NEWS: New NyQuil Flavor Gives Cold Sufferers Another Option Besides Blech and Double Blech

Day 233 / 365 - Nyquil! Finally, sweet sleep...

I personally don’t like taking NyQuil in LiquiCap form. It’s easier to take, but I don’t get the alcoholic warmth that slowly coats my digestive system when I take a shot of it in liquid form. It’s soothing and it feels like my mommy is rubbing my chest from the inside.

The only problem I’ve had with Liquid NyQuil was the fact that there were only two flavors: red and green. Yes, I don’t remember what the flavors actually are because they both taste horrible. But, I think, if I use their colors as a clue, they might be cherry and car air freshener. But now there’s a new flavor I can use to get nighttime relief from coughing, sore throats, headaches, minor aches and pains, fevers, runny noses and sneezing, and for helping me fall asleep whenever I run out of sleeping pills.

Vicks NyQuil Vanilla Cherry Swirl sounds like liquid candy, but it’s got the same levels of acetaminophen, dextromethorphan, doxylamine succinate and alcohol that are found in the original red and green flavors.

It’s available in 10-ounce bottles.

NEWS: Tubeless Toilet Paper Could Reduce The Amount of Crappy Kids Craft Projects You Throw Away

Kimberly-Clark introduced this week Scott Naturals Tube-Free, a toilet paper roll without the inner cardboard roll.

While it’s great for the environment, if the TP technology is successful and other companies follow suit, it could equate to a drop in the number of times parents have to put on a fake smile and pretend to be proud of their child when they bring home a crappy craft project they made in school using toilet paper rolls, construction paper and glue.

The tubeless rolls are made using a “special winding process.” While the roll’s hole won’t be perfectly round, it will fit on any toilet paper spindle. But that’s just a small price to pay so that you’ll have fewer toilet paper animals, toilet paper flowers and toilet paper rockets to throw away when you have to make room for your child’s elbow macaroni art.

The Scott Naturals Tube-Free toilet paper is currently available at Walmart and Sam’s Club stores throughout the northeastern U.S.

REVIEW: Bath & Body Works Signature Collection for Men Body Wash (Noir, Citron and Ocean)

Bath & Body Works Signature Collection Body Wash for Men (Noir, Citron and Ocean)

When it comes to ogling young female customers and employees, getting close enough to smell them or maybe accidentally bumping into them at a shopping mall, Bath & Body Works is the third best store to do so. It’s right behind Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21.

Although it lacks lingerie, which the other two have, what places Bath & Body Works in the top three is the fact they’re the only one of the three that has a men’s section, which unlike the other two, gives men a good reason to enter the store. But it’s extremely small and I believe it’s only there to lure men into using the product testers so that the women in the store can use their sense of smell to detect if a possible pervert is nearby attempting to smell or bump into them.

Recently, Bath & Body Works added a line of signature collection men’s products, which include colognes, body sprays and body washes. The line consists of four scents: Noir, Citron, Ocean and Oak. Because the female Bath & Body Works employee I was ogling said she liked the Noir, Citron and Ocean scents the most, those were the ones I purchased in body wash form.

The same employee was also my cashier and I have to say it was fastest anyone has ever rang me up. There was no asking me if I need lip balm or if I want to sign up for their mailing list. I guess I should ogle the cashier whenever I buy stuff from Best Buy, so they won’t offer me their product protection plan.

The body wash’s bottle is the same 10-ounce one the women’s body wash come in, except instead of a pretty chrome cap, it comes with a manly black cap screwed on top. Thanks to the sodium lauryl sulfate, the body washes lather up really nice. Each body wash also contains aloe vera and nourishing oils, so if you hate feeling like your body isn’t completely rinsed off, I’d suggest not wasting your money on these men’s Bath & Body Works body washes just so that you can ogle and flirt with a Bath & Body Works employee.

Their fragrances aren’t nearly as strong as those from Axe, but they also don’t make me smell like a 15-year-old boy. Their scent lingered on my body for around 45 minutes after stepping out of the shower. On the Bath & Body Works website they list the key fragrance notes I should be smelling with each variation. Citron has crisp bergamot, sage, lemon zest, brisk woods, tonka bean and sandalwood; Ocean has bergamot, cypress, nutmeg, patchouli, cedarwood and vetiver; and Noir has sage, coriander, cardamom, white vanilla, vetiver and amber musk.

Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t know what half of that stuff is, so let me break it down using words I don’t have to look up on Wikipedia.

Citron has a light, citrus fragrance with a little bit of spice. It’s a crisp, pleasant scent and probably my favorite of the three. Ocean has a sweet, slightly fruity odor and I think it’s more of a unisex scent than a manly one. Noir is the most manly smelling of the bunch. It’s a bold, musky scent I imagine James Bond would wear. It’s also bold enough to be the best scent to help female Bath & Body Works shoppers sense when a perv is trying to get close to them.

Item: Bath & Body Works Signature Collection for Men Body Wash (Noir, Citron and Ocean)
Price: $10.50 each
Size: 10 ounces
Purchased at: Bath & Body Works (Mall of America)
Rating: 6 out of 10 (Noir)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Citron)
Rating: 7 out of 10 (Ocean)
Pros: Pleasant, non-overpowering scents. Lathers nicely. Not tested on animals. Doesn’t make me smell like a 15-year-old boy like Axe does. Scent lingers on body for about 45 minutes after stepping out of the shower. Not getting asked by the cashier to sign up for mailing lists or if I’m interested in buying additional products.
Cons: Almost twice the price as regular men’s body washes. Noir’s scent can help Bath & Body Works shoppers know when a perv is getting close. Oils in the body wash makes it feel like you haven’t completely rinsed everything off. Getting kicked out of Victoria’s Secret and Forever 21. Not knowing what bergamot, brisk woods, tonka bean, cypress, patchouli, vetiver and amber musk is.

VIDEO REVIEW: Nair for Men Hair Remover Spray


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Show Notes:

The Impulsive Buy podcast has gone in a different direction. No more news and week in review segments. It’s now just one review. I decided to do this because it makes the podcast easier to produce, since I am just one hairy man. Speaking of hairiness, this week, I review a product that makes my body as smooth as a pre-pubescent boy’s.

Also, I know. I forgot to deinterlace.

Length: 2:44

Photo Credits:

Other photos purchased via www.istockphoto.com.

REVIEW: Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash

Dear James Cameron,

I’ve never seen your billion dollar blockbuster Titanic. You can blame Celine Dion for that. But I recently paid over fifteen dollars to watch your latest billion dollar blockbuster Avatar in 3D, so it seems you finally got your money from me that you should’ve gotten with Titanic. Even though I gave up the possibility of eating three Subway footlong sandwiches to watch your movie, I would like to thank you for creating Avatar.

I’m not thanking you because I think Avatar is the greatest movie ever, nor am I thanking you for giving me a strong geek hard-on that I haven’t had since my lightsaber rose with excitement before seeing The Phantom Menace. I’m thanking you because I can now use your movie to help me describe the new Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash.

If Avatar didn’t exist, I would’ve used the Smurfs or the Blue Man Group.

Now you might be thinking about how I can connect your movie with the Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash. Let me teach you, white-haired one, like how you taught me that I should pee before seeing any three-hour long movie.

The Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash comes in blue color that looks like it could be a Na’vi body fluid. I’m not sure which one, but I guess we may find out in the extra scenes of the Avatar DVD or if the porn industry ever makes an erotic parody of your movie, which will probably either be called Assatar or Analtar. Whichever comes out first, I just hope it’s in high-definition 3D.

The body wash didn’t have a strong scent and it dissipated quickly after I finished my shower, but it’s a pleasant scent that I thought was kind of woodsy. Actually, if you created a way for the audience to smell a movie during your crazy attempt the recreate how films are made, I might be able to say it smells like the Na’vi Hometree. But you didn’t, you underachiever.

Much like how I was stunned by how hot Sigorney Weaver’s avatar looked, I was surprised the product is a combination of body and face wash. Usually, I’ve seen products that combine a body wash with a shampoo, which is probably something more useful to you since you’ve got that mop on your head. I’m not sure what makes it so special that it can also be labeled a face wash. It could be the “micromoisture” technology, but technically any soap can be a face wash.

If you decide that you want to wash yourself with a body wash that looks like a Na’vi body fluid, the Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash is probably your best choice. It smells good, rinses off easily and you might be able to use it as a prop in the Avatar sequel.

Thanks again for making Avatar!

Sincerely,

Marvo

Item: Dove Men+Care Clean Comfort Body and Face Wash
Price: $4.49
Size: 13.5 ounces
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 6 out of 10
Pros: Pleasant woodsy scent. Not a strong scent, so you don’t reek of Na’vi body fluid. Rinses off easily. It’s a combination body and face wash. Sigorney Weaver’s avatar.
Cons: Looks like a Na’vi body fluid. Slightly pricey. Scent doesn’t last very long. Having to hold in your pee until the end of the movie. The eventual porn parody of Avatar. Celine Dion.

NEWS: Pepto-Bismol InstaCool Still Can’t Make Getting Diarrhea Cool

For my heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, nausea and diarrhea, I trust Pepto-Bismol. But only because it rhymes with rectal dismal. I have a lot of faith in medications that rhyme with a symptom I’m feeling.

Their latest product is Pepto-Bismol with InstaCool, which are chewable tablets with a peppermint flavor and cooling sensation. According to Pepto-Bismol, the peppermint and cooling feeling, “lets you know relief is on the way.”

But their old products did the same thing. I think the chalkiness of their original tablets and the sludge-like liquid Pepto-Bismol sliding down my digestive system are great ways to let me know relief is on the way.

Pepto-Bismol with InstaCool is available in quantities of 30 tablets.