{"id":14419,"date":"2013-02-14T09:17:51","date_gmt":"2013-02-14T19:17:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=14419"},"modified":"2020-12-24T11:25:55","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T21:25:55","slug":"review-mike-tysons-black-energy-drink-poland","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/02\/14\/review-mike-tysons-black-energy-drink-poland\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Mike Tyson\u2019s Black Energy Drink (Poland)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Mike<\/a>I guess you could do worse than Mike Tyson as your product spokesperson. Granted there was that whole sex crime conviction and he did rip a guy\u2019s ear off with his teeth and he did threaten to eat a guy\u2019s children. But still. Spokesmen have been known to do worse. <\/p>\n

I’m sure we all remember back in late 90s when the Jolly Green Giant rolled his Pontiac Fiero in the desert outside Reno after a four day meth bender. Sure he survived relatively unharmed, but sadly his diminutive life companion Sprout did not. The trial was sad and left the giant a broken man. And the next morning’s New York Times headline didn’t help his state of mind, mocking his beloved Jingle. “Ho, ho, ho! Maaaanslaughter. ”<\/p>\n

Then it came to light that the only things Poppin’ Fresh was poppin’ were handfuls of OxyContin. <\/p>\n

And I don\u2019t even want to mention when Mr. Peanut\u2019s fetish video surfaced. <\/p>\n

Though I’m sure none of us were very surprised when Cap’n Crunch stabbed that guy outside of that Hooters in San Bernardino.<\/p>\n

I used to be a Mike Tyson fan. When I was a kid, I loved him. Sure, I\u2019d never seen him in a real life boxing match, nor had I ever heard him speak. But he was about the toughest NES boss I\u2019d ever come across at that point in my life. That\u2019s gotta count for something. <\/p>\n

\"Mike<\/a>I guess my first real falling out with ol\u2019 Iron Mike came in 1990 when he lost the title to Buster Douglas. Again, I hadn\u2019t seen a second of that fight (like my mom would ever let me get anything on Pay-Per-View). All I knew was that I\u2019d been looking forward to Tyson refereeing a match between the then-heroic Hulk Hogan and the then-alive Macho King Randy Savage on Saturday Night\u2019s Main Event<\/i>, and now I would have to watch a boxing champion referee who didn\u2019t star in a video game I\u2019d been playing for years! What a disappointment. <\/p>\n

Since then, like most of the world, I\u2019ve watched with mild interest (and pity), Tyson\u2019s slow descent from the God of Punching to a guy who just sort of floats around in the pop culture ether, showing up in stuff every once in a while.<\/p>\n

And what better stop on that weird downward spiral than a stint as a peddler for this Polish energy drink.<\/p>\n

Mike Tyson\u2019s Black Energy. <\/p>\n

First off, I like the can design. Simple and straightforward. Mike\u2019s face tattoo is not something you\u2019ll miss on a shelf. And a quick scan of the ingredients list reveals my new favorite drink ingredient: “aroma.” <\/p>\n

Popping the top revealed a very Red Bullesque (Red Bullian?) nosegrope. Underwhelming. I was hoping “aroma” was going to be champion sweat. <\/p>\n

\"Mike<\/a><\/p>\n

The drink itself is the color of my pee when I realize I haven\u2019t had a liquid other than coffee in a few days. I was really hoping it was going to be intensely black. The drink. Not my pee. <\/p>\n

Although\u2026<\/p>\n

\"Mike<\/a><\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know what I was expecting this to taste like. Mike Tyson with part of Evander Holyfield\u2019s ear in his mouth was at the front of my mind. All of those Polish jokes I\u2019ve heard old people tell, in the back of my mind. I was hoping for some intensely foul craziness. But Mike Tyson\u2019s Black Energy just tastes like Red Bull, though maybe not quite as sharp. Disappointing in the grand scheme, but I do like the Red Bull.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re in Poland, I recommend picking up a can, if for no other reason than to have it on a shelf in your cubicle. Because why wouldn\u2019t you?<\/p>\n

I also recommend YouTubing the Black Energy commercials<\/a>. <\/p>\n

I also recommend watching that Hulk Hogan match.<\/p>\n

I also recommend playing Mike Tyson\u2019s Punch Out<\/i>.<\/p>\n

That is all.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts \u2013 100 mL \u2013 46 calories, 0 grams of fat, 0 grams of saturated fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, .1 grams of sodium, 10.8 grams of carbohydrates, 10.8 grams of sugar, and 0 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Mike Tyson\u2019s Black Energy Drink (Poland)
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $5.99
\nSize:<\/b> 250 mL
\nPurchased at:<\/b> eBay
\nRating:<\/b> 7 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Red Bull. Soda Popinksi. Early 90s WWF. Poland. Champion sweat.
\nCons:<\/b> Pee. Buster Douglas. Face tattoos. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I guess you could do worse than Mike Tyson as your product spokesperson. Granted there was that whole sex crime conviction and he did rip a guy\u2019s ear off with his teeth and he did threaten to eat a guy\u2019s children. But still. Spokesmen have been known to do worse. I’m sure we all remember […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":18,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1545,1530],"class_list":["post-14419","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-beverage","tag-energy-drink"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":49916,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/02\/01\/spotted-starbucks-baya-energy-drink\/","url_meta":{"origin":14419,"position":0},"title":"SPOTTED: Starbucks BAYA Energy Drink","author":"Marvo","date":"February 1, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"A 12-ounce can contains 90 calories and 160 milligrams of caffeine, which is more caffeine than most 12-ounce energy drinks. The three flavors are Mango Guava, Raspberry Lime and Pineapple Passionfruit. (Spotted by Bob K at a Starbucks in a Giant Eagle.)","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/stbbayaspot.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/stbbayaspot.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/stbbayaspot.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/stbbayaspot.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/01\/stbbayaspot.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":53754,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2022\/11\/11\/spotted-soylent-gingerbread-ready-to-drink-meal\/","url_meta":{"origin":14419,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED: Soylent Gingerbread Ready-to-Drink Meal","author":"Marvo","date":"November 11, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"Yum? I mean, ho-ho-ho yum? (Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B.)","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/soylentgbreadytodrinkmeal.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/soylentgbreadytodrinkmeal.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/soylentgbreadytodrinkmeal.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/soylentgbreadytodrinkmeal.jpeg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/11\/soylentgbreadytodrinkmeal.jpeg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":29244,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/06\/08\/weekend-giveaway-giant-nerds-hot-and-cool-sour-patch-kids-a-ziggy-marley-cookbook-and-more\/","url_meta":{"origin":14419,"position":2},"title":"WEEKEND GIVEAWAY: Giant Nerds, Hot and Cool Sour Patch Kids, a Ziggy Marley Cookbook, and More","author":"Marvo","date":"June 8, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Update 6\/11\/2018: Here's the winner of the prize pack -- Mitch. Congratulations! Thanks to everyone who participated! So what's the deal with the Ziggy and Bob Marley stuff? 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A sugarfree Red Bull flavor that I wish wasn\u2019t sugarless. How is it? It smells wonderful. It has a delicious, sweet pear scent that makes me imagine I\u2019m in a giant pear hanging out with talking invertebrates. Oh, wait. My imagination is plagiarizing James\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Red-Bull-Pear-Edition-in-a-Fancy-Glass.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Red-Bull-Pear-Edition-in-a-Fancy-Glass.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Red-Bull-Pear-Edition-in-a-Fancy-Glass.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Red-Bull-Pear-Edition-in-a-Fancy-Glass.jpg?resize=700%2C400&ssl=1 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/03\/Red-Bull-Pear-Edition-in-a-Fancy-Glass.jpg?resize=1050%2C600&ssl=1 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":488,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2007\/06\/12\/news-you-say-clamato-i-say-oh-hell-no\/","url_meta":{"origin":14419,"position":4},"title":"NEWS: You Say Clamato, I Say Oh-Hell-No","author":"Marvo","date":"June 12, 2007","format":false,"excerpt":"I've never had a Clamato in my life, but I'm going to assume that the new Clamato Energia energy drink is possibly the worst energy drink idea EVER. 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