{"id":14129,"date":"2012-12-19T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2012-12-19T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=14129"},"modified":"2023-09-05T16:53:00","modified_gmt":"2023-09-06T02:53:00","slug":"review-materne-apple-mango-pineapple-banana-gogo-squeez-fast-fruit","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/12\/19\/review-materne-apple-mango-pineapple-banana-gogo-squeez-fast-fruit\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Materne Apple Mango Pineapple Banana GoGo squeeZ Fast Fruit"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Materne<\/a><\/p>\n

Fruits are Mother Nature’s candy. <\/p>\n

However, even though I can walk into the produce section of a grocery store and easily buy pounds of Mother Nature’s candy and get sick from eating it all at one time like a kid with inattentive parents and a jack-o’-lantern pail full of candy on Halloween, I still don’t consume enough fruit. <\/p>\n

I also don’t eat enough of Mother Nature’s medicine (vegetables) and Mother Nature’s fun pills (Psilocybin mushrooms).<\/p>\n

I don’t consume a lot of fruits because I’m horrible at picking fruits that don’t have some kind of defect, the produce guy at my usual grocery store handles fruit in a creepy way, and cheeseburgers and potato chips always block my mouth from getting any. <\/p>\n

Materne is a company many of you have never heard of, but you’ve probably seen and\/or purchased their applesauce pouches for children — GoGo squeeZ (Yes, that’s how they spell it). According to Materne, 30 percent of their fruit pouches for kids are consumed for adults. I believe that number is accurate because I enjoy eating Kid Cuisine frozen entrees and stabbing Capri Sun pouches from time to time.<\/p>\n

Perhaps, in order to stop parents from eating their kid’s snacks, Materne introduced a line of adult fruit pouches called GoGo squeeZ Fast Fruit.<\/p>\n

The adult snack, which could be consumed by kids for revenge, comes in three flavors: Apple Raspberry Cranberry, Apple Peach Passion Fruit, and, the one I’ve been sucking on, Apple Mango Pineapple Banana.<\/p>\n

Sucking?<\/p>\n

Well, in order to get the fruit out of the pouch and into your mouth, you could be civilized and squeeze out the pouch’s contents into a bowl and eat the mashed fruits with a spoon. Or you can do what I imagine most people do, which is GoGo sucK the fruit out of the pouch.<\/p>\n

Each 4.2-ounce pouch, which is just an ounce more than the children-sized GoGo squeeZ, contains three-fourths of a small apple, a slice of mango, a wedge of pineapple, and a slice of banana. That farmer’s market of fruit equals one fruit serving. The contents of the BPA-free pouch are also gluten-free, vegan, all-natural, certified kosher, and contains no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives.<\/p>\n

\"Materne<\/a><\/p>\n

Even though it contains a number of fruits, the Apple Mango Banana Pineapple Banana GoGo squeeZ looks, tastes, and has the same consistency as applesauce. My taste buds could detect a hint of banana and mango, but if a civilized person secretly squeezed out the mashed fruit from one of these pouches and served it to me in a bowl, I would think it looks and tastes like applesauce. <\/p>\n

To be honest, I was a little disappointed I didn’t get a small tropical party in my mouth.<\/p>\n

However, Apple Mango Pineapple Banana GoGo squeeZ is some mighty tasty mashed fruit. After I sucked the pouch dry, I wished there was more mashed fruit. I even used every toothpaste tube emptying technique I knew of to try and get every bit of fruit out of each pouch. <\/p>\n

If only GoGo squeeZ Fast Fruit came in larger pouches. Although, if they did, I might not be able to hide them in an inner jacket pocket, like was a gin-filled hip flask, so I can sneak in quick shots of fruit.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 1 pouch – 80 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 milligrams of sodium, 20 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of fiber, 17 grams of sugar, and 1 gram of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Materne Apple Mango Pineapple Banana GoGo squeeZ Fast Fruit
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $4.29
\nSize:<\/b> 4 pack
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Target
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Mighty tasty mashed fruit. Tasty enough that I wished the pouches were bigger. Pouches are portable. Gluten-free, vegan, all-natural, certified kosher, and contains no artificial colors, flavors, or preservatives
\nCons:<\/b> Tastes too similar to ordinary applesauce. Mango, pineapple, and banana didn’t have a strong presence. Pricier than buying regular fruit. Eating too much candy on Halloween.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Fruits are Mother Nature’s candy. However, even though I can walk into the produce section of a grocery store and easily buy pounds of Mother Nature’s candy and get sick from eating it all at one time like a kid with inattentive parents and a jack-o’-lantern pail full of candy on Halloween, I still don’t […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[2255],"class_list":["post-14129","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc-foods"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":9396,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/05\/23\/news-jamba-juices-new-line-of-fruit-refreshers-includes-mother-natures-gatorade\/","url_meta":{"origin":14129,"position":0},"title":"NEWS: Jamba Juice’s New Line of Fruit Refreshers Includes Mother Nature’s Gatorade","author":"Marvo","date":"May 23, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"Coconut water has been praised by people who are much skinnier than me and do something called exercise for being a fat free beverage that contains electrolytes, potassium, and antioxidants. 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