![\"Doritos](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6188\/6090515671_3d9dff9efc.jpg?resize=500%2C455\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nMachismo + 90\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Xtreme = the present day douchebag. <\/p>\n
I have concluded that the above is the correct formula. Or as a recipe it would read, one part exaggerated masculinity and one equal part X-Games generation, a gallon of penis envy, and a pinch of misdirected anger will give you the douchebag.<\/p>\n
Everyone remembers the late 90\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s where every\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6fucking\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6thing was so damned EXTREME! (Extreeeeme!!!)<\/i> And you know it was extra extreme when they got rid of the “e” and it was just X-treme or some stupid variation. Images of snowboarders, tats, overdone spiked hairdo\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s with goatees grasping some neon green drink, you know XXXXXTREME MUTHAfuckas!!! Red Bull\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s and Fr\u00c3\u00afs Vodka anyone? <\/p>\n
Once the 90\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gave way to the new millennium, the very common denominator of the public latched on to all the worst things about the EXTREME (Extreeeeme!!!)<\/i> crowd. After the Y2K scare, Buckle clothing stores were popping up all over the malls like a gonorrhea infection. Davidoff\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Cool Water cologne stepped aside for Axe Tiger Cock or something like that. Walking billboards for midlife crises were wearing Affliction shirts with Ed Hardy jeans and populating posh bars as they imbibed Jager-bombs (note: Sake bombs fall in this category too and if you order a sake bomb in a sushi restaurant, I guarantee your sashimi has been deservedly seasoned with ass-crack sweat). <\/p>\n
This is the mutated ugly side of men who were not smart enough to understand metrosexual (which is a term I hate as well). And yes, food wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t immune to this movement either. You aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t a real man unless you can eat those fucking ghost-chili hot wings or scotch bonnet poppers filled with Szechuan whatever the hells. Be a man and eat it!<\/p>\n
Or at least that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what the sticky laminated stained menu tells me and douchebags gotta eat too. As much as I love hot food, I know it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s entering the realm of overly macho men who either eat it hot or eat it big (and sometimes both). Fuck me.<\/p>\n
Our love of spicy food is demonstrated in the growing popularity of Thai and Indian cuisines. The general public is beginning to accept flavors more exotic than a Cajun spiced chicken finger. In fact, sriracha is now offered at a lot of restaurants. I assure you it won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t be long before we slather some kimchi on hot dogs, I have and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s good.<\/p>\n
Like anything that becomes popular, they are dumbed down for a dumb public. So as much as I admire those Trekkie-like hot sauce collectors and the adventurous eater tucking into a Ethiopian goat stew scorching with berbere, I was a little pessimistic when I saw the Fiery Fusion flavors for Doritos and Cheetos. I love hot food and normally when it is in snack form, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s tepid. <\/p>\n
The name was a bit douchebaggy too, Fiery Fusion. It sounds like it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s some kind of new scent. When I hear “fusion” in regards to food, I picture bad Asian cuisine mixed with western elements. Ahi-tuna salad comes to mind. Like flies, these places are inhabited by shaved headed “bro\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s” in an un-tucked shiny shirt using a pair of chopsticks in one hand and bumping fists with other “bro\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s” Tapout-style. Good God. <\/p>\n
Fusion, however, for Frito-Lay means “Sizzlin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Cayenne & Cheese.” Both respective packages have “Fiery Fusion” written in red orange to clue you in that it is “sizzlin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122” which may be different from sizzling.<\/p>\n
Frito Lay has played around with spicy offerings before in regards to both brands. The wasabi dusted Mr. Dragon\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Fire Chips Doritos were a bit flaccid in the heat department but tasty. The progressively hot “Degree Burn” series released by Doritos are another good example. Not one to be eclipsed, Cheetos brought out their FLAMIN\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 HOT and Cheddar Jalape\u00c3\u00b1o variations. Without a fist bump to spare, I gave in and bought both at the gas station bro.<\/p>\n
Doritos Fiery Fusion<\/b><\/p>\n
![\"Doritos](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6078\/6091058536_d75615bc2c.jpg?resize=500%2C375\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nUpon opening, an immediate rich smell of peppers emanated from the bag and this was a good sign. The chips had the normal orange look of Doritos without a fleck of red powder. At first crunch, it tastes like a nacho chip crossed with a barbecue potato chip if you can imagine that. Then the comforting vinegar tang hits your senses. The chips had a faint earthy sweetness, almost like brown sugar. While it tasted good, I was ready to chalk up my $1.29 as a casualty because I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sense any heat. <\/p>\n
Like sleight of hand, I never saw it coming or in this case\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6taste. A slow burn started to build on my tongue and then it crept to the back of my throat before I even knew it. This was really good. The more I ate, the hotter my mouth became. Surprisingly, the heat also never competed with the flavor unlike so many other spicy chips. I prefer the gradual fire that builds into a storm and would say the effect is similar here.<\/p>\n
These chips are the hottest Doritos I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve eaten. They taste better and are spicier than the Doritos Flamas that has been selling as of late. And unlike the Flamas, I left no red handprints all over my walls like it was the freaking ending of Blair Witch<\/i>. <\/p>\n
Let me caution you, do not expect a capsaicin-fueled roller coaster or your tongue to IGNITE (as the bag claims it will). Even though these are the spiciest Doritos I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had, it is far from the spiciest food I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve ever eaten. I would place the Doritos way above the level of Taco Bell\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Fire sauce but below Tabasco. Still, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a welcome punch from a bag of corn tortilla chips. My only complaint is wishing Doritos would turn up the heat a bit more, but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s negligible.<\/p>\n
Despite my feelings, these Doritos really can back up their claim that these are hot. The burn will linger around for a minute and then it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s gone, like a sip of good angry bourbon. I would buy these again. It satiated my hunger for something spicy and who doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t love a Dorito chip now and then? Or a bourbon? Fistbump yo!<\/p>\n
Cheetos Fiery Fusion<\/b><\/p>\n
![\"Cheetos](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6208\/6091057728_345596493c.jpg?resize=500%2C375\")
<\/a><\/center><\/p>\nI waited almost a day to open these, partly because I didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to eat them immediately after the Doritos and not get a clean taste. \u00e2\u20ac\u00a6Mostly because I spent the rest of the day on a scotch fueled bender celebrating my friend\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s birthday. (Extreeeeeme!!!) <\/p>\n
So here I am staring at Chester Cheetah\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s mug at five in the morning. That creepy ass show about missing people in America is on with a theme song that is as scary as the one from Unsolved Mysteries<\/i>. <\/p>\n
I stared at the bag over the chorus chanting “Missing. These people are missing” (see? I told you it was creepy). I went ahead and opened the bag in a clumsy manner. The smell of corn and fake cheese powder made its presence. I took one out and noticed there were patches of red splotches as if the Cheetos had a rash. <\/p>\n
Eating one, it tasted very bland. What the hell? These were really boring. Taking a swig from a can of Sprite that has been lying on the counter since the day before, I went back to bed. I needed to sleep off my impending hangover. Additionally, my mouth felt like I went down on a bag of mulch.<\/p>\n
I awoke to the sound of that CBS Sunday Morning<\/i> opening. Feeling better, I decided to give those Cheetos a second try. Lulled from the trumpet of Wynton Marsalis, I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the bag. After eating a few, I confirmed it for myself.<\/p>\n
These were so boring and dry. All I could taste was the corny corn puffs and fake-o cheese powder. The heat barely registered but like the Doritos, it would come up from the backside. That is the only similarity between the two.<\/p>\n
I would compare the heat to that of a paper cup filled with coffee and too much non-diary creamer that has been sitting in a conference room for a day because the cleaning staff was too lazy to toss it away and now there is a ring on the table, so please clean it. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t care if that is a run on sentence, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the best way I can describe the lack of any burn.<\/p>\n
Sizzlin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Cayenne & Cheese hmm? The cheese part is right but these were terrible if you could not tell. I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t taste the cayenne and eating them felt like a mouthful of Styrofoam peanuts. I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if it needed more salt or more cheese. More heat for sure.<\/p>\n
Compared to the Doritos, these Cheetos are the lazy brother who sits around all day smoking pot, perpetually borrows money to buy more vinyls, and at the end of the day has accomplished nothing but a big fart. I know I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m being harsh, but these just plain sucked. I would rather wear a stupid Affliction t-shirt than eat another.<\/p>\n
Even though it cost me $1.29, I want my money back. I feel ripped off and now I know why Chester is dancing on the bag. I want to knock his stupid sunglasses off. The bag is pushing “0 grams of trans fat” instead of how these things are so hot it will melt your eyeballs into a soup that you can drink later. This should have been a clue.<\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not sure what makes me angrier, the fact that they are so bland or that the heat is neutered. I want my $1.29 back assholes! And in pennies so I can put them in a sock and flail it into Chester\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s face. <\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – Doritos Fiery Fusion<\/b> – 1 ounce\/12 chips – 140 calories, 70 calories from fat, 8 grams of fat, 1 gram of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 16 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 0 grams of sugars, and 2 grams of protein. Cheetos Fiery Fusion<\/b> – 1 ounce\/21 bland pieces – 150 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 190 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, less than 1 gram of sugar, and 2 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Other Doritos Fiery Fusion and Cheetos Fiery Fusion review:<\/b> Items:<\/b> Doritos Fiery Fusion and Cheetos Fiery Fusion Machismo + 90\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Xtreme = the present day douchebag. I have concluded that the above is the correct formula. Or as a recipe it would read, one part exaggerated masculinity and one equal part X-Games generation, a gallon of penis envy, and a pinch of misdirected anger will give you the douchebag. Everyone remembers the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1535,1474,1657,1594],"class_list":["post-10073","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-cheetos","tag-chips","tag-doritos","tag-frito-lay"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9912,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/08\/09\/news-frito-lay-launches-cheetos-crunchy-and-doritos-fiery-fusion-snacks\/","url_meta":{"origin":10073,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: Frito-Lay Launches Cheetos Crunchy and Doritos Fiery Fusion Snacks","author":"Marvo","date":"August 9, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: Click here for our Doritos Fiery Fusion and Cheetos Fiery Fusion review Snack powerhouse, Frito-Lay, has come out with a new line of spicy snacks called Fiery Fusion. According to the Frito-Lay website, the Fiery Fusion line currently consists of Doritos Fiery Fusion and Cheetos Crunchy Fiery Fusion. What\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":54609,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2023\/01\/17\/cheetos-flamin-hot-tangy-chili-fusion-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":10073,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Tangy Chili Fusion","author":"Sean","date":"January 17, 2023","format":false,"excerpt":"I\u2019m not sure if this is true in every region or state, but in the Bay Area of California, Flamin\u2019 Hot Cheetos reign supreme. I would imagine it\u2019s the same in at least Los Angeles, San Diego, and most of Texas, where the youth get adapted to heat seeking at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/cheefhtangychilifus1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/cheefhtangychilifus1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2023\/01\/cheefhtangychilifus1-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":53426,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/10\/18\/spotted-doritos-cheetos-and-sun-chips-minis\/","url_meta":{"origin":10073,"position":2},"title":"SPOTTED: Doritos, Cheetos, and Sun Chips Minis","author":"Marvo","date":"October 18, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Pringo-Lay snacks? (Spotted by Lisa D at Dillons.)","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/firtolayminis.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/firtolayminis.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/firtolayminis.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/firtolayminis.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":49786,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/01\/19\/flamin-hot-cool-ranch-doritos-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":10073,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Flamin’ Hot Cool Ranch Doritos","author":"Erin","date":"January 19, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Look out! Chester Cheetah and his mischievous buddy Sparky are unleashing their wild sides again, this time blasting fiery clouds of spicy, neon red Cheetle all over poor, unsuspecting Cool Ranch Doritos. What exactly is fueling this fire? Did the folks at Frito-Lay accidentally make way too much Hot dust\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/flamincooldorit4.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/flamincooldorit4.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/flamincooldorit4.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/flamincooldorit4.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/flamincooldorit4.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":75932,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2026\/02\/27\/spotted-ruffles-doritos-cheetos-flavor-swap-2026\/","url_meta":{"origin":10073,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED: Ruffles Doritos Cheetos Flavor Swap 2026","author":"Marvo","date":"February 27, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"There's also a Doritos with Ruffles' Cheddar and Sour Cream seasoning. Update: Added the last flavor. (Spotted by Robbie at Dollar General and Walmart.) Spotted something new? Send your photos to theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com.","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Ruffles Flavor Swap Doritos Cool Ranch spotted at Dollar General","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rufflesflvswapdcoolran-600x750.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rufflesflvswapdcoolran-600x750.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/02\/rufflesflvswapdcoolran-600x750.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":74309,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/12\/04\/spotted-simply-nkd-doritos-and-cheetos\/","url_meta":{"origin":10073,"position":5},"title":"SPOTTED: Simply NKD Doritos and Cheetos","author":"Marvo","date":"December 4, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"While it's weird to see all these without dyes, it's especially odd to see Flamin' Hot Cheetos not look like ominous Flamin' Hot Cheetos. (Spotted by Dan at Walmart.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see new products, snap a picture of them, and send them in via an email (theimpulsivebuy@gmail.com)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/mkdcheet.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/mkdcheet.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/mkdcheet.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/mkdcheet.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/12\/mkdcheet.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10073","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10073"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10073\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10073"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10073"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10073"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nFood Junk<\/a>
\nThat Bootleg Guy<\/a>
\nHot Chicks Eatin’ Spicy Chips<\/a><\/p>\n
\nPrices:<\/b> $1.29 each (A bargain for the Doritos, an obscene rip off for the Cheetos.)
\nSize:<\/b> 3 ounces (Doritos Fiery Fusion)
\nSize:<\/b> 3.25 ounces (Cheetos Fiery Fusion)
\nPurchased at:<\/b> 7-Eleven (where the bottled water is spicier than these friggin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Cheetos)
\nRating:<\/b> 9 out of 10 (Doritos Fiery Fusion)
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 10 (Cheetos Fiery Fusion)
\nPros:<\/b> In a saturated market of spicy chips, Doritos Fiery Fusion stand out. The Doritos are hot and the flavor alone was delicious, I would eat it even if they weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t spicy. The heat lingers on both snacks and stays in the back of your throat comfortably. The Cheetos are not as bad as getting scrotum cancer. The Cheetos are also not as bad as a robot led apocalypse.
\nCons:<\/b> The Doritos could be a tad hotter. Cheetos are devoid of taste or heat. Fist bumps and sake bombs. The Cheetos have an unpleasant feel in your mouth. Theme song to Unsolved Mysteries<\/i>. Chester and his sunglasses annoy me. Cunnilingus on mulch.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"