![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/astronauticecream.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Once in a while there’s a special product that I just can’t write about in normal paragraphs because it’s something that I believe deserves more than just blocks of joined sentences that are separated by two punches of my keyboard’s space bar. <\/p>\n
Astronaut Ice Cream is worthy of the best word craftsmanship that my English degree and thesaurus can produce. I firmly believe that the only way I could pay homage to this product is through the gift of rhyme. <\/p>\n
I’m not talking about a sonnet, limerick, quatrain, allegory, or epigram. I’m talking about something a lot more contemporary. So right now I’m about to drop some mad, crazy skills on y’all that would make Kanye West not shake in his sunglasses that he seems to wear whether he’s outdoors or indoors. <\/p>\n
Awwww yeah. This one goes out to all the Space Cowboys. Giddy up!<\/p>\n
I got a dessert that can be enjoyed across the universe.
\nStore it in your cubicle, pants, spacecraft, or purse.
\nIt’s not perishable, so it doesn’t need any refrigeration.
\nGives me elation when I opened a pack of this creation.
\nIt’s hard to find and been a long time since I had one.
\nMight’ve got some if I lived near an aerospace museum.
\nFor years and years, too many to count, I’ve gone without.
\nNow that I found you again Astronaut Ice Cream, I have to shout.<\/p>\n
From Cape Canaveral to the International Space Station,
\ngiving astronaut bros and hos instant, sweet salvation.
\nAfter experiments in zero gravity or a spacewalk at night,
\nonly Astronaut Ice Cream can satisfy an astronaut’s appetite.<\/p>\n
Like Lucky Charms marshmallows, it’s freeze-dried hard.
\nFuck utilizing spoons or bowls, those you can disregard.
\nPick up a block and it feels quite fragile, airy and light.
\nTake a bite and you’ll experience a galactic delight.
\nComes with vanilla, chocolate and strawberry – the Neapolitan three.
\nIt melts in your mouth like the walls do when you’re on LSD.
\nAstronaut Ice Cream is so delicious that it is a must.
\nI bet US astronauts use it to make Cosmonauts envious.<\/p>\n
From the Space Shuttles to the all the Apollo missions,
\ngiving astronaut bros and hos instant, sweet salvation.
\nAfter experiments with a monkey or a long space flight,
\nonly Astronaut Ice Cream can satisfy an astronaut’s appetite.<\/i><\/p>\n
(Nutrition Facts – 1 slice – 120 calories, 4 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 25 milligrams of cholesterol, 50 milligrams of sodium, 15 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of dietary fiber, 12 grams of sugar, 2 grams of protein, 4% Vitamin A, 0% Vitamin C, 8% Calcium, and 0% Iron.)<\/small><\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Astronaut Ice Cream
\nPrice:<\/b> $2.50 (on sale)
\nSize:<\/b> 0.7 ounces
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Longs Drugs
\nRating:<\/b> 9 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> One of my favorite things to eat in the world. The feeling of it melting in my mouth. Chocolate tastes like actual chocolate ice cream. It’s what astronauts eat. Made in the USA. Kanye West wearing sunglasses outdoors.
\nCons:<\/b> Not as good as the real thing. Vanilla and strawberry don’t quite taste like their frozen versions. Small and pricey. Breaks easily. Contains HFCS. Might be hard to find. Kanye West wearing sunglasses indoors.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Once in a while there’s a special product that I just can’t write about in normal paragraphs because it’s something that I believe deserves more than just blocks of joined sentences that are separated by two punches of my keyboard’s space bar. 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There was also another time in my life that I wanted to participate in the Vagina Monologues and express my love for vagina, but that's for another review. 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