NEWS: Smurf Your Smurf With The Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal

Smurfs and Washington Monument

What the smurf?

How can the new Post Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal not have any smurfin’ Smurf Berries? First, Optimus Prime gets a mouth in the Transformers movies. Then, no H.I.S.S. Tanks in the G.I. Joe. movie. It’s as if companies want to ruin my childhood.

The sweetened rice cereal is made up of regular boring tan cereal with Smurf blue-colored cereal. What’s so smurfy about that? You know what would’ve been totally smurfy? Post bringing back Smurf Berry Crunch. I would’ve totally smurfed Smurf Berry Crunch.

The Post Limited Edition The Smurfs Cereal comes in two different boxes. One with Papa Smurf and Smurfette drawn like the 1980s cartoon that would make Peyo proud and another with a computer generated Smurfette and another Smurf. I would totally not Smurf CGI Smurfette.

The cereal is available now and comes in 11-ounce boxes.

Source: Cereal Bits

NEWS: Make Your Upper Palate Raw With Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch

Dark Chocolate 10/26/2007

Despite its possible mouth shredding abilities, I’m a fan of Cap’n Crunch. There’s something about that sweetened golden cereal that makes my tongue set sail for Yum Island. I’m also a fan of chocolate, despite its waist expanding abilities. So I’m excited about the two of them combining to form the new Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch.

It’s not the first time the Cap’n has sailed the ocean blue and came back with a chocolatey treasure. There was Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Donuts, a peanut butter and chocolate Cap’n Crunch, and two different cereals called Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch, one with regular yellow Cap’n Crunch with chocolate puff cereal and another with chocolate flavored Cap’n Crunch, which is what this new cereal looks like.

So Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch is pretty much a renamed Cap’n Crunch’s Choco Crunch. It’s as if Cap’n Crunch sailed to India, brought back fine silk, went back to India, came back from India, and when asked what new items he’s returned with, he shows everyone silk.

The naturally and artificially flavored sweetened corn and oat cereal is made with real cocoa. A 3/4 cup serving has 110 calories, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 125 milligrams of sodium, and 11 grams of sugar. It’s available in 14-ounce boxes.

NEWS: New SoBe Pure Water Is As Pure As Teenage Disney Actors Before They Turn Eighteen

Sobe Pure

Update: Click here to read our SoBe Pure review

I didn’t know electrolytes could have flavor. I thought it just helped rehydrate thirsty people and sell an ocean’s worth of Gatorade. But it appears it does because the label on the new SoBe Pure water says so: “Water + A drop of flavor + Electrolytes for taste.”

SoBe Pure water comes in three flavors: Watermelon, Golden Pineapple, and Black Cherry. All three flavors have no calories, no colors, no preservatives, and no artificial sweeteners. With those statements, you’d think SoBe Pure’s ingredients list would be simple, or pure, if you will.

And it is simple, if you have a chemistry degree. All three flavors contain: water, erythritol, citric acid, natural flavor, calcium lactate, potassium citrate, sea salt, purified stevia extract, tartaric acid, and lactic acid.

An 8-ounce serving of SoBe Pure has 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 30 milligrams of sodium, 4 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein. They’re available in 20-ounce bottles for a limited time only at Target.

NEWS: V8 Makes The Energy Drink Bandwagon A Little Heavier

Energy drinks

To say the energy drink market is crowded would be an understatement. So many companies have jumped on the energy drink bandwagon that I don’t think the bandwagon moves anymore because its wheels have been crushed by the weight of all those companies who want a piece of the multibillion dollar energy drink market. Or the bandwagon might not be moving because Steven Seagal’s energy drinks are as heavy as he is now.

One of the latest companies to jump on the bandwagon is V8.

V8 V-Fusion + Energy drinks are made by combining a blend of vegetable and fruit juices with green tea. The green tea provides 80 milligrams of caffeine, which is the same amount in a skinny can of Red Bull. Each energy drink has 50 calories and don’t contain added sugar. The 2.5-ounce V8 Energy Shots contain a blend of nine vegetable and fruit juices, plus green tea. Each energy shot also provide vitamins A, C, E, and a number of B vitamins.

The V8 V-Fusion + Energy Drinks are available at 2,400 Walmart locations and retail for $3.98 for a six-pack of 8-ounce cans. The beverages come in two flavors — Pomegranate/Blueberry and Peach/Mango. ED Junkie posted a review of the V8 V-Fusion + Energy drinks. The V8 Energy Shots retail for $2.99 and are available at participating locations in Colorado, Florida, and Minnesota.

NEWS: Wrigley’s 5 Swerve And Extra Dessert Delights Apple Pie Will Keep Your Jaw Busy This Fall

Extra Dessert Delights Apple Pie on Shelf

Update: Click here to read our Extra Dessert Delights Apple Pie Gum review

Update 2: Click here to read our Wrigley’s 5 Swerve review

Sometimes I wonder if Wrigley’s 5 Gum should change its name to I Thought I Told You That We Won’t Stop because the chewing gum line, which is marketed to teens, keeps expanding like my waistline has over the past seven years The Impulsive Buy has been around.

If you don’t know the 5 Gum flavors, let me fill your grey matter with a useless list that may write over some of your precious childhood memories: Cobalt, Flare, Rain, Elixir, Lush, Solstice, Zing, React Fruit, React Mint, Prism, Vortex, React 2 Fruit, and React 2 Mint. Oh wait, let me write over your memory of your first kiss with the next 5 Gum flavor, a tropical one called Swerve.

When Swerve becomes available later this year, it will be the second tropical flavor in the 5 Gum line, following Lush.

Also later this year, Wrigley will be adding Apple Pie to its portfolio of Extra Dessert Delights sugarfree gum. The flavor follows Strawberry Shortcake, Mint Chocolate Chip, Key Lime Pie, and Orange Creme Pop.

Come on, Wrigley! Stop ruining desserts for me! If I want to eat poor representations of desserts I’ll go to McDonald’s or make the desserts myself.

Both sugarfree gum flavors will come in the usual 15-piece slim pack.