NEWS: Braun bodycruZer Gets Rid of Unwanted Body Hair Along With Proper Capitalization and Correct Spelling

Yes, that is how Braun spells bodycruZer, which is an all-in-one men’s body groomer featuring a double-headed hair shaving beast, one of which is the popular five bladed Gillette Fusion and the other is a precision power trimmer. It’s for those who want to be Michael Phelps smooth. The bodycruZer is somewhat similar to Norelco’s Bodygroom, which I reviewed a few years ago.

The bodycruZer can be used in and out of the shower, where you decide depends on whether you enjoy clogging your shower drain with your body hair or littering your bathroom floor with your body hair. It has a rechargeable battery that can last for up 50 minutes, giving yourself plenty of time to deforest your pubic hairs. You can use either hair removal head separately or you can combine them to remove unwanted hair as efficiently and quickly as harvesting wheat.

The Braun bodycruZer includes a charging stand, three trimming combs, a hanger, travel pouch and one extra Gillette Fusion disposable blade. It’s available now and will retail for around $70-$80.

Read our review here.

NEWS: Dreyer’s Slow Churned Snack Size Cups Tries To Make Break Ups Less Fattening

I don’t know if what I see on television is true in real life, but it seems like whenever a female character gets dumped by her boyfriend, the following scene is of her eating ice cream straight from the pint container. Because of this, whenever I’ve been dumped by a woman (and you know who you are), I usually slam down a pint of ice cream, which makes me feel good while I’m eating it, but will later pay for it later in the form of five pounds added to my gut.

The problem with eating ice cream straight from the container is that it’s hard to stop while thinking about all the wonderful times I spent with my former significant other while watching reruns of Law & Order. Before I knew it and before Briscoe was able to get a search warrant, I finished the entire pint. Thankfully, the Dreyer’s Slow Churned Snack Size Cups will help curb the gluttony.

Instead of a pint of ice cream, each snack size cup only contains six ounces. But it’s not six ounces of regular Dreyer’s ice cream, it’s six ounces of their Slow Churned ice cream which has half the fat of their regular stuff. It comes only in three flavors: Mint Chocolate Chip, Chocolate and Vanilla Bean.

A container of the Vanilla Bean has 150 calories, 5 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 17 grams of sugar and 4 grams of protein. The Chocolate contains 170 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 20 grams of sugar and 5 grams of protein. The Mint Chocolate Chip has 210 calories, 8 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 21 grams of sugar and 5 grams of protein.

NEWS: One of Kashi’s Latest Veggie Pizzas Fails To Keep It Real

Some of the things I think about when it comes to delicious pizza are how unhealthy they are, how greasy they are and what my face looked like when I was 13 years old, but health nutty companies like Kashi and Amy’s are making pizzas a little bit healthier by not topping theirs with meat products. That’s great, but the new Kashi Sicilian Veggie Pizza has gotten me worried because it doesn’t have cheese.

The Sicilian Veggie is a stone fired pizza covered with caramelized onions, grilled eggplant, fire roasted red peppers on top of a balsamic infused white bean tomato sauce. But, again, there’s no cheese.

According to my computer’s dictionary, a pizza is, “a dish of Italian origin consisting of a flat, round base of dough baked with a topping of tomato sauce and cheese, typically with added meat or vegetables.”

See what it said? Pizza has to have cheese. Because it’s in a dictionary, I believe it to be fact, and my computer’s dictionary doesn’t lie because it has a picture of Spencer Pratt under the definition for “asshole.”

So, technically, the Kashi Sicilian Veggie isn’t a pizza, but Kashi’s other new pizza is one. The Mexicali Black Bean Thin Crust has a whole grain crust topped with a spicy black bean and tomato sauce blend, mozzarella and cheddar cheeses, fire roasted corn, tomatillos, poblano peppers and red peppers.

Now that’s a pizza.

One-third of the Sicilian Veggie has 200 calories, 5 grams of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 530 milligrams of sodium, 120 milligrams of potassium, 37 grams of carbohydrates, 5 grams of fiber and 11 grams of protein. While a serving of the Mexicali Black Bean has 210 calories, 7 grams of fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 560 milligrams of sodium, 27 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber and 13 grams of protein. Both pizzas also contain 9 grams of whole grains and 340 milligrams of ALA Omega-3s per serving.

NEWS: New DASANI essence Only Gets to First Base With All-Natural Fruit Flavor

Like a Jonas brother wearing a purity ring, the new DASANI essence bottled water doesn’t go all the way. It only has a touch of fruit flavor and it accomplishes this without sweeteners, preservatives or calories. It’s the equivalent of just making out in the back seat of a Trans Am. The DASANI essence (yes, that’s how it’s spelled) is similar to the Hint Water we reviewed years ago.

Some of you might be thinking DASANI already has fruit flavored water, and you would be right, but that line of bottled water has a level of flavor that is equivalent to getting to third base in the back seat of a station wagon.

The DASANI essence comes in three flavors: black cherry, strawberry kiwi and lime. It’s being sold in 18.5-ounce bottles or 16-ounce bottles in a 4-pack.

An 8-ounce serving contains 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 25 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates and 0 grams of protein.

NEWS: Arizona All City NRG Brings Back Disturbing Memories of Airbrushed Overalls

No matter how cool the limited edition subway series cans that contain the Arizona All City NRG look, I can’t help but feel some trepidation about them. Not only do they bring back the upsetting memories I have of airbrushed clothing, they also make me feel like I’m in the wrong part of town and I better get the hell out. I’ve watched enough Law & Order to know where the wrong part of town is.

The energy drink has a pomegranate flavor and is non-carbonated. According to Arizona Beverage Company, “Going ‘All City’ means going all out” and the All City NRG has enough caffeine, taurine and guarana to give you the energy to run away from the popo after they catch you tagging a wall or their police car. An 8-ounce serving contains 150 milligrams of caffeine, 100 milligrams of guarana and 1000 milligrams of taurine.

The Arizona All City NRG comes in 16-ounce cans and an 8-ounce serving contains 100 calories, 0 grams of saturated fat, 10 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 27 grams of sugar, 50% vitamin C, 100% vitamin B6, 100% vitamin B12 and 100% pantothenic acid.