toothpaste spots everywhere. Creeping out the supermarket store associates.