{"id":10358,"date":"2011-10-06T12:16:27","date_gmt":"2011-10-06T22:16:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=10358"},"modified":"2020-12-24T07:34:09","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T17:34:09","slug":"review-yoplait-chocolate-banana-smoothie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/10\/06\/review-yoplait-chocolate-banana-smoothie\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Yoplait<\/a><\/p>\n

I need a smoothie to wash away the taste of the new Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie. My mouth tastes like a chocolate fondue party is happening in my mouth, but instead of suburbanites, it’s being attended by hobos, hippies, and others who think deodorant is unnecessary. <\/p>\n

Also, my mouth happens to be a room where hot yoga classes are held. Everything is creating a combination of chocolate and armpit sourness. <\/p>\n

Just like the Boston Red Sox at the beginning of this baseball season, I had high hopes for Yoplait’s Chocolate Banana Smoothie. I thought merging a cup of skim milk with Yoplait’s chocolate-flavored frozen yogurt pieces and frozen banana slices would turn into a tasty, refreshing 16-ounce smoothie that would make me temporarily forget about the Boston Red Sox’s complete choke job, but it ended up being the salt rubbed into my wounds.<\/p>\n

\"Yoplait<\/a><\/p>\n

I like chocolate, I enjoy bananas, and I’m really fond of the original Yoplait Smoothie flavors<\/a>, so I thought Yoplait’s Chocolate Banana Smoothie was going to be another home run. However, something went horribly wrong with this attempt to steal away profits from Jamba Juice.<\/p>\n

\"Yoplait<\/a><\/p>\n

There’s only two good things about Yoplait’s Chocolate Banana Smoothie. It blends easily and it has a wonderful smoothie consistency. It’s not too thick, but also not watery. Oh, there’s a third good thing about this smoothie. It’s cold. But it’s only a good thing if you pour the smoothie on top of your head to cool you down, because pouring it inside of your head via your mouth might not be enjoyable, because as I mentioned before, it’s kind of gross.<\/p>\n

Everything about its flavor is unpleasant, from the chocolate-flavored frozen yogurt to the banana to the artificial sweeteners. There’s a repulsive sourness in each sip, which probably originates from the frozen yogurt. It even smells repugnant. On top of all of that, the smoothie has an annoying grittiness.<\/p>\n

Overall, this Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie is not bananas. <\/p>\n

N-O-T-B-A-N-A-N-A-S.<\/p>\n

What?<\/p>\n

You thought I would end this review with a baseball reference. <\/p>\n

Fine.<\/p>\n

Overall, this Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie is as horrible as the number of strikeouts Orioles third baseman Mark Reynolds racks up each year.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 8 ounces prepared w\/skim milk. 130 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 80 milligrams of sodium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 15 grams of sugar, and 6 grams of protein, 4% vitamin A, 6% vitamin C, 70% calcium, and 4% iron.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.49 (on sale)
\nSize:<\/b> 7.6 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Safeway
\nRating:<\/b> 2 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Blends easily. Nice smoothie consistency. Cold.
\nCons:<\/b> This shit is not bananas. N-O-T-B-A-N-A-N-A-S. Gritty. Its strong artificial sweetener taste. My excessive use of baseball references in this review. Unsure if it contains live and active cultures, since it doesn’t say on the packaging.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I need a smoothie to wash away the taste of the new Yoplait Chocolate Banana Smoothie. My mouth tastes like a chocolate fondue party is happening in my mouth, but instead of suburbanites, it’s being attended by hobos, hippies, and others who think deodorant is unnecessary. Also, my mouth happens to be a room where […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1571,254,255],"class_list":["post-10358","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-frozen-food","tag-yogurt","tag-yoplait"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10285,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/09\/26\/news-yoplait-adds-chocolate-banana-to-their-smoothie-line\/","url_meta":{"origin":10358,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: Yoplait Adds Chocolate Banana To Their Smoothie Line","author":"Marvo","date":"September 26, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Yoplait's Smoothies have been around since 2009 and I gave them a extremely positive review. 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In 2006, they released several frozen yogurt cereal bars, which I don't\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"yoplait logo","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8311\/8043159720_9737c1d410.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2378,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/02\/16\/news-yoplaits-three-new-flavors-could-make-a-billy-joel-song-even-better\/","url_meta":{"origin":10358,"position":3},"title":"NEWS: Yoplait’s Three New Flavors Could Make a Billy Joel Song Even Better","author":"Marvo","date":"February 16, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"Yoplait yogurt comes in so many flavors that you could probably rewrite Billy Joel's \"We Didn't Start the Fire\" with nothing but Yoplait yogurt flavors. Don't believe me. Below is a list of almost all the flavors. Have at it. Cherry Orchard, Banana Cr\u00c3\u00a8me, Tropical Peach, Mango, Dulce de Leche,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":41,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/09\/21\/hood-carb-countdown-strawberry-banana-lowfat-yogurt-smoothie\/","url_meta":{"origin":10358,"position":4},"title":"Hood Carb Countdown Strawberry-Banana Lowfat Yogurt Smoothie","author":"Marvo","date":"September 21, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"The Impulsive Buy has reviewed a couple of yogurt smoothies over the past couple of months: The Yoplait Nouriche and the Dannon Frusion. 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