{"id":155,"date":"2005-02-28T00:00:17","date_gmt":"2005-02-28T10:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/?p=155"},"modified":"2023-08-28T16:11:10","modified_gmt":"2023-08-29T02:11:10","slug":"frosted-mini-wheats-vanilla-creme","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/02\/28\/frosted-mini-wheats-vanilla-creme\/","title":{"rendered":"Frosted Mini-Wheats Vanilla Creme"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"float:right;padding-left:10px;border:none;\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/vanillaminiwheats.jpg\" alt=\"Frosted Mini-Wheats Vanilla Creme\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Aaah, the smell of vanilla from this box of Frosted Mini-Wheats Vanilla Creme, it brought back such wonderful memories.<\/p>\n<p><i>The pleasant memory of my mother baking chocolate chip cookies on a warm, breezy Spring day.  The breeze would circulate the delicious aroma of the baking cookies throughout the house.  That smell would guide me from my bedroom to the kitchen, where I waited, armed with a chilled glass of milk, to devour the freshly-baked goods.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Now I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not a fan of regular Frosted Mini-Wheats because the \u00e2\u20ac\u0153wheats\u00e2\u20ac\u009d part of the name makes it sound too healthy.  I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not too fond of many healthy cereals, because they just don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t taste very good.<\/p>\n<p>Although with this cereal, the vanilla aroma made me think it might turn out pretty good.  I quickly poured myself a bowl and added some skim milk.  I took another whiff of the cereal and it reminded me of another memory.<\/p>\n<p><i>It reminded me of a time when I made sweet, sweet love with a lover in a bath surrounded by dozens of vanilla-scented candles.  The illumination from the candles reflected off of the water and our wet skin.  My lover and I caressed each other, making our hearts beat as one.  <\/p>\n<p>We laughed as our lovemaking caused violent waves in the bath, splashing several of the candles and extinguishing them.  Although the heat from those candles were no longer there, my lover and I did not notice, for we made our own heat.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Now I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if that flashback took too long, but when I took that first bite of the cereal all my hopes and dreams for it quickly went out the door, like the mailman when he gets caught sleeping with someone else\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s wife.<\/p>\n<p>First off, the cereal was damn soggy.  It\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s like each Frosted Mini-Wheat was a milk sponge.  Also, the wonderful vanilla aroma didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t become a wonderful vanilla taste.  If it weren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t for the frosting, this cereal wouldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have a redeeming quality.<\/p>\n<p>Also, to add injury to insult, my jaw began to get tired from chewing on these \u00e2\u20ac\u0153milk sponges.\u00e2\u20ac\u009d<\/p>\n<p>After I finished the bowl, I opened the box and pulled out a piece of cereal.  I looked at it and wondered why something that smells so good, doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t taste so good.  I took another whiff of the vanilla aroma and I was again reminded of another memory.<\/p>\n<p><i>This memory involved a lover lying face down on her bed, which was covered with petals of red roses.  I poured warm vanilla-scented oil on her naked back and rubbed it all over, which, along with the moonlight coming in from the window, created an elegant shine.  <\/p>\n<p>My hands firmly massaged her tense muscles, attempting to massage her troubles away.  She moaned erotically as I pushed my thumbs up her spine.  My soft lips followed my thumbs with light kisses on her back, which caused her to moan much louder.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>After that flashback, I popped the cereal in my mouth.  When I started chewing, I instantly realized what was wrong with the Frosted Mini-Wheats Vanilla Cream.  Milk does not do the Frosted Mini-Wheats Vanilla Creme good.  Without the milk, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re damn good.  <\/p>\n<p>I think I just found a new way of getting some fiber in my diet.<\/p>\n<p>Before closing the box, I took one last whiff of the cereal and another memory popped into my head.<\/p>\n<p><i>This time it reminded me of the intoxicating vanilla perfume worn by a stunning woman named Kristi, who was an expert dancer.  Her flexibility and strength were her greatest assets as she danced around a pole.  <\/p>\n<p>I told my friend, who brought me there, that Kristi smelled astounding.  He replied, \u00e2\u20ac\u0153Yeah, I love the Scent of a Stripper,\u00e2\u20ac\u009d as he put a five dollar bill in the crotch of Kristi\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s thong.<\/i><\/p>\n<p>Oh wait, now that I think about it, this memory was actually a combination of a dream and an episode of HBO\u00e2\u20ac\u2122s G-String Divas.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<p><b>Item:<\/b>  Frosted Mini-Wheats Vanilla Creme<br \/>\n<b>Purchase Price:<\/b>  $3.00 (on sale)<br \/>\n<b>Rating:<\/b>  4 out of 5<br \/>\n<b>Pros:<\/b>  Tastes great when eaten straight out of box.  Excellent source of fiber.  Frosting.  Wonderful memories with vanilla.<br \/>\n<b>Cons:<\/b>  Gets soggy quick.  Doesn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t taste good when milk is added.  Chewing for a long period of time may make your jaw hurt.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Aaah, the smell of vanilla from this box of Frosted Mini-Wheats Vanilla Creme, it brought back such wonderful memories. The pleasant memory of my mother baking chocolate chip cookies on a warm, breezy Spring day. The breeze would circulate the delicious aroma of the baking cookies throughout the house. That smell would guide me from [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1472,1681,1473],"class_list":["post-155","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-cereal","tag-frosted-mini-wheats","tag-kelloggs"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":29548,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/06\/21\/quick-review-kelloggs-frosted-mini-wheats-vanilla-latte-cereal\/","url_meta":{"origin":155,"position":0},"title":"QUICK REVIEW: Kellogg&#8217;s Frosted Mini Wheats Vanilla Latte Cereal","author":"Meghan","date":"June 21, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"What is it? 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It's a cinnamon roll-flavored version of Kellogg's Frosted Mini Wheats, which I've always thought looks like what children would use, frosting side down, in their dioramas to depict hay bales. 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Hey folks with low hemoglobin counts, just like all Frosted Mini Wheats, it's an awesome source of iron. 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