{"id":11160,"date":"2012-01-25T01:40:09","date_gmt":"2012-01-25T11:40:09","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=11160"},"modified":"2023-08-25T20:10:53","modified_gmt":"2023-08-26T06:10:53","slug":"review-capn-crunchs-chocolatey-crunch","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/01\/25\/review-capn-crunchs-chocolatey-crunch\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Cap'n<\/a><\/p>\n

After tasting Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch cereal, I decided I want to become the captain of a pirate ship so that I can hunt down Cap’n Crunch’s ship and send him and his crew to Davy Jones’ Locker using a barrage of cannonballs painted to look like Crunch Berries.<\/p>\n

Despite it being made with real cocoa and being naturally and artificially flavored, Chocolatey Crunch’s flavor is extremely disappointing. I think they put the wrong suffix in this cereal’s name. Instead of it being called Chocolatey Crunch, it should’ve been called Chocolateish Crunch. <\/p>\n

It’s such a let down that if I can’t become the captain of a pirate ship, I’ll try to become an admiral in whatever navy Horatio Magellan Crunch belongs to and demote the Cap’n to a ship’s bird poop remover. <\/p>\n

The cereal itself looks like regular Cap’n Crunch that either spent a week sunbathing in Brazil or is into Japanese Ganguro fashion<\/a>. It looks like it’s going to be chocolatey, but my tongue says it’s not. This tricking of my senses makes me want to put Cap’n Crunch in a cage match with Captain Hook who is armed with Captain Caveman’s club and Captain America’s shield, and has been drinking a lot of Captain Morgan.<\/p>\n

\"Cap'n<\/a><\/p>\n

On a scale from one to ten, with ten being skinny dipping in the Wonka factory’s chocolate river and one being far downwind from someone holding up a spoonful of hot cocoa mix, the chocolate level of Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch cereal would be a three. It’s a step above Kellogg’s Cocoa Krispies, but many steps below Cocoa Puffs and Cocoa Pebbles. There’s a sweetness to the cereal, but I wouldn’t consider it chocolatey. So it appears the real cocoa doesn’t do a good job of giving this cereal or the aftermilk a nice chocolate flavor. Dammit. I never thought I’d say these words: I wish this cereal was more artificially flavored.<\/p>\n

Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch cereal is lighter and crisper than regular Cap’n Crunch, so eating it won’t shred your upper palate raw. But that’s the only real positive I can think of. <\/p>\n

I’m just extremely disappointed with Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch cereal. The combination of Cap’n Crunch and chocolate had the potential to be one of the greatest chocolatey cereals ever, but it instead ended up being one of the least chocolatey cereals I’ve ever had. Cap’n Crunch should be forced to walk the plank because of this cereal.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 3\/4 cup (cereal only) – 110 calories, 10 calories from fat, 1 gram of fat, 0.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 60 milligrams of potassium, 23 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of fiber, 11 grams of sugar, 11 grams of other carbohydrates, 1 gram of protein, and a load of vitamins and minerals.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.00 (on sale)
\nSize:<\/b> 14 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Don Quijote
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Doesn’t make your upper palate raw. A serving provides 100 percent of your daily value of folic acid. Sending Cap’n Crunch to Davy Jones’ Locker.
\nCons:<\/b> Real cocoa doesn’t make this cereal taste real good. Weak chocolate flavor. Had the potential to be a great cereal. Doesn’t turn the aftermilk chocolatey. Japanese women into Ganguro fashion<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

After tasting Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch cereal, I decided I want to become the captain of a pirate ship so that I can hunt down Cap’n Crunch’s ship and send him and his crew to Davy Jones’ Locker using a barrage of cannonballs painted to look like Crunch Berries. Despite it being made with real […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1653,1472,1598],"class_list":["post-11160","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-capn-crunch","tag-cereal","tag-quaker"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9646,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/07\/05\/news-make-your-upper-palate-raw-with-capn-crunchs-chocolatey-crunch\/","url_meta":{"origin":11160,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: Make Your Upper Palate Raw With Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolatey Crunch","author":"Marvo","date":"July 5, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Despite its possible mouth shredding abilities, I'm a fan of Cap'n Crunch. There's something about that sweetened golden cereal that makes my tongue set sail for Yum Island. I'm also a fan of chocolate, despite its waist expanding abilities. So I'm excited about the two of them combining to form\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":12645,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/06\/18\/news-crunch-into-capn-crunchs-crunchy-cinnamon-roll-crunch-crunch-crunch\/","url_meta":{"origin":11160,"position":1},"title":"NEWS: Crunch Into Cap’n Crunch’s Crunchy Cinnamon Roll Crunch…Crunch Crunch","author":"Marvo","date":"June 18, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: Click here to read our Cap'n Crunch's Cinnamon Roll Crunch review My mouth has been cut up by regular Cap'n Crunch and I've been burned by Cap'n Crunch's Chocolatey Crunch. So I might stay away from Cap'n Crunch's new Cinnamon Roll Crunch. 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Looks like someone trying really hard to be Admir'l\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Cap'n Crunch Sprinkled Donut Crunch","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm3.staticflickr.com\/2892\/11795490526_427b3f0c0e.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":34260,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/01\/22\/capn-crunchs-chocolate-berry-crunch-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":11160,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Cap’n Crunch’s Chocolate Berry Crunch Cereal","author":"Sean","date":"January 22, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"What is Cap'n Crunch's Chocolate Berry Crunch? It's Cap\u2019n Crunch's newest creation and ode to Valentine\u2019s Day \u2013 Chocolate Berry Crunch. According to the box, this cereal is \u201cdecadence \u2013 if you like the taste of chocolate \u2013 Love. This. Crunch.\u201d Combining the Cap\u2019n\u2019s classic red crunch berries with a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Limited-Edition-Capn-Crunchs-Chocolatey-Berry-Crunch-Cereal-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Limited-Edition-Capn-Crunchs-Chocolatey-Berry-Crunch-Cereal-3.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Limited-Edition-Capn-Crunchs-Chocolatey-Berry-Crunch-Cereal-3.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Limited-Edition-Capn-Crunchs-Chocolatey-Berry-Crunch-Cereal-3.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/Limited-Edition-Capn-Crunchs-Chocolatey-Berry-Crunch-Cereal-3.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18500,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/05\/19\/spotted-on-shelves-capn-crunchs-caramel-popcorn-crunch-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":11160,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Cap’n Crunch’s Caramel Popcorn Crunch Cereal","author":"Marvo","date":"May 19, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Update: We reviewed it! Click here to read our review. There's Chocolatey Crunch and Cinnamon Roll Crunch, so why not have another Cap'n Crunch Cereal flavor that starts with the letter C. (Spotted by Kelly at Walmart.) 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Also, those look as if they could do some Cap'n Crunch-type damage to my upper palate. 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