{"id":16266,"date":"2014-02-10T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-02-10T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=16266"},"modified":"2023-08-25T21:22:20","modified_gmt":"2023-08-26T07:22:20","slug":"review-starbucks-via-latte-vanilla-latte","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/02\/10\/review-starbucks-via-latte-vanilla-latte\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Starbucks Via Latte Vanilla Latte"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Starbucks<\/a><\/p>\n

I have personally ordered maybe four different things at a Starbucks in my lifetime. This is not because I never go to Starbucks, but because I find myself with a crippling stammer and irrational fear every time I approach the register. <\/p>\n

My method was usually to ask a friend to order for me, and then order whatever they gave me for the next three years if it was good. I am consistently tempted to ask for a mocha-chocalata-yaya and see what comes out. Forget the \u201csecret menu\u201d guides all over the Internet. I need a manual for navigating the printed one.<\/p>\n

The problem is, I can\u2019t really bring myself to like black coffee. I love the smell. I love the energy. I love the idea of permanently staining my teeth in rebellion against my body at a young age. But every time I have a cup I cringe a little and leave most of it sitting there. And, being an ignorant novice coffee drinker, I don\u2019t know how to make anything but black coffee. I\u2019m not sophisticated enough to like the coffee I can make at home, but I\u2019m too afraid to learn how to order anything I might actually like.<\/p>\n

I dreamed that these Starbucks Via Lattes would fill this void. I could finally learn to drink a morning coffee like a real adult without having to embarrass myself in front of a barista. The idea of not having to put on pants to get said morning coffee was equally appealing.<\/p>\n

I purchased an individual trial pack at Starbucks for a dollar, choosing to try the vanilla over the mocha. I was first shocked by the size of these. They are not your normal instant coffee packet, but probably four times larger.<\/p>\n

\"Starbucks<\/a><\/p>\n

The instructions are pretty minimal, but include a little infographic that tells you what to do. It seemed pretty straight forward, and I do have a high school diploma, so I assumed I had it under control. I made a cup of hot water with a Keurig machine, dumped the packet in, and stirred. It was not until I finished making it that I realized I was not supposed to pour the powder into the boiling water. So maybe words would\u2019ve been helpful.<\/p>\n

\"Starbucks<\/a><\/p>\n

I was then surprised by the color. There did not appear to be any coffee granules at all in this pouch. Instead, there was an endless stream of a powdery white substance. Although many do refer to coffee as their crack, so maybe this makes some sense.<\/p>\n

\"Starbucks<\/a><\/p>\n

This drink was really sweet. And not in the good way of \u201chot chocolate sweet\u201d or \u201cvanilla milkshake sweet.\u201d It was like a cup of hot, watery milk with six packets of sugar. I was even hoping some more coffee taste would come through, but it was nonexistent. Since the ingredients list both dairy powder and sugar before coffee, I probably should have expected this. But if even I am wishing for some stronger coffee flavor, you know you\u2019ve taken it too far.<\/p>\n

I could not finish this. It was intolerably sweet, and this is coming from the girl who will treat frosting as a cookie dip and add extra Oreos to cookies and cream ice cream. Maybe if iced and blended this could make a decent at home Frappuccino? But that seems like far too much work for something coming from an instant package.<\/p>\n

This did not solve my coffee dilemmas. My only hope at this point is that Starbucks starts up a delivery service with a tracker like Domino\u2019s so I can order my coffee online without human interaction and know when to put my pants on before it arrives. Until then, you will find me drinking one of my four safe things at Starbucks, dreaming of the day I can join the elite ranks of the people who know how to order drinks with names that take a full minute to say.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 1 packet – 130 calories, 3.5 grams of fat, 2 grams of saturated fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 10 milligrams of cholesterol, 65 milligrams of sodium, 21 grams of carbohydrates, 0 grams of fiber, 19 grams of sugar, and 4 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Starbucks Via Latte Vanilla Latte
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $1.00
\nSize:<\/b> 1 packet
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Starbucks
\nRating:<\/b> 3 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> At home convenience. Simple assembly. Generous serving. Not any more sugar than most Starbucks drinks. Confusing baristas with Moulin Rouge references. Good movie stunt double for cocaine. Potential for fancier at home drinks. No pants, still service.
\nCons:<\/b> Sickly sweet. Impossible to drink whole cup. Minimal coffee taste. All powdered milk and sugar. Not being able to read picture instructions as an adult. Lack of coffee aroma. Domino\u2019s Pizza Tracker not expanding to other businesses.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I have personally ordered maybe four different things at a Starbucks in my lifetime. This is not because I never go to Starbucks, but because I find myself with a crippling stammer and irrational fear every time I approach the register. My method was usually to ask a friend to order for me, and then […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1540,1542],"class_list":["post-16266","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-coffee","tag-starbucks"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":21091,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2017\/01\/09\/fast-food-news-starbucks-cascara-latte\/","url_meta":{"origin":16266,"position":0},"title":"FAST FOOD NEWS: Starbucks Cascara Latte","author":"Marvo","date":"January 9, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Starbucks' first new product of the year is the Cascara Latte. Not familiar with cascara? It's the outer skin and pulp of coffee cherries, which grow on coffee trees once a year. Starbucks is using the fruit to give the latte a subtle, lightly sweet flavor. The new beverage combines\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Fast Food News"","block_context":{"text":"Fast Food News","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/fast-food-news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Cascara Latte","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Cascara_Latte.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Cascara_Latte.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/01\/Cascara_Latte.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":15056,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2013\/07\/08\/review-starbucks-discoveries-caffe-mocha-caramel-macchiato-vanilla-latte\/","url_meta":{"origin":16266,"position":1},"title":"REVIEW: Starbucks Discoveries (Caffe Mocha, Caramel Macchiato & Vanilla Latte)","author":"Marvo","date":"July 8, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"I don't go to Starbucks very often. When I do, it's usually to buy a gift card, use their restroom, or jump on their free WiFi network and be a complete douchebag by trying to slow down everyones' bandwidth. But when it comes to coffee, Starbucks has given me a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Starbucks Discoveries","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm6.staticflickr.com\/5441\/9236671168_4987f6237c.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":32408,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2018\/10\/23\/starbucks-smoked-butterscotch-latte-review\/","url_meta":{"origin":16266,"position":2},"title":"QUICK REVIEW: Starbucks Limited Edition Smoked Butterscotch Latte","author":"Meghan","date":"October 23, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"What is the Starbucks Limited Edition Smoked Butterscotch Latte? As a grab-and-go option for people too busy to stop by a brick-and-motor Starbucks, this coffee-house inspired drink features, \u201csmoky sweet notes of kettle-cooked butterscotch mingled with Starbucks espresso and creamy milk.\" How is it? Even though a lot of these\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Starbucks-Limited-Edition-Smoked-Butterscotch-Lattea.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Starbucks-Limited-Edition-Smoked-Butterscotch-Lattea.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/Starbucks-Limited-Edition-Smoked-Butterscotch-Lattea.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":326,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2006\/02\/13\/wolfgang-puck-rich-mocha-latte\/","url_meta":{"origin":16266,"position":3},"title":"Wolfgang Puck Rich Mocha Latte","author":"Marvo","date":"February 13, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"Sleepy, Marvo? A grande espresso will perk you right up. You don't want to be sleepy at work. You'll be less efficient, which may cause you to get fired, and you'll end up selling crack to little kids, selling your body to old female Japanese tourists, or working at Wal-Mart\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":16165,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/01\/22\/review-starbucks-caramel-flan-latte\/","url_meta":{"origin":16266,"position":4},"title":"REVIEW: Starbucks Caramel Flan Latte","author":"Matt","date":"January 22, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Of all the jiggly desserts I\u2019ve experienced, flan has to be my favorite. For those readers who have never had the pleasure of enjoying flan, it\u2019s a bit like Jello\u2019s fancier, wealthy cousin. While Jello\u2019s at a frat party knockin\u2019 back J\u00e4gerbombs, flan\u2019s sipping on a glass of Dom P\u00e9rignon\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Reviews"","block_context":{"text":"Reviews","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/reviews\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Starbucks Caramel Flan Latte","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/farm3.staticflickr.com\/2890\/12078108323_cd1efdb36c.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":13656,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2012\/10\/09\/news-starbucks-gives-us-another-way-to-get-their-pumpkin-spice-latte-into-our-bodies-with-pumpkin-spice-latte-ice-cream\/","url_meta":{"origin":16266,"position":5},"title":"NEWS: Starbucks Gives Us Another Way To Get Their Pumpkin Spice Latte Into Our Bodies With Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream","author":"Marvo","date":"October 9, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Lattes are yummy. I think millions of people would nod their heads in agreement with that statement above. So it's kind of puzzling that Starbucks' new Pumpkin Spice Latte Ice Cream, which combines coffee and pumpkin spice ice creams, didn't come out sooner. The Unilever-made Starbucks ice\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Coming Soon"","block_context":{"text":"Coming Soon","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/coming-soon\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"amp_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16266","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/26"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16266"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16266\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16266"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16266"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16266"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}