REVIEW: Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts

I don’t know if Kevin Federline likes Pop-Tarts, but I do know that he has a rap album coming out. If K-Fed does like Pop-Tarts and if he wrote lyrics about Pop-Tarts for his album, I think they would go something like this:

My name is K-Fed, I’m richer than you.
Although it’s Britney’s money, I can spend it too.
I buy cars, motorcycles, bling, and booze,
But I also buy Pop-Tarts, any flavor I choose.

I get them by the crate, carton, or barge container,
The ones with chocolate are much greater.
Sometimes when I really can’t decide on a flavor,
I buy every single one and save them for later.

I’ve got a dozen toasters in a row when I have a Pop-Tarts party,
When Britney is away I consume Pop-Tarts and Bacardi.
If I eat two in a row, I call it a meal that’s hearty.
If I eat more than three, the room is gonna smell a little farty.


When I eat two at a time, I hold one in each limb.
When I want more, I give one to my homie Tim.
Yeah I eat a lot of Pop-Tarts, but how do I stay so slim?
I followed the weight loss plan from that Olsen twin.

I’ll stick one in the toaster before I get ready when I’m on the run.
Because I don’t have any hygiene I’m ready before it’s done.
I’d eat a whole box of Pop-Tarts if I want to do something fun.
Cuz I don’t have chores, responsibilities, or an occupation.

Tryin’ to shove a whole Pop-Tart down your mouth is very funny.
I pay members of my entourage to do it for me with Britney’s money.
I feed Pop-Tarts to Sean Preston when he gets hungry.
But I keep them away from Britney, cuz I don’t want her chubby.

Word.

I know K-Fed’s album hasn’t, as Britney would say, “dropped” yet, but I guarantee the Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts will be one billion times better, cause less headaches, be better at getting the hotties on to the dance floor, get more respected from other rappers, and be a better father to K-Fed’s kids.

The Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts are pretty good, although I’m not sure they are as good as the Frosted Apple & Cinnamon Pop-Tarts I had growing up, which was one of my favorite flavors back in the day. For those of you who are too young to remember “back in the day,” back in the day there were only something like six Pop-Tart flavors, half of them had frosting on them. Now it’s like Baskin-Robbins ice cream, with thirty something flavors.

The Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts aren’t as sweet as I remember the Frosted Apple & Cinnamon Pop-Tarts were, but still pretty tasty nonetheless. I’ve never had an apple strudel before, or any kind of strudel for that matter, so I don’t know if it tastes like one. However, it was apple-ish and a little cinnamon-ish.

I only had one gripe with it. I wished there was more frosting on the top of it, instead of the drizzle they have. I know the drizzle makes it look strudel-ish, but having a solid, huge layer of frosting on top would make it even better. But I guess I should be happy that there is some frosting, because Pop-Tarts without frosting are very lame.

Although, frosting-less Pop-Tarts don’t even come close to being as lame as K-Fed dropping some rhymes.

(Editor’s Note: The Impulsive Buy has reviewed a whole heck of a lot of Pop-Tarts over its existence. You can read previous Pop-Tarts reviews here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.)


Item: Apple Strudel Pop-Tarts
Purchased Price: $2.00 (on sale)
Purchased At: Safeway
Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Pros: Tasty. Good. Apple-ish and a little cinnamon-ish. Made with real fruit.
Cons: Needs more frosting on top. Not good frozen. K-Fed’s hygiene. K-Fed’s rhyming ability. K-Fed reproducing. PopoZão.

REVIEW: French Toast Pop-Tarts

Kellogg's French Toast Pop-Tarts

If you’re an avid reader of the Impulsive Buy, you know that we like Pop-Tarts. We’re Pop-Tart aficionados, if you will. We consider them to be part of our complete breakfast, and sometimes lunch, dinner, and midnight snack.

In the past few months, we’ve reviewed this one, this one, and this one, which have also turned out to be our top three all-time favorite Pop-Tarts flavors.

Recently, I came upon the new French Toast Pop-Tarts and wondered if they really did taste like French Toast. However, it’s been a while since I’ve eaten French Toast because I’m afraid of eggs, due to the egg cholesterol controversy.

First, they say eggs are bad for me, then they say they’re good for me, then they say they’re bad for me again, then they say they’re good for me again, and then they tell me that they’re good for me if I eat it in moderation.

Since I haven’t had French Toast in a long time, I can’t remember how it tastes. So I decided to overcome my fear of eggs and make French Toast.

Because I watch excessive amounts of the Food Network, I felt like I could cook some mean French Toast. Although to be honest, I mostly watch it for Rachael Ray.

After cooking a stack of French Toast and adding the butter, cinnamon, and syrup, I did my comparison.

Oh, man. I forgot that I made some damn good French Toast.

Hell yeah!

Oh, they were so heavenly.

Then I declared myself the King of French Toast and I thought no inferior French Toast Pop-Tart could beat MY delicious French Toast.

Well, I was wrong.

The French Toast Pop-Tarts were pretty good, with its syrup filling and cinnamon sprinkled on top. However, it’s not the best Pop-Tarts I’ve had, but it’s probably one of my top 5 favorites.

Although, I think that the syrup filling wasn’t that sweet and I wish it had a cinnamon-flavored frosting, instead of just cinnamon sprinkled on top. But overall, they totally do trump my own French Toast.

I guess the King of French Toast is dead.

Now that I think about it, maybe the reason why I stopped eating French Toast was not because of my fear of cholesterol, maybe it was because I suck at making French Toast.

Item: French Toast Pop-Tarts
Purchase Price: $2.50 (on sale)
Rating: 3 out of 5
Pros: Cinnamon. Gooey syrup filling. Possibly one of my Top 5 favorite Pop-Tarts. Better than MY crappy-ass French Toast.
Cons: Syrup filling wasn’t that sweet. Wish there was frosting. Do not freeze.