{"id":10100,"date":"2011-09-01T10:12:32","date_gmt":"2011-09-01T20:12:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=10100"},"modified":"2023-08-07T18:06:19","modified_gmt":"2023-08-08T04:06:19","slug":"review-breyers-blasts-chips-ahoy-chocolate-chip-cookies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/09\/01\/review-breyers-blasts-chips-ahoy-chocolate-chip-cookies\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Breyers Blasts! Chips Ahoy! Chocolate Chip Cookies"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Breyers<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

[Apologies if this review is a little disjointed, I’m writing it in the throes of a nasty head cold.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s progressed to the point where my white blood cells are marshaling their forces, drawing troops away from unessential functions like “breathing” and “not feeling like shit” to prepare for the final engagement.\u00c2\u00a0 If you see another review from me in 10 days or so, they were victorious.\u00c2\u00a0 If not, tell all of their mothers that their sons died like men.\u00c2\u00a0 Cowardly, impotent men.]
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nA request was made in the comments section of my last review that I tackle some Ben & Jerry’s.\u00c2\u00a0 There actually is a new B&J flavor out that I’d love to subject to either a blistering tongue-lashing or an exquisite tongue-… something else; but as I took the liberty of pointing out, Ben & Jerry’s has a billion flavors but never the one you need.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s okay, though, because in the midst of my search, I came across this little gem: Breyer’s Blasts! Chips Ahoy! Chocolate Chip Cookies.\u00c2\u00a0 (The extra exclamation points stand for flavor and copyright protection, respectively.)\u00c2\u00a0 It seems like both a simple and a delicious concept, if not a little derivative.\u00c2\u00a0 I picked it up, but couldn’t help wondering if there would really be anything to set it apart from chocolate chip cookie dough.
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nYou can call me finicky or demanding or unfathomably sexy or stubborn if you like, but there are certain things I expect from\u00c2\u00a0a frozen dairy\u00c2\u00a0dessert\u00c2\u00a0bearing the name of a popular cookie company, and that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s that\u00c2\u00a0it A) be good, and B) taste like cookies, ideally chocolate chip, and even more ideally chocolate chip that won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make me fat.\u00c2\u00a0 Since Chips Ahoy! delivers on nearly all of that (operating under the Schr\u00c3\u00b6dinger’s Diet theory that if I don’t step on a scale, I both will and will not have gained any weight), I think we can call it an unqualified success.\u00c2\u00a0 But succinct crib notes aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t why you come to the food blog dubbed “Best Punctuated” by Consumer Reports, so allow me to expand on why this should be your next\u00c2\u00a0dessert purchase.<\/p>\n

\"Breyers<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

On first glance, Chips Ahoy! looks a lot like Moose Tracks or any other fudge-based\u00c2\u00a0frozen dairy dessert\u00c2\u00a0you can imagine.\u00c2\u00a0 The first bite, however, is enough to tell you that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s much more than that, as you get hold of a chocolate chip or two.\u00c2\u00a0 And those are good, nicely complementing the fudge stripes and giving you a little bit of texture variety.\u00c2\u00a0 But what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s even better is when you also get some cookie in there as well.\u00c2\u00a0 You won\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t in every bite, at least not in equal degrees; some bites will feel like you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re actually eating a soft\u00c2\u00a0Chipwich, while others will just have a little hint of cookie dough.\u00c2\u00a0 But it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s never completely missing, and that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s what\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s important.\u00c2\u00a0 Nearly as critical is the fact that the fudge makes its presence known without overwhelming any of the other tastes.
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nYou might have noticed that I used the word “soft.”\u00c2\u00a0 One thing I worried about with this flavor was that it would have hard chunks of cookies you could practically break your teeth on.\u00c2\u00a0 After all, they’re surrounded by freezing cold dairy dessert, not exactly conducive to softness.\u00c2\u00a0 But somehow, those sonsabitches down at the Breyers factory made the cookie chunks stay remarkably soft, possibly through the use of chemicals or dark sorcery.\u00c2\u00a0 It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s crazy how soft they are, and I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve read comics where a 5th dimensional imp rides a dog with a mask on its face accompanied by a teenage girl in a red and green dress whose sole function is to prove that Robin isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t gay.\u00c2\u00a0 So I know from crazy.
\n\u00c2\u00a0
\nBut in the end I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t particularly care how they do it, just that the cookie veins are both rich and tender.\u00c2\u00a0 Like Elvis.\u00c2\u00a0 That’s very much the case, and it comes in conjunction with smooth, tasty\u00c2\u00a0frozen dairy dessert\u00c2\u00a0and fudge that distinguishes itself instead of fading into the background like that kid from Family Matters who vanished between seasons and was never\u00c2\u00a0heard from\u00c2\u00a0again, unless you watch porn.\u00c2\u00a0 (Which I don’t, Mom.)\u00c2\u00a0 Man, I need to stop watching so much TV.\u00c2\u00a0 My foibles aside, this is some mighty delicious\u00c2\u00a0frozen dairy dessert\u00c2\u00a0whose sole negative is that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s, uh, not especially good for you.\u00c2\u00a0 Portion control is strongly recommended, but if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got the calories to spare, give this flavor a try.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts — 1\/2 cup — 140 calories, 45 calories from fat, 5 grams of total fat, 3 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 5 milligrams of cholesterol, 70 milligrams of sodium, 22 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 15 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Other Breyers Blasts! Chips Ahoy! reviews:<\/b>
\nOn Second Scoop<\/a><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Breyers Blasts! Chips Ahoy! Chocolate Chip Cookies
\nPrice:<\/b> $4.59
\nSize:<\/b> 1.5 quart
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Giant
\nRating:<\/b> 8 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Surviving the common cold.\u00c2\u00a0 Multiple exclamation points.\u00c2\u00a0 If you don’t step on the scale, you haven’t gained any weight.\u00c2\u00a0 Discernible but not overwhelming fudge.\u00c2\u00a0 Surprisingly soft cookies.\u00c2\u00a0 Rich frozen dairy dessert.\u00c2\u00a0 Most bites have at least some cookie in them.
\nCons:<\/b> Not finding the flavor you need.\u00c2\u00a0 Gaining weight if you eventually do step on the scale.\u00c2\u00a0 Not exactly a “light” dessert.\u00c2\u00a0 A little expensive.\u00c2\u00a0 Forgotten child stars.\u00c2\u00a0 Bat-Mite, Ace the Bat-Hound, and Bat-Girl.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

[Apologies if this review is a little disjointed, I’m writing it in the throes of a nasty head cold.\u00c2\u00a0 It’s progressed to the point where my white blood cells are marshaling their forces, drawing troops away from unessential functions like “breathing” and “not feeling like shit” to prepare for the final engagement.\u00c2\u00a0 If you see […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":11,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1713,1468],"class_list":["post-10100","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-breyers","tag-ice-cream"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":40924,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/11\/20\/breyers-frozen-peppermint-hot-chocolate-ice-cream-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":10100,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Breyers Limited Edition Frozen Peppermint Hot Chocolate Ice Cream","author":"Meghan","date":"November 20, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"What is Breyers Limited Edition Frozen Peppermint Hot Chocolate Ice Cream? 'Twas the month before Christmas, and all through the store No one craved ice cream, and even Dubba Scoops did not want any more; The freezers were stocked to the brim with care In hopes for warmer weather to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Breyers-Limited-Edition-Frozen-Peppermint-Hot-Chocolate-Ice-Cream-Closeup.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Breyers-Limited-Edition-Frozen-Peppermint-Hot-Chocolate-Ice-Cream-Closeup.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Breyers-Limited-Edition-Frozen-Peppermint-Hot-Chocolate-Ice-Cream-Closeup.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Breyers-Limited-Edition-Frozen-Peppermint-Hot-Chocolate-Ice-Cream-Closeup.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/11\/Breyers-Limited-Edition-Frozen-Peppermint-Hot-Chocolate-Ice-Cream-Closeup.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16227,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/01\/30\/review-breyers-gelato-indulgences-raspberry-cheesecake\/","url_meta":{"origin":10100,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Breyers Gelato Indulgences Raspberry Cheesecake","author":"Kelley","date":"January 30, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"\u201cGelato.\u201d It's a fun word to say. 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