{"id":107,"date":"2004-12-24T00:00:01","date_gmt":"2004-12-24T10:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=107"},"modified":"2018-12-07T16:31:44","modified_gmt":"2018-12-08T02:31:44","slug":"maruchan-creamy-alfredo-instant-lunch-ramen-noodles","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/12\/24\/maruchan-creamy-alfredo-instant-lunch-ramen-noodles\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Maruchan Creamy Alfredo Instant Lunch Ramen Noodles"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"creamyalfredo\"\/<\/a><\/p>\n

Editor’s Note: We at the Impulsive Buy would like to wish all of our regular readers a very Merry Christmas. We hope your holiday is filled with good times with family and friends. <\/p>\n

We also hope it is filled with awesome gifts that you don’t have to return, although most likely you will have to return some because they are either too big or totally lame. <\/p>\n

Here at the Impulsive Buy all we want for Christmas is just more stuff to review or gift cards to buy stuff to review.<\/p>\n

Finally, as our crappy Christmas gift to all of our readers, we present to you “‘Twas The Day Before Christmas: The Impulsive Buy Edition”<\/i> <\/p>\n

‘Twas the day before Christmas, I had nothing to review.
\nHoly crap! What the hell was I supposed to do?
\nI looked in the cupboard, which was almost bare,
\nExcept for a cup of ramen noodles on the top shelf there.<\/p>\n

“Oh, hell no,”\u009d I said shaking my head with disgust on my face.
\nEven though I bought the ramen so I could review it in the first place.
\nCreamy Alfredo Ramen Noodles, I bought it over a month ago.
\nIt was so cheap, it only took 33 cents of my dough.<\/p>\n

I boiled water for this ramen flavor I’ve never had before.
\nPulled back the lid of the ramen to smell what was in store.
\nTook a quick whiff and then closed the lid as quickly as I could.
\nThen I said a quick prayer, got my rabbit’s foot, and knocked on wood.<\/p>\n

“People actually eat this stuff,”\u009d I couldn’t believe.
\nIt smelled so bad that I let out a few dry heaves.
\nIf I can’t stand the stench, I wonder what eating it would entail.
\nNo wonder it was labeled “Reduced Price for Quick Sale.”\u009d<\/p>\n

I let it sit for the instructed three minutes, after I added the hot aqua.
\nBut I let it sit for another five, as I prepared to eat something I didn’t wanna.
\nTaking deep breaths, meditating, and affirmations didn’t help.
\n\u201cDo it for your readers,\u201d\u009d I said to try and encourage myself.<\/p>\n

\"Maruchan<\/a><\/center><\/p>\n

I peeled back the lid and looked at the milky white mess.
\nOoh, a whole 1,370 milligrams of sodium goodness.
\nThe aroma of the Alfredo Ramen came up to my face.
\nI had a few garbage cans next to me, just in case.<\/p>\n

After a few more dry heaves, I think I was ready to consume.
\nIf it smells bad, it’s gonna taste bad, I was going to assume.
\nI picked up my fork and gave the Alfredo Ramen a stir.
\nIt really looked like vomit in a cup, I so badly wanted to defer.<\/p>\n

The first bite was not bad, but it could have been a total fluke.
\nI took a second bite, \u201cOh, man. It was. I think I’m going to puke.\u201d\u009d
\nTried to force myself to eat a third, but my body wouldn’t take the risk.
\nI put down my fork, because I had more than enough of this.<\/p>\n

I went to the sink and poured the Alfredo Ramen down the drain.
\nIf only the garbage disposal had taste buds, it would know my pain.
\nAfter a few spins of the garbage disposal, it was all disintegrated.
\nBut even with all of it gone, I still felt so nauseated.<\/p>\n

So I sprang to my car and headed to the nearest drive-thru.
\nA burger and fries will help me cope with what I’ve just been through.
\nAfter eating fast food and getting some rest, I began to feel all right,
\nMerry Christmas to all and avoid Alfredo Ramen for the rest of your life.<\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Maruchan Creamy Alfredo Instant Lunch Ramen Noodles
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $0.33 (on sale)
\nRating:<\/b> 0 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Dirt cheap.
\nCons:<\/b> Smells like puke. Looks like puke. Tastes like puke. May make you puke.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Editor’s Note: We at the Impulsive Buy would like to wish all of our regular readers a very Merry Christmas. We hope your holiday is filled with good times with family and friends. We also hope it is filled with awesome gifts that you don’t have to return, although most likely you will have to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[61],"class_list":["post-107","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-ramen"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":10772,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/12\/06\/announcement-support-the-impulsive-buy-this-gift-giving-season\/","url_meta":{"origin":107,"position":0},"title":"ANNOUNCEMENT: Support The Impulsive Buy This Gift Giving Season","author":"Marvo","date":"December 6, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"This holiday season, if you're planning to purchase something from Amazon for your family, friends, co-workers, or lover(s), might I suggest when you do so, you use The Impulsive Buy's Amazon link below or in the right sidebar. The Impulsive Buy's Amazon link By using The Impulsive Buy's Amazon link,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":7555,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2010\/10\/21\/announcement-want-to-write-for-the-impulsive-buy-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":107,"position":1},"title":"ANNOUNCEMENT: Want To Write For The Impulsive Buy?","author":"Marvo","date":"October 21, 2010","format":false,"excerpt":"For over six years, The Impulsive Buy has been the blog that thousands of procrastinating college students and bored office workers go to when they've caught up with all the panty flashes and nipple slips on The Superficial. The Impulsive Buy is the number one blog on the internet that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Announcement"","block_context":{"text":"Announcement","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/announcement\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":369,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/06\/14\/300th-review-prize-drawing\/","url_meta":{"origin":107,"position":2},"title":"300th Review Prize Drawing!!!","author":"Marvo","date":"June 14, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Wow! 300 reviews! I can't believe The Impulsive Buy has reached this milestone. But what's more impressive is the fact that I didn't need illegal performance enhancing drugs to reach it. All it took was hard work and dedication. Some of you might say, \"Well isn't caffeine a performance enhancing\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":559,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/12\/25\/happy-holidays-from-tib\/","url_meta":{"origin":107,"position":3},"title":"Happy Holidays from TIB!","author":"Marvo","date":"December 25, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"Good News - We at The Impulsive Buy would like to wish all our readers either a Merry Christmas, belated Happy Hanukkah, or early Kwanzaa. We hope your holidays are spent with good friends, good food, and good fun. Bad News - We at The Impulsive Buy will be taking\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":15871,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/12\/04\/prize-drawing-because-its-the-season-of-giving-2013-edition\/","url_meta":{"origin":107,"position":4},"title":"PRIZE DRAWING: Because It’s The Season of Giving (2013 Edition)","author":"Marvo","date":"December 4, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Gift cards are a popular Christmas gift. They are also a popular blog giveaway prize. Because it's the season of giving and the season of receiving gift cards, we are giving away, not one, but two $25 gift cards -- one from McDonald's and one from Subway. To enter The\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Prize Drawing"","block_context":{"text":"Prize Drawing","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/prize-drawing\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"IMG_1258","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3718\/11203400956_b8e65fbc8d.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":268,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/08\/09\/happy-first-anniversary-or-happy-blogiversary\/","url_meta":{"origin":107,"position":5},"title":"Happy First Anniversary!!! (Or Happy Blogiversary!!!)","author":"Marvo","date":"August 9, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"One year ago today, the first ever review was posted here at the Impulsive Buy, which was for the almost drinkable Natural Citrus Listerine. Since then, the Impulsive Buy has posted 217 product reviews. However, 212 of them suck. It's been a fun and interesting year here at the Impulsive\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=107"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/107\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=107"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=107"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=107"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}