{"id":15585,"date":"2013-10-25T12:52:29","date_gmt":"2013-10-25T22:52:29","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=15585"},"modified":"2020-12-24T11:30:41","modified_gmt":"2020-12-24T21:30:41","slug":"review-trader-joes-speculoos-cookie-and-cocoa-swirl-spread","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/10\/25\/review-trader-joes-speculoos-cookie-and-cocoa-swirl-spread\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie and Cocoa Swirl Spread"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Trader<\/a><\/p>\n

Do you remember your first time?<\/p>\n

Were there scented candles? Sensual music in the background?<\/p>\n

I remember my first time. It took place right outside of Central Park. I didn\u2019t mind the public watching. Children stared. There was whipped cream. Things got sticky. Real sticky.<\/p>\n

Yup, I remember my first time trying speculoos spread like it was just yesterday. Like many others, my first taste of speculoos spread came atop a waffle from a Wafels & Dinges truck in New York. That sweet, slightly spiced cookie butter knocked my tastebuds\u2019 socks off. (And my tastebuds don\u2019t even wear socks.)<\/p>\n

Naturally, when I found out that Trader Joe\u2019s had combined their speculoos spread with a cocoa swirl, I jumped at the opportunity to try it. Chocolate is the only thing that could ever improve speculoos, right?<\/p>\n

Behold: Trader Joe\u2019s Speculoos Cookie and Cocoa Swirl.<\/p>\n

\"Trader<\/a><\/p>\n

Removing the lid from the glass jar released the heavenly scent of speculoos, an aroma reminiscent of raw sugar cookie dough mixed with cinnamon. Strangely, my proboscis was unable to detect any trace of chocolate.<\/p>\n

The light brown speculoos base is fabulous: sweet with a light cinnamon spice, like a spreadable mixture of snickerdoodles and graham crackers. Tiny bits of cookie crumbs are incorporated into the speculoos, providing a very slight crunch. For those who have yet to experience the joys of speculoos, be warned: it is extremely addictive.<\/p>\n

But the chocolate? Oh boy. The chocolate changes things for the worse.<\/p>\n

The dark brown cocoa swirl is saccharine and excessively rich, almost like a chocolate syrup in solid form. Its chocolate flavor seems artificial, two-dimensional, and ultimately unappealing. There\u2019s no way I would ever eat the chocolate portion of this spread alone.<\/p>\n

Because it\u2019s not as thick as peanut butter or Nutella, the cookie butter spreads easily onto bread, waffles, and anything else you can imagine putting speculoos on. (Keep it PG, kids.)<\/p>\n

\"Trader<\/a><\/p>\n

When the speculoos and chocolate portions of the spread are combined, the result is one dark brown mass, more similar in appearance to Nutella than a cookie butter. The speculoos helps to calm the overpowering chocolate flavor of the cocoa swirl. However, the chocolate equally mutes the speculoos, converting the spread in its entirety into what tastes like a cheap, knockoff speculoos spread. Essentially, the addition of the cocoa swirl smothers the speculoos base\u2019s wow-factor, downgrading a spectacular cookie butter to mere mediocrity.<\/p>\n

What happened, Trader Joe? There was so much potential here. You took the easy way out by cutting corners and using cheap chocolate, didn\u2019t you? For shame!<\/p>\n

I should have known better than to trust a cookie butter sold by such an elusive man. I\u2019ve been to his store countless times, but I still haven\u2019t been able to find this Trader Joe guy. He\u2019s harder to locate than Carmen Sandiego, Waldo, and the corpse of Jimmy Hoffa all combined.<\/p>\n

Trader Joe, I will never again purchase your Speculoos Cookie and Cocoa Swirl spread. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 1 Tbsp. (15 grams) – 90 calories, 50 calories from fat, 6 grams of total fat, 1.5 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 0 milligrams of cholesterol, 20 milligrams of sodium, 8 grams of total carbohydrates, less than 1 gram of dietary fiber, 6 grams of sugars, and less than 1 gram of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Other Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie and Cocoa Swirl Spread reviews:<\/b>
\nWhat’s Good at Trader Joe’s<\/a><\/p>\n

Purchased Price:<\/b> $3.99
\nSize:<\/b> 14.1 oz.
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Trader Joe’s
\nRating:<\/b> 5 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> First times. Speculoos base is fabulous. Cookie crumbs mixed throughout.
\nCons:<\/b> Chocolate seems artificial. Combination makes spread seem mediocre. The corpse of Jimmy Hoffa.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Do you remember your first time? Were there scented candles? Sensual music in the background? I remember my first time. It took place right outside of Central Park. I didn\u2019t mind the public watching. Children stared. There was whipped cream. Things got sticky. Real sticky. Yup, I remember my first time trying speculoos spread like […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":23,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"jetpack_seo_schema_type":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[72],"class_list":["post-15585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-trader-joes"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":18340,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2015\/04\/14\/review-trader-joes-speculoos-cookie-butter-cheesecake-bites\/","url_meta":{"origin":15585,"position":0},"title":"REVIEW: Trader Joe’s Speculoos Cookie Butter Cheesecake Bites","author":"Margaret","date":"April 14, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"What do we want this summer? We want to accomplish our goals. To clean out our garages. To power wash the driveway. To fulfill that suppressed dream of joining Cirque du Soleil as a zebra. We want to eat cold stuff. By the bucket-full. Ice cream works, but we want\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Trader Joe's Speculoos Cookie Butter Cheesecake Bites","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7678\/16955432939_5c6612aec6_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":17710,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/10\/09\/spotted-on-shelves-trader-joes-dark-chocolate-speculoos-cookie-butter-cups\/","url_meta":{"origin":15585,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED ON SHELVES: Trader Joe’s Dark Chocolate Speculoos Cookie Butter Cups","author":"Marvo","date":"October 9, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"You got your dark chocolate in my speculoos cookie butter! You got your speculoos cookie butter on my dark chocolate! Two great tastes that taste great together? (Spotted by Margaret at Trader Joe's.) 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Upon investigating, I find nothing at the window. I am convinced it is a) a very stupid pigeon, b) the ghost of Edgar Allen Poe, or c) a telepathic message from Professor X that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Trader Joe\u2019s Dark Chocolate Speculoos Cookie Butter Cups","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7569\/15775378581_e646fb157c_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7569\/15775378581_e646fb157c_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm8.staticflickr.com\/7569\/15775378581_e646fb157c_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17875,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/12\/18\/review-trader-joes-speculoos-cookie-butter-cheesecake\/","url_meta":{"origin":15585,"position":3},"title":"REVIEW: Trader Joe\u2019s Speculoos Cookie Butter Cheesecake","author":"Kevin","date":"December 18, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The following are uncovered hacked e-mails from Trader Joe\u2019s headquarters. 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Racker\u201d> wrote: Joe, Had a chance to check out the samples yet?\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Trader Joe\u2019s Speculoos Cookie Butter Cheesecake","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8670\/15862972637_9af2168cae_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8670\/15862972637_9af2168cae_z.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm9.staticflickr.com\/8670\/15862972637_9af2168cae_z.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":17589,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/09\/02\/review-trader-joes-speculoos-cookie-butter-ice-cream\/","url_meta":{"origin":15585,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Trader Joe\u2019s Speculoos Cookie Butter Ice Cream","author":"Margaret","date":"September 2, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"I injured myself yesterday. 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