![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/hotpocketsbiscuits.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nHot Pockets.<\/p>\n
I can hear some of you silently cheering and some of you cringing. Those of you who are saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153meh,” I shake the back of my fist wildly in the air at you. But this isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t about how much I hate the word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153meh,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s about the new variation of Hot Pockets that was released upon us — the Hot Pockets Hearty Sized Biscuits. <\/p>\n
*gasp* <\/p>\n
Actually, it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a variation of a variation, truth be told. The \u00e2\u20ac\u0153new\u00e2\u20ac\u009d Hot Pocket is actually just the standard breakfast Hot Pocket recycled in a \u00e2\u20ac\u0153new\u00e2\u20ac\u009d crust — a biscuit crust.<\/p>\n
Now, let me be clear here. I have no experience when it comes to a true fresh homemade biscuits. The only things that come to mind when I think biscuits are the crappy kind that comes with a fast food chicken dinner (KFC and Popeye\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s) or the very misplaced cheesy biscuits at Red Lobster. <\/p>\n
(Writer’s Note: Speaking of Red Lobster, what the hell? Biscuits do NOT go with surf and turf, no matter how buttery their shrimps are.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Having said that, there was nothing remotely biscuit-y about these particular Hot Pockets. The taste and texture of the crust envelope was more akin to the standard Hot Pocket crust, although I will say there is a little biscuit-y-ness to it. The crust was slightly crispy and crunchy on some of the edges like so many of my Hot Pockets have turned out, but my impression upon biting into this was, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Where the hell\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s the biscuit? And why is it so dry?\u00e2\u20ac\u009d <\/p>\n
It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s painfully clear that none of the men and women involved in making this Hot Pocket have a trace of the South in their blood. Otherwise, their nanas would rise from the grave and spank them to death with a cast iron pan.<\/p>\n
Although, there is actually one way this Hot Pocket does live up to its name; just let it thaw. I know it doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t sound appetizing, but I did like some of my Hot Pockets this way. Ok, that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a lie. But it was the only way to get your Hot Pocket fix if your parents were being dictators on the subject of snacking. And some of them do respond well to the thawing process, but that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s a different story. The thawed version of this sandwich is much more like a biscuit, albeit a cold and dry one.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/hotpocketsbiscuit2.jpg\")
<\/center><\/p>\nThe filling is pretty much the same as you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d find in the regular version of this Hot Pocket. A sweet mild sausage that permeates throughout the whole filling, a cheese sausage that\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s far too creamy, and blocks of eggs that don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t do squat. The flavor is actually, come to think of it, much more akin to sausage and gravy. It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not a bad thing, but it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s not what I bought. At least this thing\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s big enough for a decent mouthful and it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s done in less than three minutes from package to the plate.<\/p>\n
I guess I only have one thing to say to this Hot Pocket. Meh. Now, if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll excuse me, I have to shake my fist at the mirror.<\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1 pocket – 290 calories, 11 grams of fat, 5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 680 milligrams of sodium, 36 grams of carbohydrates, 2 grams of dietary fiber, 5 grams of sugar, and 10 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Hot Pockets Sausage, Egg & Cheese Hearty Sized Biscuits
\nPrice:<\/b> $3.19
\nSize:<\/b> 2 pack
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Holiday Market
\nRating:<\/b> 5 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Fast to warm up. Filling tastes all right. Decent-sized. Red Lobster biscuit. Zombie Nana.
\nCons:<\/b> Dry and crunchy. Little biscuit-y-ness. doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t taste as advertised. The word “meh.” Yet another Hot Pockets product.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Hot Pockets. I can hear some of you silently cheering and some of you cringing. Those of you who are saying \u00e2\u20ac\u0153meh,” I shake the back of my fist wildly in the air at you. But this isn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t about how much I hate the word \u00e2\u20ac\u0153meh,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d it\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s about the new variation of Hot Pockets that […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1571,1689],"class_list":["post-1463","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-frozen-food","tag-hot-pockets"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":14824,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/05\/06\/review-limited-edition-spicy-beef-nacho-hot-pockets\/","url_meta":{"origin":1463,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Limited Edition Spicy Beef Nacho Hot Pockets","author":"Marvo","date":"May 6, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"As someone whose stomach has had the pleasure and pain of experiencing many different varieties of Hot Pockets, the new Limited Edition Spicy Beef Nacho Hot Pockets tasted like a meat and cheese cocoon that the fine folks over at Nestle had released before. After spending more time than anyone\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Limited Edition Spicy Beef Nacho Hot Pockets","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8270\/8712361732_2fc9061dba.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":69071,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2025\/04\/14\/hidden-valley-ranch-lovers-pepperoni-hot-pockets-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":1463,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Ranch Lovers Pepperoni Hot Pockets","author":"Marvo","date":"April 14, 2025","format":false,"excerpt":"Holy Hot Pockets! When did Hot Pockets get rid of the microwaveable crisping sleeve? What's going to protect my fingers from burning on the crust? What will help contain the oozing molten filling that might burn my fingers? What will I use to scrape up the filling that oozed onto\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/hphvrloverspep1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/hphvrloverspep1-600x600.jpeg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/04\/hphvrloverspep1-600x600.jpeg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":16880,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/05\/22\/review-hot-pockets-limited-edition-buffalo-style-chicken\/","url_meta":{"origin":1463,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Hot Pockets Limited Edition Buffalo Style Chicken","author":"Trevor","date":"May 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"There have been more than a few moments throughout my life when I thought I may be going crazy, and most of them revolve around one thing: Hot Pockets. I\u2019ve been eating the things since they were first introduced, and, while I enjoy them, I\u2019ve never found a flavor I\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hot Pockets Limited Edition Buffalo Style Chicken","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5517\/14241267302_566c9a6bf7.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":10089,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2011\/08\/31\/review-hot-pockets-limited-edition-four-cheese-garlic-pasta-bake\/","url_meta":{"origin":1463,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Hot Pockets Limited Edition Four Cheese Garlic Pasta Bake","author":"Stephanie","date":"August 31, 2011","format":false,"excerpt":"The longevity of Hot Pockets has hinged upon two things: 1) Their manufacturer's ability to successfully stuff as many different things into a tender, seasoned crust as possible; and 2) Speedy microwave zap-ability. If either of these things changed for the worse, the Hot Pockets franchise would be deader than\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hot Pockets Limited EditionFour Cheese Garlic Pasta Bake","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm7.static.flickr.com\/6193\/6098875651_4d472da428.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17750,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/11\/04\/spotted-on-shelves-hot-pockets-limited-edition-bbq-recipe-chicken-with-cornbread-crust-empanadas\/","url_meta":{"origin":1463,"position":4},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Hot Pockets Limited Edition BBQ Recipe Chicken with Cornbread Crust Empanadas","author":"Marvo","date":"November 4, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Maybe it's just me, but it's weird seeing corn in a Hot Pocket. Also, why is there corn in this Hot Pocket? (Spotted by Josh at Walmart.) If you\u2019re out shopping and see an interesting new or limited edition product on the shelf, snap a picture of it, and send\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Hot Pockets Limited Edition BBQ Recipe Chicken with Cornbread Crust Empanadas","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7461\/15058481613_74b5f64b11_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7461\/15058481613_74b5f64b11_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7461\/15058481613_74b5f64b11_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":18701,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/06\/26\/review-limited-edition-chicken-pot-pie-hot-pockets\/","url_meta":{"origin":1463,"position":5},"title":"REVIEW: Limited Edition Chicken Pot Pie Hot Pockets","author":"Matt","date":"June 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"When I was a kid, my mom chose not to feed us Hot Pockets. With tears in my eyes and hunger in my stomach, I spent many lunchtimes watching my classmates shove pepperoni-filled pastries into their pudgy little faces. But now I\u2019m an adult, and I\u2019ve sworn to eat as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Limited Edition Chicken Pot Pie Hot Pockets","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3697\/19167601281_f73442cb38_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3697\/19167601281_f73442cb38_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm4.staticflickr.com\/3697\/19167601281_f73442cb38_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1463","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1463"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1463\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1463"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1463"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1463"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}