![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/mre01a.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get me wrong. I may be a passive pacifist, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not one of those beatniks who believe that everything can be solved without violence. Somebody has to be the bully or the badass with the poo on the stick once in awhile, but Jack Bauer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chewing Doublemint gum right now, so he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a bit too busy to kick ass, and Chuck Norris is retired from Delta Force\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6which is why we have military forces to take their place, armed with state-of-the-art weapons and MREs (Meals Ready to Eat). <\/p>\n
Cheese Omelet with Vegetables Power Performance MRE is fairly low in calories and quite nutritious for something its size, but that comes with a caveat. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s got the longest list of ingredients for an omelet I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve ever seen. Here\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a quick rundown of what it contains (which is only a wee fraction of the entire list): liquid eggs, cottage cheese, green chilies, mozzarella, water, cream, modified starch, and about seven or eight preservatives. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s just like dear old grandma\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s secret recipe for a prize-winning omelet (incidentally, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m still waiting for her to pass on her coveted buck cake recipe)! It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s supposedly designed to last for at least 14 years, which explains the caveat, I guess. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also packed so full of cholesterol that the plaque-y goodness must aid the preservation process.<\/p>\n
I tore open this bag to find myself utterly devoid of patriotism. I knew that MREs had a bad reputation, but this was completely uncalled for. It belongs on a stick\u00e2\u20ac\u00a6a very long stick. It tastes like crap and quite frankly it reminds me of really terrible and rancid coffee, which dominates the palate, both on and off the tongue. The texture is basically what you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d expect; extra congealed and crumbly, with the dryness of extra hard boiled egg yolks despite an eerie moistness, which is the only thing remotely egg-y about this thing. The veggies were a lost cause as well, since their flavors were completely dominated and their texture was soggier than wet toilet paper. It smelled like really bad tin can food. <\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/mre02.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nI tried to play with it and build little mounds of crap for my green soldiers to march over, but my wee plastic commandos mutinied and started an underground bordello for G.I. Joes and Mr. Potato Heads. This thing is completely irredeemable and worthless like Switzerland\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s military might. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a giant fuck you to our soldiers, who deserve better like laser ray guns that go pew pew or robot butlers\/maids.<\/p>\n
At least it comes with a sah-weet brown spoon. Let me tell you, this spoon is truly badass compared to all the other wimpy plastic spoons out there. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s frickin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 Schwarzenegger from Commando or Terminator 2. This spoon is bigger, stronger, thicker, and heavier than your average plastic spoon. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s brown so you can eat this crap without breaking your camouflage cover, if the smell didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t give you away first. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s also strong enough that it can be used as a weapon of minor destruction if one finds themselves without anything else after killing too many sissy minions. Now that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s American justice: death by plastic spoon. Too bad it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not a spork.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/mre03.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\n(Nutrition Facts – 1 mysterious package – 300 calories, 16 grams of fat, 4.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 530 milligrams of cholesterol, 680 milligrams of sodium, 14 grams of carbohydrates, 1 grams of dietary fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 23 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> MRE – Cheese Omelet with Vegetables\u00e2\u20ac\u00a8
\nPrice:<\/b> $4.45
\nSize:<\/b> 8 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> eBay
\nRating:<\/b> 0 out of 10 (8\/10 for the badass spoon)
\nPros:<\/b> Nutritious. Shelf-stable. Badass brown spoon. Grandma\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s buck cake recipe. Bordellos. A badass with poo on a stick. Death by spoon.
\nCons:<\/b> Rancid coffee-taste. Terrible tin can food smell. Crumbly texture. Long list of ingredients. A number of preservatives. Jack Bauer chewing gum. Plaque-y goodness of cholesterol. No badass spork.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get me wrong. I may be a passive pacifist, but I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not one of those beatniks who believe that everything can be solved without violence. Somebody has to be the bully or the badass with the poo on the stick once in awhile, but Jack Bauer\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s chewing Doublemint gum right now, so he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1753],"class_list":["post-1272","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":20011,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2016\/05\/03\/fast-food-news-dunkin-donuts-bacon-supreme-omelet-breakfast-sandwich\/","url_meta":{"origin":1272,"position":0},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Dunkin’ Donuts Bacon Supreme Omelet Breakfast Sandwich","author":"Marvo","date":"May 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"So what's \"supreme\" about the omelet in Dunkin' Donut's new Bacon Supreme Omelet Breakfast Sandwich? The omelet has twice the amount of egg than Dunkin' Donut's regular breakfast sandwiches, and it's filled red and green bell peppers, potatoes, Monterey Jack cheese, and green onions. Along with the supreme omelet, the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dunkin Donuts Bacon Supreme Omelet Breakfast Sandwich","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Dunkin-Donuts-Bacon-Supreme-Omelet-Breakfast-Sandwich.jpeg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Dunkin-Donuts-Bacon-Supreme-Omelet-Breakfast-Sandwich.jpeg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Dunkin-Donuts-Bacon-Supreme-Omelet-Breakfast-Sandwich.jpeg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":46986,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2021\/06\/18\/spotted-6-18-2021\/","url_meta":{"origin":1272,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED – 6\/18\/2021","author":"Marvo","date":"June 18, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you've tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. (Spotted by Amanda Y at Tom Thumb.) (Spotted by Amanda Y at Tom Thumb.) (Spotted by Amanda Y at Tom Thumb.)\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/pillsburypullapartkit.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/pillsburypullapartkit.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/pillsburypullapartkit.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/pillsburypullapartkit.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/06\/pillsburypullapartkit.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17736,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/10\/21\/fast-food-news-carls-jr-and-hardees-double-loaded-omelet-biscuit\/","url_meta":{"origin":1272,"position":2},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Carl’s Jr. and Hardee’s Double Loaded Omelet Biscuit","author":"Marvo","date":"October 21, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Do you use Photoshop to turn a Carl's Jr.\/Hardee's Loaded Omelet Biscuit in a photo into a Double Loaded Omelet Biscuit because no location will make it a reality for you, so you're forced to dream via Photoshop? 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