SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Trader Joe’s New Mango Products (Part 2)

Trader Joe's Mango Coconut Caramel Corn

Trader Joe’s Mango Coconut Caramel Corn

Trader Joe's Mango Brooklyn Babka

Trader Joe’s Mango Brooklyn Babka

Trader Joe's Seeded Mango & Ginger Crisps

Trader Joe’s Seeded Mango & Ginger Crisps

Trader Joe's Mango Tangerine Scented Candle

Trader Joe’s Mango Tangerine Scented Candle

Trader Joe's Mango Chia Pudding

Trader Joe’s Mango Chia Pudding

Sadly, no mango speculoos cookie butter. (Spotted by Sylvia and Rachel C at Trader Joe’s.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.

REVIEW: Keebler Limited Batch Birthday Cake Fudge Stripes Cookies

Keebler Limited Batch Birthday Cake Fudge Stripes Cookies

During the 45 years or so of the Cold War, the United States and Soviet Union built up massive quantities of nuclear weapons in an effort to counter each other and become the world’s leading super power.

Each had their own spheres of influence, but since separate hemispheres weren’t enough, both nations just kept building more and bigger missiles until one couldn’t keep up any longer.

A quarter century after the Berlin Wall fell, another arms race is occurring. The good news is that the entire existence of the human race is no longer at stake. The bad news is that we are all going to get massively obese.

It’s a trade I am totally cool with.

Gone are the days when Oreo was content with being the world’s leading chocolate sandwich cookie; likewise, Keebler’s elves aspire to an empire greater than just fudge covered shortbreads. The two companies have fought for cookie supremacy in recent limited time offerings of red velvet and pumpkin spice, but the latest flashpoint in the great cookie conflict is one flavor that I never get tired of celebrating: Birthday Cake.

While I give the elves credit for creating a cookie that has all three traditional elements of birthday cake (sprinkles, frosting, and uh, “cake”) I do need to point out that the box artwork features a cupcake. At first I thought this was just a celebration of portion control, but since the package also happens to be non-resalable — thus increasing my chances of inhaling all the cookies in one sitting — I realize the elves probably just suck at making distinctions.

I, however, do not. And to be sure, the distinction of Birthday Cake vs. Cupcake is one I take seriously. If you show me a cupcake, I expect the frosting to steal the show. That’s not the case with these cookies, though.

Keebler Limited Batch Birthday Cake Fudge Stripes Cookies 2

Oh, I mean the shortbread element is fine. It’s buttery with a delectably fine crumb and the non-overpowering element of sweetness I admire about the original Fudge Stripe.

But whereas the original Fudge Stripe can get away with a faux-chocolate glaze that works to balance the shortbread, the frosting glaze on the latest batch of shortbread just tastes like that generic palm oil glaze we’ve all had a million times. It’s not buttercream frosting; it’s not cream cheese frosting; it’s not even a damn Swiss meringue. It’s just way too sweet, and lacks that luscious mouthfeel of an actual frosting element. Likewise, it’s cut off from the sprinkles, which themselves lack the crunchy contrast I want buried in frosting.

Keebler Limited Batch Birthday Cake Fudge Stripes Cookies 3

Fortunately, since my pantry is always willing to celebrate an actual birthday, I had some rainbow chip frosting handy. Now, while I realize this stuff would be good on anything from pancakes to Ritz crackers, I did find it especially wonderful when stuffed between the Fudge Stripe Birthday Cake cookies.

Biting through the crunchy shortbread into actual, sprinkled-filled frosting — even in an artificial, shelf-stable form — reminded me of Oreo’s birthday cake attempt and how providing just a level of textural contrast can go a long way to really making a birthday cake-flavored product worth the purchase.

Does the fact that Oreo makes a better birthday cake cookie than Keebler mean that the Elves are destined to toil in a downtrodden economy until an ex-KGB spy who likes to take his shirt off attempts to assert them as the world’s leading cookie makers? Probably not. But in the arms race of cookie flavors, Keebler’s latest gambit just can’t keep pace.

(Nutrition Facts – 2 cookies – 130 calories, 6 grams of fat, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 18 grams of carbohydrates, 10 grams of sugar, and less than 1 gram of protein.)

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: $2.99
Purchased at: Weis Markets
Rating: 5 out of 10
Pros: Delectable shortbread crumb. Crunchy sprinkle pieces. Wonderful vehicle birthday cake frosting.
Cons: Waxy, mostly tasteless frosting element. Too much shortbread taste for a birthday cake product. Non-resalable packaging. Cookie company flavor arms races.

SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 6/10/2016

Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. If you’ve tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments.

Great Value S'Mores Ice Cream

Great Value S’Mores Ice Cream

Great Value Strawberry Cheesecake ice Cream

Great Value Strawberry Cheesecake ice Cream

That spelling of s’mores bothers me. I want to take the “w” in Strawberry Cheesecake, turn it 180 degrees, erase the “M” in S’Mores, and replace it with the upside down lowercase “w.” (Spotted by Carla at Walmart.)

Bustelo Cool Cafe con Leche and Cafe con Chocolate

Bustelo Cool Cafe con Leche and Cafe con Chocolate

Cool cafe con leche and cafe con chocolate cans. (Spotted by Carla at Walmart.)

HInes Orchard Fresh Maple Bacon Cashews

Hines Orchard Fresh Maple Bacon Cashews

HInes Orchard Fresh Vanilla Caramel Sea Salt Cashews

Hines Orchard Fresh Vanilla Caramel Sea Salt Cashews

HInes Orchard Fresh Sea Salt & Pepper Cashews

Hines Orchard Fresh Sea Salt & Pepper Cashews

Cashew pr0n! (Spotted by Rachel T at Walmart.)

Sunbelt Bakery Dark Chocolate Chunk Chewy Granola Bars

Sunbelt Bakery Dark Chocolate Chunk Chewy Granola Bars

Somewhere the Quaker mascot is yawning. (Spotted by Josh C at Walmart.)

Thank you to all the photo contributors! If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you do so, you might see your picture in our next Spotted on Shelves post.

FAST FOOD NEWS: Ben & Jerry’s Flavor Flip Tubby Hubby Ice Cream

Ben & Jerry's Tubby Hubby

Last month, Ben & Jerry’s introduced their first Flavor Flip, Fully Baked, a twisted version of the popular Half Baked Ice Cream. This month, the ice cream maker introduced a new Flavor Flip based on Chubby Hubby — Tubby Hubby.

For those of you who haven’t had Chubby Hubby in awhile, it’s made up of vanilla malt ice cream with peanutty fudge-covered pretzels and fudge and peanut buttery swirls. Tubby Hubby features peanut butter ice cream with sweet and salty pretzel swirls and fudge swirls.

A scoop has 260 calories, 17 grams of fat, 7 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 24 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of fiber, 18 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.

If you’ve tried it, let us know what you think of it in the comments.

(Image via Ben & Jerry’s website)

SPOTTED ON SHELVES: DiGiorno Artisan Style Melts

DiGiorno Pepperoni Speciale Artisan Melts

DiGiorno Pepperoni Speciale Artisan Melts

DiGiorno Artisan Melts (Chicken Bruschetta and Spicy Sausage Pomodoro)

DiGiorno Artisan Melts (Chicken Bruschetta and Spicy Sausage Pomodoro)

There’s also a Quattro Formaggi flavor. Each box comes with two snack pieces that I bet, if you combine them, would make one decent sandwich. (Spotted by Jason W at Treasure Island Foods and Amanda Y at Kroger.)

If you’re out shopping and see an interesting new product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send us an email ([email protected]) with where you found it and “Spotted” in the subject line. Or reply to us (@theimpulsivebuy) on Twitter with the photo, where you spotted it, and the hashtag #spotted. If you’ve tried the product, share your thoughts about it in the comments.