![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/sequoia01.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nThere\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a saying: If it ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t broke, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fix it. <\/p>\n
I usually thought of it as a bullshit saying because where\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the fun in that? Evil geniuses like me couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fail to take over the world if we lived by those stupid sayings. Batman wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have had the rubber nipples suit and my neighbor in college wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have come up with novel ways to flash his hairy balls at me. Okay, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t exactly have a infallible worldwide domination plot, but I have my evil laugh down, so I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m halfway there! It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s essentially a bastardized version of Dr. Evil\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s laugh, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s MY bastardized version. <\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve always loved the original Kit Kat bars, and they were my favorite candy as a kid, so when I saw this at the checkout counter, I admit I was a bit eager to see a Japanese company\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s take on this classic. I soon learned that I had made a horrible mistake.<\/p>\n
It looks like a stick of strawberry gum, complete with white specks and streaks. Definitely not appealing despite its strawberry yogurt smell, which was actually kind of nice. My first thought after biting into this was, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Sweet Evil Jesus!\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Seriously, where\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the strawberry? And my god, what is up with this artificial chemical taste that just bursts out with the first bite? I could barely taste the strawberry over the very artificial vanilla cream, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153strawberry\u00e2\u20ac\u009d coating and the stale wafer inside. It actually almost tastes like how paint smells. <\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/sequoia02.jpg\")
<\/p>\n
I guess the target audience is for people with children…people who want to mindfuck with their children. This would actually make a decent punishment, sort of like when I was expecting a Super Nintendo on a Christmas morning and I got my hopes up so high that I cried when I tore the wrapping to find out it was just a lousy 3D Empire State Building puzzle. But the worst part? It was missing 3 pieces. <\/p>\n
I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to say that one of the good things about it is that it comes in a pack of five, but unfortunately, it means there are five pieces. The only redeeming thing about this candy is the hexagonal box it comes in. If I hold it just right, I can cover up the name of the candy and tell others that it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a smaller version of a Toblerone. Well, that, and it makes a dandy place to hide my blueprints for an underground cave lair complete with a cage for my evil guinea pig, Fuck Nut. <\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1 and a quarter sticks – 158 calories, 8.7 grams of fat, 1 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 19 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 9 grams of sugar, 1.6 grams of protein, and the tears of children.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Furuta Sequoia Strawberry Chocolate\u00e2\u20ac\u00a8
\nPrice:<\/b> $2.69\u00e2\u20ac\u00a8
\nSize:<\/b> 30 grams\u00e2\u20ac\u00a8
\nPurchased at:<\/b> China Mart\u00e2\u20ac\u00a8
\nRating:<\/b> 1 out of 10 \u00e2\u20ac\u00a8
\nPros:<\/b> Hairy balls. Strawberry yogurt smell. Mindfucking children. Container makes a dandy hiding place. Evil guinea pig named Fuck Nut.\u00e2\u20ac\u00a8
\nCons:<\/b> Bubblegum appearance. Artificial and chemical tastes. Paint smell taste. Overpowering vanilla cr\u00c3\u00a8me. Stale Wafer. Lousy 3D puzzle. 5 pieces.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
There\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a saying: If it ain\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t broke, don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fix it. I usually thought of it as a bullshit saying because where\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the fun in that? Evil geniuses like me couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fail to take over the world if we lived by those stupid sayings. Batman wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have had the rubber nipples suit and my neighbor in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1471,1536],"class_list":["post-1331","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-candy","tag-japan"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":601,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2008\/04\/28\/casa-fiesta-beef-tamales\/","url_meta":{"origin":1331,"position":0},"title":"Casa Fiesta Beef Tamales","author":"Ace","date":"April 28, 2008","format":false,"excerpt":"My doctor told me last week that I wasn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t getting enough of my fat intake from canned foods. Actually, he told me that I was lucky to make it to his office from my car, but this is what I would buy if the previous sentence were true. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Casa\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":20,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2004\/08\/27\/personal-oral-b-brush-ups\/","url_meta":{"origin":1331,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Oral-B Brush-Ups","author":"Marvo","date":"August 27, 2004","format":false,"excerpt":"Ever brush your teeth with your finger? I have several times after waking up next to some girl I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even know and let me tell you, it really doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t work very well. You end up with toothpaste under your nail and you don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t get consistent toothpaste foaming. Sure I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":141,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/02\/09\/itunes-gift-card\/","url_meta":{"origin":1331,"position":2},"title":"iTunes Gift Card","author":"Marvo","date":"February 9, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Damn you, VH1\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s I Love the 80s and I Love the 90s for sticking in my head those songs that I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d like to forget. But now they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re stuck in my head and I have the urge to buy them. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m a Barbie Girl\/In the Barbie world\/Life in plastic\/It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s fantastic\/You can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":119,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/01\/10\/reduced-sugar-cocoa-puffs\/","url_meta":{"origin":1331,"position":3},"title":"Reduced Sugar Cocoa Puffs","author":"Marvo","date":"January 10, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"Where the hell is Sonny? I want to barbeque his orange-feathered ass. What\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s up with this 3\/4 less sugar in his Cocoa Puffs? Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t Sonny realize he\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s ruining the lives of grade school children everywhere? Sending them to school without adequate sugar levels is a recipe for failure in the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":236,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/06\/23\/x-it-strong-mints-with-guarana\/","url_meta":{"origin":1331,"position":4},"title":"X-It Strong Mints with Guarana","author":"Marvo","date":"June 23, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"(Editor\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Note: It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Day Four of Energy Week here at The Impulsive Buy and today I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be focusing my attention on energy breath mints. Yes, energy breath mints, which look like smaller Vivarin, except without near illegal amounts of caffeine, withdrawals, and trembling of hands. Enjoy.) Hey baby doll! How\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":169,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/03\/10\/del-monte-carb-clever-sliced-pears\/","url_meta":{"origin":1331,"position":5},"title":"Del Monte Carb Clever Sliced Pears","author":"Marvo","date":"March 10, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"(Dialing phone number on magic glowing red phone that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s on fire) (Phone ringing) HITLER: Guten Tag. MARVO: Hey, Adolf, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Marvo. HITLER: Ahhh, Marvo! How\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s it hanging? MARVO: Pretty good. So how\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s Hell treating you? 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