REVIEW: Cheetos Crunchy Flamin’ Hot Chipotle Ranch

Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, which I refer to endearingly as OG Hot Cheetos, and I go way back. Almost three decades ago, its street cred and my love for them was established. They were basically the currency of my elementary school days – traded in snack-size Ziploc bags for durables like shakeable Dr. Grip mechanical pencils (very cool back then too).

Of course, my enterprising after-school institution caught on. They sold “individual packs” to us crazed hooligans for 25 cents. Adult me is pretty sure that those one-ounce packs were the kind you buy in a variety pack labeled “not for individual sale.” Point is – the OG trusty, just-enough-heat deliciousness has never failed me.

So when the new Cheetos Crunchy Flamin’ Hot Chipotle Ranch hit shelves, I thought, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!” However, I went in with little to no expectations because I wasn’t quite sure what chipotle ranch was supposed to taste like dusted on a “cheese-flavored snack.” To me, it sounded more like a dipping sauce or something over-slathered on a sad sandwich.

There was no shock value when I opened the bag because they looked like the same ol’ same ol’. When examined closely, I saw more flecks of seasoning so it looked slightly redder, but that was about it. What did shock me was the BBQ-esque smell coming from the bag. I rationalized that chipotle was supposed to evoke a smokier connotation, which could be similar to BBQ. I also couldn’t un-smell Fritos Honey BBQ Flavor Twists.

Even as I took my first crunch, the more pronounced corn flavor totally reminded me of said Fritos. The initial corn note evolved into a whisper of ranch – thank goodness, the last thing I wanted was cool ranch-esque flavoring – that was rounded out by a slight smokiness from the chipotle, and ended with heat.

I will say that it wasn’t spicy as the OG. The ranch seems to dampen the heat, but I was okay with that because it didn’t completely kill the burn. The diminished heat actually allowed me to shovel them into my mouth at a quicker pace. There was definitely still an undeniable addictiveness. But it was a mind-trip the entire time like when I ate a deconstructed Caesar salad at some hoity-toity restaurant. It tasted like Caesar salad but the form looked nothing like it. But in this case, I was tasting Fritos Honey BBQ Flavor Twists but seeing Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Just to make sure, I did a taste-off between the Flamin’ Hot Cheetos Chipotle Ranch and Fritos Honey BBQ Flavor Twists. They definitely smelled similar, but said Fritos tasted way more pungently BBQ, sweeter from the honey, and weren’t spicy at all. So there’s definitely a difference.

If you put a bag of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in front of me, I’m going to eat them no matter what flavor. But, if I had a choice, I’d stick to the OG.

(Nutrition Facts – about 21 pieces – 170 calories, 11 grams total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 210 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)

Purchased Price: $3.00
Size: 8.5 oz. bag
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Pros: Still have an addictive quality. Diminished heat allowed me to shovel Cheetos into my mouth at a quicker pace. Not exactly like Fritos Honey BBQ Flavor Twists. Complex flavor journey – giving R&D props!
Cons: OG Flamin’ Hot Cheetos still taste better. Tasting Fritos but seeing Cheetos. Lots of justification needed for the flavor nuances, like why it’s less spicy, etc.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 6/19/2017

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Honey Maid The Emoji Movie Graham Snacks

(Spotted by Elizabeth L at Stop & Shop.)

Nature Valley Peak Edition Almond Butter Double Chocolate Granola Cups

(Spotted by Elizabeth L at Stop & Shop.)

Kingsford BBQ Sauce (Honey Jalapeno Mesquite, Brown Sugar Applewood, and Original Smoked Hickory)

(Spotted by Robbie at Walmart.)

Quaker Cranberry Apple Multigrain Flakes

(Spotted by Ron G at Tops Friendly Markets.)

EAS Soy Vanilla and Chocolate Protein Powder

(Spotted by Caitlin J at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

Also, if you want to send in photos and are wondering if we’ve already covered something, don’t worry about it. Let us worry about it.

UNSCIENTIFIC POLL: Best Panda Express Entree That’s Not Orange Chicken

If this was “Best Panda Express Entree,” I’m 100 percent sure Orange Chicken would win in a landslide. Heck, I’d vote for it. Since it’s the obvious winner, I thought why don’t we find out the second most popular entree from Panda Express.

So readers of The Impulsive Buy, select your favorite Panda Express Entree that’s not Orange Chicken in the poll below. Don’t see your favorite that’s not Orange Chicken? You can also write-in a seasonal favorite or discontinued entree in the “Other” field at the bottom.

The poll will close on Friday, June 23 at 11:59 p.m. HST.

Update: Beijing Beef was added to the poll. It’s on the Panda Express website, but I missed it when adding entrees to the list. I apologize to all the Beijing Beef lovers out there. Most of the votes for Beijing Beef are listed under “Other” but will give a final tally soon after the poll closes.

FAST FOOD NEWS: Burger King Mushroom & Swiss King

BK Mushroom  Swiss King

Burger King’s latest is the Mushroom & Swiss King. It follow a long lineage of Kings — Bacon King, Steakhouse King, and BBQ Bacon King. It’s not to be confused with the Mushroom & Swiss Big King that had a middle bun and didn’t have bacon.

The Mushroom & Swiss King has two 1/4 lb flame-grilled beef patties, two slices of Swiss cheese, thick-cut smoked bacon, sautéed mushrooms, and mayonnaise on a toasted sesame seed bun.

The burger has 940 calories, 63 grams of fat, 21 grams of saturated fat, 2.5 grams of trans fat, 175 milligrams of cholesterol, 1380 milligrams of sodium, 45 grams of carbohydrates, 8 grams of sugar, and 49 grams of protein.

If you’ve tried it, let us know what you think of it in the comments.

(Image via Burger King’s website)