{"id":10564,"date":"2011-11-07T01:45:52","date_gmt":"2011-11-07T11:45:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=10564"},"modified":"2020-12-24T07:34:05","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T17:34:05","slug":"review-planters-five-alarm-chili-dry-roasted-peanuts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/11\/07\/review-planters-five-alarm-chili-dry-roasted-peanuts\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Planters<\/a><\/p>\n

OH. MY. GOODNESS.<\/p>\n

MY. MOUTH. IS. BURNING.<\/p>\n

It’s as if my mouth has been turned into a portal to Hell and demons and molten lava are bursting out of it. Please make it stop. MAKE IT STOP! <\/p>\n

It’s so hot I may never taste again because my taste buds have been destroyed by the heat. Not even ice water can soothe the scalding feeling in my mouth. It feels like I just spent seven minutes in heaven with a fire breathing dragon. IT’S SO HOT! Tell my family that I love them.<\/p>\n

The previous words are what I might’ve said if the Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts was five alarm spicy, but I think Planters is being a bit generous by calling it “Five Alarm Chili.” Even if they called it Planters Four Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts, I’d still think they were overstating how spicy they are. <\/p>\n

But then again, me likey the spicy so I may have different standards than other people when it comes to spiciness. Over the years, I’ve eaten a lot of spicy foods and during that time I’ve come up with my own spicy food scale.<\/p>\n

One Alarm<\/b> – Light burn. Quickly dissipates. Water isn’t necessary. <\/p>\n

Two Alarm<\/b> – Mild burn. Lingers a little. Sips of water might be needed.<\/p>\n

Three Alarm<\/b> – Good burn. A little bit of sweating. Large swigs of water necessary. Makes me slightly uncomfortable.<\/p>\n

Four Alarm<\/b> – Really good burn. Face excreting sweat and tears. Glasses of water necessary. Milk would be a better option. A little regret.<\/p>\n

Five Alarm<\/b> – Holy Hell that is hot! Face excreting sweat, tears, and snot. Water won’t help. My mouth screams for ice cream to cool it down. Lots of regret. Praying it’s not as spicy going out as it was going in. Lots of leftovers that may not get eaten due to fear.<\/p>\n

\"Planters<\/a><\/p>\n

If I had to place the Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts somewhere on my spiciness scale, I’d probably consider it to be Two Alarm spicy. However, I’m fine with that because if it were any spicier, the heat might’ve overshadowed the peanut’s flavor, which is quite good.<\/p>\n

When I popped one in my mouth it had a pleasant onion and garlic flavor at first and then the chili pepper flavor quickly followed along with the heat. Unfortunately, the flavoring comes in the form of a powdery coating that doesn’t stick well to the peanuts so most of it ends up at the bottom of the bottle.<\/p>\n

Even though I scoffed at Planters for calling these slightly spicy peanuts “Five Alarm,” I have to say I enjoyed scoffing them down in handfuls. <\/p>\n

Other Planters Fire Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts reviews:<\/b>
\nJunk Food Guy<\/a>
\nBrand Eating<\/a>
\nMikey’s Kitchen<\/a><\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 1 ounce\/about 39 pieces – 160 calories, 120 calories from fat, 14 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 4.5 grams of polyunsaturated fat, 7 grams of monounsaturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 160 milligrams of sodium, 200 milligrams of potassium, 5 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 1 gram of sugar, and 7 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Planters Five Alarm Chili Dry Roasted Peanuts
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.99 (on sale)
\nSize:<\/b> 1 pound
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Safeway
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Combination of flavor and spiciness is addictive. Spiciness doesn’t overpower the flavor. Awesome source of mono- and polyunsaturated fats.
\nCons:<\/b> Not five alarm spicy. Seasoning doesn’t stick well on the peanuts. Eating spicy Five Alarm foods. Spending seven minutes in heaven with a fire breathing dragon.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

OH. MY. GOODNESS. MY. MOUTH. IS. BURNING. It’s as if my mouth has been turned into a portal to Hell and demons and molten lava are bursting out of it. Please make it stop. MAKE IT STOP! It’s so hot I may never taste again because my taste buds have been destroyed by the heat. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10564","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14496,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/02\/28\/review-planters-roasted-onion-garlic-dry-roasted-peanuts\/","url_meta":{"origin":10564,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Planters Roasted Onion & Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts","author":"Jeff","date":"February 28, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Peanuts are an afterthought to me. A bowl of peanuts on your table is like a glorified piece of decoration, much like tacky wax fruit. It's saying to us at a party, \"Hey I sorta exist too!\" as it sits amongst the bowls of potato chips and Chex mixes. They\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Planters Roasted Onion Garlic Dry Roasted Peanuts","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8108\/8512801844_ca114a842a.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":14354,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/01\/30\/spotted-on-shelves-1302013\/","url_meta":{"origin":10564,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES – 1\/30\/2013","author":"Marvo","date":"January 30, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new and limited edition products found on store shelves by us and your fellow readers. Why would someone want a snack that tastes like snickerdoodles? If one wants a snack that tastes like the cookie, wouldn't real snickerdoodle cookies be that snack? (Spotted by Stephanie at\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Chex Mix Muddy Buddies Snickerdoodle","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8491\/8428506649_5b5bf97bdc.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":19183,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/10\/12\/review-planters-banana-sundae-mix\/","url_meta":{"origin":10564,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Planters Banana Sundae Mix","author":"Vin","date":"October 12, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Why does Mr. Peanut walk with a cane? Because he has \u201cplanter\u201d warts. I said, because he has plan-- BOOOOOOO! Now that I put that visual in your heads, who\u2019s hungry?! I absolutely love banana snacks. If an ice cream joint has banana on their flavor list, that\u2019s my new\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Planters Banana Sundae Mix","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm1.staticflickr.com\/640\/21485819224_ce9b9e7a73_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":45250,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2020\/10\/30\/planters-and-natural-light-beer-peanuts-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":10564,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Birthday Party Edition Planters and Natural Light Beer Flavored Peanuts","author":"Holly","date":"October 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"What are Planters Natty Light Peanuts? In celebration of Mr. Peanut turning 21, Planters has teamed up with the maker of Natural Light Beer (Anheuser-Busch) to release beer-flavored peanuts. Even though the brand has expanded into some unique flavors the past few years, this is certainly the most unique it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Birthday-Party-Edition-Planters-and-Natural-Light-Beer-Flavored-Peanuts-Closeup-Can.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Birthday-Party-Edition-Planters-and-Natural-Light-Beer-Flavored-Peanuts-Closeup-Can.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Birthday-Party-Edition-Planters-and-Natural-Light-Beer-Flavored-Peanuts-Closeup-Can.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Birthday-Party-Edition-Planters-and-Natural-Light-Beer-Flavored-Peanuts-Closeup-Can.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/10\/Birthday-Party-Edition-Planters-and-Natural-Light-Beer-Flavored-Peanuts-Closeup-Can.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":3455,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2009\/05\/08\/review-planters-triple-nut-big-nut-bar\/","url_meta":{"origin":10564,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Planters Triple Nut Big Nut Bar","author":"Marvo","date":"May 8, 2009","format":false,"excerpt":"All right. Let's get it out of the bloody way. Nuts. Balls. Nads. Gonads. Cojones. Testes. Testicles. Bollocks. Knap sack. Hacky Sack. Nards. Scrotum. Plums. Eggs. Family Jewels. Nutsack. Benjamins. Crown Jewels. Pouch. Junk. The Twins. Nuggets. Dragonballs. Man-Berries. Stones. Boys. Bag. Rocks. Nackers. Hairy Acorns. Biscuits. Left and Right\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/plattrinutbignutbar-600x450.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/plattrinutbignutbar-600x450.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/05\/plattrinutbignutbar-600x450.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":9373,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/05\/18\/news-planters-gets-their-nut-crushing-groove-on-to-make-peanut-butter\/","url_meta":{"origin":10564,"position":5},"title":"NEWS: Planters Gets Their Nut Crushing Groove On To Make Peanut Butter","author":"Marvo","date":"May 18, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Planters has done more things to nuts than male YouTubers with swollen testicles and temporary high pitched voices. They've dry roasted, lightly salted, honey roasted, chocolate covered, fruit blended, and nut mixed them, just to name a few. But the one thing male YouTubers with swollen cajones have done that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"New York. Times Square. Mr. Peanut","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.static.flickr.com\/3225\/2713385639_2a3fbd9c2b.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10564","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10564"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10564\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10564"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10564"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10564"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}