REVIEW: Dunkin’ Arctic Cherry Energy Drink

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Dunkin’ could’ve jumped onto the mystery flavor train with its Dunkin’ Arctic Cherry Energy Drink. It comes in a typical “mystery flavor” color that doesn’t give away what it tastes like. Heck, the chain could’ve even used part of the name if it decided to make it a mystery flavor, and I’ve got the perfect name it could’ve had — Dunkin’ Cryptic Arctic Energy Drink.

BOOM! Please hire me for your not fully fleshed out product name ideas!

The beverage’s opaque white color could be confused with any number of drinks, especially lemon-lime ones. But it does look “arctic.” Brrrr. Just looking at it makes me want to put on some Uniqlo Ultra Warm HEATTECH clothing.

The coffee and donut chain says Cryptic Arctic Energy (I’mma making the name change happen) has “sweet and tart cherry notes with flavors of blueberry and grapefruit.”

When I took my first straw sip, I got hit with a strong dose of the syrup mixed in and couldn’t really pinpoint the fruit flavors as my taste buds were dunked on with sweetness. After giving the drink a stern stirring, I took another sip. But this time, I mostly tasted the carbonated water with a hint of fruitiness. Worried that I had just sucked out all of the drink’s flavor with the previous sip, I gave it even more drink gyrations. Thankfully, I got the right amount of flavor with the following slurp. While I didn’t notice the grapefruit, I could primarily taste the cherry, and in the aftertaste, I noticed the blueberry more. It’s a nice flavor, but you do not need to rush out the door to try it.

Dunkin’ Arctic Cherry Energy Drink (okay, I give up trying to make a name change happen) is fine, just like the other Dunkin’ Energy flavors available. I’d repurchase it if I don’t feel like getting a coffee for my caffeine fix, since it does have 144 milligrams of the good stuff.

Purchased Price: $3.99*
Size: Medium
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 130 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 200 milligrams of sodium, 29 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of sugar (including 26 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 144 milligrams of caffeine.

*Because I live on a rock in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, things are a bit pricier here. You’ll probably pay less than I did.

REVIEW: Starbucks Canned Iced Energy Sparkling Energy Drinks

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Here we go with Starbucks entering the energy drink market again with its canned Iced Energy Sparkling Energy Drinks. Remember Starbucks BAYA? You don’t? Come on, it came out three years ago and lasted maybe two years before being discontinued. How could you not remember BAYA? It’s the best energy drink name to say ever. Okay, I liked saying Cocaine, so it may be the second-best energy drink name to pronounce ever.

Anyhoo, BAYA is bye-bye, so we’re stuck with this canned version of the Iced Energy Beverages that Starbucks serves up in its stores but doesn’t come in any of the flavors offered in stores. They come in skinny 12-fluid-ounce cans and three flavors — Blueberry Lemonade, Watermelon Twist, and Tropical Peach. Unfortunately, I could only procure the first two, so maybe the last one is a myth. All flavors, real and mythical, have zero sugar and 160 milligrams of caffeine per can.

What disappointed me about Starbucks’ BAYA Energy was how mild the flavors were when compared to the big guns in the energy drink market. These new energy drinks have a slightly stronger fruitiness but still don’t pop like Monster and Rockstar’s zero sugar offerings.

The Blueberry Lemonade one has a decent, mild berry flavor with a hint of tart lemonade. But sometimes that lemonade gets really weird on the backend. It’s a slightly off-putting twist that, I swear, kind of brings to my mind moldy bread. However, it’s so mild that I drank the entire can without gagging like I do when I actually accidentally bite into moldy bread (it’s happened to me multiple times at this point in my life).

While Blueberry Lemonade had a twist, the variety with the word “Twist” in its name didn’t have one. Watermelon is the main taste here, and I assume the “twist” is supposed to be the lime, but I don’t notice it. Instead, I only get a watermelon taste that reminds me of a less sweet and flavorful Jolly Rancher. If I had to choose between the two varieties, I’d pick this one, but it’s not by a wide margin.

Starbucks’ Canned Iced Energy Sparkling Energy Drinks are okay. While it has 160 milligrams of caffeine from green coffee extract and electrolytes from salt, it doesn’t offer the flavor intensity to convince me to choose it over other energy drink brands. I wouldn’t be surprised if we also have to say bye-bye to it two years from now.

Purchased Price: $2.79
Size: 12 fl oz cans
Purchased at: Times Supermarket
Rating: 6 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 5 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 35 milligrams of sodium, 0 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Bang Any Means Orange Energy Drink

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Bang Any Means Orange is my first experience with a Bang Energy Drink, and ever since I’ve consumed it, my heart has been racing. However, I don’t know if that’s because I’ve fallen in love with this energy drink flavor or because of the 300 milligrams of caffeine the beverage has.

Any Means Orange is probably the most random-sounding energy drink flavor name ever, but I assure you that there is meaning behind it. The flavor is a collaboration between Bang and Any Means Possible, or AMP for short. They’re a collective of online streamers.

I know some of you wordsmiths are thinking, “If their group is called Any Means Possible, why wasn’t this Any Means Pomegranate?” Well, I’m going to be honest, probably because pomegranate is so (insert whatever the kids say instead of “uncool” here), and there’s something Weird Al Yankovic-ish about that name.

However, I am extremely thankful that it ended up being orange-flavored because my fondness for how Any Means Orange tastes is as high as this energy drink’s caffeine content.

First off, this isn’t just straight-up orange. While the brand says it’s “Refreshing orange with a zesty kick,” I swear it’s orange creamsicle-flavored. So it really should’ve been, “Refreshing orange with a creamy kick.” That is as clear as the beverage when poured into a Pyrex cup. It hits the citrus and cream flavors so well that I’m surprised this isn’t liquid from an ice cream truck with broken freezers that’s sitting in the middle of the desert. It’s so delicious.

Much like I’ve experienced with Monster Energy’s Ultra line, this zero sugar energy drink doesn’t taste like there’s no sugar in it. (Oh, for those who don’t follow energy drink companies like sports teams, Bang’s parent company, Vital Pharmaceuticals, was purchased by Monster in 2023.)

If you’re a fan of orange creamsicle-flavored energy drinks and want 300 milligrams of caffeine, pick this up by any means necessary.

DISCLOSURE: I received complimentary product samples from Bang. Doing so did not influence my review.

Purchased Price: FREE
Size: 16 fl oz can
Rating: 9 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (1 can) 0 calories, 0 grams of fat, 40 milligrams of sodium, 2 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of sugar, 0 grams of protein, and 300 milligrams of caffeine.

REVIEW: Red Bull Spring Edition Grapefruit & Blossom Energy Drink

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With daylight saving time just settling in and the equinox approaching, do you know what time it is? It’s new Red Bull time. For the first time ever, the oldest energy drink in the game, has brought a Spring Edition to the United States — Grapefruit & Blossom. As with the usual Red Bull products, boasts 80 milligrams of caffeine in an 8.4-ounce can, along with some B vitamins, niacin, and a little smooch of taurine.

Full disclosure: I haven’t had a full-sugar Red Bull in a long time (although I had the Cinnamon Pear Winter Edition a couple years back, and it was awesome). As a rule of thumb, I try to stick with sugar-free energy drinks and soda, but purple is my favorite color, and the store didn’t have sugar-free, so I said, “screw it,” and took a chance. That chance paid off because the first annual US Red Bull Spring Edition is quite delicious.

The unexpectedly vibrant green color of the drink gives way to a nice, sweet, and zesty grapefruit flavor that reminds me of the ruby red variety, and then it rounds out with a gentle floral note. The floral quality isn’t bold or in your face like rose water or hibiscus; it just coasts on the backend in a very complementary role. I mostly detect the “blossom” in a way that smooths the usually top-heavy and sharp grapefruit flavor into something very palatable and truly tasty.

As someone who usually leans into sugar-free options, I was surprised this didn’t come across as more aggressively over the top and sweet. But then I had to remind myself that sucralose, the sweetener most commonly used in energy drinks these days, is said to be up to 600 times sweeter than table sugar. While it is definitely sweet, the drink is refreshing and seamlessly sip-able.

Grapefruit & Blossom Red Bull is perfectly balanced and a worthy introduction of the Spring Edition to the States with a flavor profile that delightfully honors the changing of seasons. It’s good enough that I will try to track down the sugar-free iteration to see if it can hold up to its sugar-laden counterpart to toss more regularly into the pick-me-up rotation.

Purchased Price: $2.99
Size: 8.4 ounces
Purchased at: Nob Hill
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: (One Can) 110 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 90 milligrams of sodium, 28 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 26 grams of total sugars, 0 grams of protein.

REVIEW: Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice

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When I first learned about Monster Energy’s Viking Berry Energy Juice, I thought “Viking berry” was a weird name for a fruit. But after commanding Siri to do some light research for me, like an unpaid intern, I learned that the fruit has an even more unusual but totally unmarketable name for a food product — chokeberries.

According to Wikipedia, “The name ‘chokeberry’ comes from the astringency of the fruits, which create the sensation of making one’s mouth pucker.” Sadly, that is a disappointing and boring explanation of its name, which creates the sensation of making one’s mouth yawn.

Why couldn’t the reason for its name be something dark, chilling, and worthy of a Netflix documentary? For example, the fruit was responsible for the deaths of many sailors at sea when it was used as ammunition by Viking slingshot snipers who targeted the mouths of their enemies.

But after all that reading and Siri-ing, I’m confused about whether or not this contains Viking berries. The ingredients list mentions a trio of B-berry juices – black currant, blackberry, and bilberry – but no chokeberries. Not even the can’s copy says anything definite. Instead, the following is printed: “Inspired by Wild Nordic berries and Scandinavian fruit, Viking Berry blends real fruit juices and exotic flavors for a whole new taste experience.”

“Whole new taste experience,” eh?

Well, a distinct pattern of neurons in my brain started firing when I took a sip of this. But I can’t quite figure out why it tastes so familiar. While it’s not a whole new taste experience to me, it is in the Monster Juice line because almost all the new flavors over the past decade have been tropical flavored.

The red-ish purple Viking Berry Energy Juice has a mixed berry aroma and taste that leans towards blueberry and maybe red raspberry. Much like chokeberries, I’ve never had bilberries, so I wouldn’t know one even if it was shot down my throat by a slingshot sniper. It starts off a bit tart but has a sweeter finish. However, it’s not sour enough to create the sensation of making one’s mouth pucker. It is tasty enough that I see this being a repeat purchase. Although, I can’t say I enjoy it more than some of the tropical Monster Energy Juice varieties.

Something else that came to mind while drinking this is that it has a Monster Ultra vibe to it. I might be the only one who thinks this, but even though there’s sugar in this (and some sucralose), I could confuse its flavor for a zero sugar Monster Ultra.

Monster Viking Berry Energy Juice may not contain actual chokeberries, but it has 160 milligrams of sweet, sweet caffeine and a berry delicious taste.

Purchased Price: $2.59
Size: 16 fl oz can
Purchased at: Target
Rating: 8 out of 10
Nutrition Facts: 200 calories, 0 grams of fat, 200 milligrams of sodium, 52 grams of carbohydrates, 49 grams of sugar (including 47 grams of added sugar), 0 grams of protein, and 160 milligrams of caffeine.

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