{"id":15390,"date":"2013-09-23T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2013-09-23T10:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=15390"},"modified":"2023-08-25T20:19:50","modified_gmt":"2023-08-26T06:19:50","slug":"review-dunkin-donuts-angus-steak-big-n-toasted-sandwich","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/09\/23\/review-dunkin-donuts-angus-steak-big-n-toasted-sandwich\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Angus Steak Big N\u2019 Toasted Sandwich"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dunkin\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

Every few months or so, some poor “high-end” food product makes the jump from pretentious to a diluted all-audience nature. It gets filtered through a wood chipper and then a toilet so in the end it no longer resembles the actual item. All this for the sake of mass consumption. Therefore, not only does it lose its pompous aura (which is fine by me), but its unique characteristics as well (which is not okay at all).<\/p>\n

Remember Wendy\u2019s bragging about its fries being sprinkled with sea salt<\/a>? Give me a break if you\u2019re expecting it to be the actual harvested finishing salts chefs preen about.<\/p>\n

Kobe beef, with its already dubious nature in what can actually be called Kobe, is another victim. Kobe hot dogs? Kobe hamburgers? My eyes rolled so much that you would swear I had two lazy eyes or was the inspiration for the guy that graces each Mad Libs cover<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Another example is Kobe beef’s less-complicated, but just as maligned, American cousin, the Angus. This poor bastard is being passed around faster than a cotton towel at an orgy. I\u2019m guessing the “certification” for Angus beef is low enough that even Stephen Hawking can jump over it. Okay, that\u2019s a tasteless cheap shot that’s just as tasteless as the Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Angus Steak Big N\u2019 Toasted.<\/p>\n

I commend Dunkin\u2019 Donuts for attempting to separate itself from the pack by using Texas Toast for its sandwiches. The thick bread borders on overindulgence, but is perfect for capturing runny eggs and butter. Some people prefer wheat or pumpernickel, I lust after Texas Toast.<\/p>\n

I mean c\u2019mon!!! It\u2019s Texas Toast, steak, eggs and cheese. You know what\u2019s better than sliced bread? Sliced bread with beef, cheese and egg in between it. So what can go wrong? Apparently, if you make a living primarily selling donuts, then a hell of a lot.<\/p>\n

Look, I\u2019m a big fan of their Texas Toast Grilled Cheese. Its buttery and flaky toast and melted cheese makes me act like those monkeys in the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey<\/i>.<\/p>\n

\"Dunkin\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

But stupid me because I was expecting the same from this new sandwich. I opened it immediately to look at this “Angus” steak and it had the natural color of a cadaver stuffed under a house because he didn\u2019t pay his bets on time. It was charmingly grayish and resembled an unsauced Salisbury meatloaf concoction served at all the finest detention centers.<\/p>\n

The steak also had an overwhelming artificial smokey taste. The texture itself was flaccid and rubbery, two things I don’t want my meat to feel like. The worst part? The beef was chewy. Not Mentos candy-chewy, but chewy like the bits resting on the bottom of a beef jerky pouch. <\/p>\n

\"Dunkin\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

\"Dunkin\u2019<\/a><\/p>\n

The toast had the dampness of a basement, but it was sufficiently buttered. The two eggs only helped in taking your hopes, smashing them, and then pissing on the remains. The eggs were laughably fake looking, like a Fisher Price plastic fried egg toy. Another thing, it had an unnatural powdery texture and lacked any of the richness an egg normally has. It was also mealy and it disintegrated in my mouth into a sandy mush.<\/p>\n

Most things can be saved by melted cheese since it provides an extra boost of flavor and texture, which was sorely missing in this sandwich. Unfortunately, there was so little cheese, all I could taste was fake smoke and a bland egg that broke apart into grainy beads in my mouth. It was like a bad French kiss between bread.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve eaten the McDonald\u2019s Angus burgers, so I know fast food “Angus” can be achieved with some success. But it\u2019s as if Dunkin\u2019 Donuts is the fat kid in gym class looking at the rope their meathead teacher is telling them to climb. <\/p>\n

Finally, what really kicked me in the balls was the price — $4.29. I haven\u2019t felt this ripped off since I was conned into buying Viagra from Mexico.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts \u2013 620 calories, 34 grams of fat, 14 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 180 milligrams of cholesterol, 1290 milligrams of sodium, 43 grams of carbohydrates, 1 gram of dietary fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 34 grams of protein)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Angus Steak Big N\u2019 Toasted Sandwich
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $4.29
\nSize:<\/b> N\/A
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Dunkin’ Donuts
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Texas Toast. Having the option to buy a donut instead. 2001: A Space Odyssey<\/i>. Sufficiently buttered toast. Soft drinks from Mexico.
\nCons:<\/b> Texas Toast. Artificial smoke flavor. Rubbery grey beef. 2010: The Year We Make Contact<\/i>. The powdery egg that looks fake. Small amount of cheese. Pharmaceuticals from Mexico. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Every few months or so, some poor “high-end” food product makes the jump from pretentious to a diluted all-audience nature. It gets filtered through a wood chipper and then a toilet so in the end it no longer resembles the actual item. All this for the sake of mass consumption. Therefore, not only does it […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1704,1539,2210,1477],"class_list":["post-15390","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-dunkin","tag-dunkin-donuts","tag-dunkin-donuts-2","tag-fast-food"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18347,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/04\/15\/review-dunkin-donuts-oreo-cheesecake-square-donut\/","url_meta":{"origin":15390,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Oreo Cheesecake Square Donut","author":"Matt","date":"April 15, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"When it comes to cheese and desserts, I have mixed feelings. Cheese and pie? No thanks. The last time I tried a slice of apple pie topped with cheddar cheese, I began gagging like my neighbor\u2019s cat when it swallowed a whole hot dog. 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Along with the guacamole, the new sandwich\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dunkin Donuts Bacon Guacamole Flatbread Sandwich","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Dunkin-Donuts-Bacon-Guacamole-Flatbread-Sandwich.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Dunkin-Donuts-Bacon-Guacamole-Flatbread-Sandwich.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/04\/Dunkin-Donuts-Bacon-Guacamole-Flatbread-Sandwich.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":14711,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/04\/08\/review-dunkin-donuts-old-fashioned-butter-pecan-iced-coffee\/","url_meta":{"origin":15390,"position":2},"title":"REVIEW: Dunkin’ Donuts Old Fashioned Butter Pecan Iced Coffee","author":"Adam","date":"April 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Maybe it\u2019s just me, but I\u2019ve always struggled with walking into Dunkin' Donuts. 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Say what you want about a system of time based scientifically on the position of the Earth as it travels around the Sun, but I can tell when it\u2019s spring when the heart-shaped donuts get replaced by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Jamocha Almond Fudge Iced Coffee","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5080\/14069628542_89c9f31fb4.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":22132,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/05\/02\/fast-food-news-dunkin-donuts-frozen-dunkin-coffee\/","url_meta":{"origin":15390,"position":4},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Dunkin’ Donuts Frozen Dunkin’ Coffee","author":"Marvo","date":"May 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Goodbye, Dunkin' Coffee Coolatta! Hello, Frozen Dunkin' Coffee! 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