{"id":16508,"date":"2014-03-13T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2014-03-13T17:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/?p=16508"},"modified":"2023-08-30T15:21:44","modified_gmt":"2023-08-31T01:21:44","slug":"review-dunkin-donuts-eggs-benedict-breakfast-sandwich","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/03\/13\/review-dunkin-donuts-eggs-benedict-breakfast-sandwich\/","title":{"rendered":"REVIEW: Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Eggs Benedict Breakfast Sandwich"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Dunkin<\/a><\/p>\n

11:32 a.m.<\/b><\/p>\n

The Weinstein Company<\/b><\/p>\n

Pitch meeting<\/b><\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> Let\u2019s hear it.<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Okay, so the Chronologizer draws historically evil people from the universe and gives them a chance for redemption. They are put on a time-traveling super team with state-of-the-art technology and zoom around righting the wrongs that are being perpetuated by the destructive Future Lord. The fabric of time-space is on the line. And here\u2019s the kicker: They\u2019re called the Benedicts. And they\u2019re all named Benedict.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s Benedict Arnold, revolutionary war leader and defector\u2014a hand wringing traitor. His two-faced attempt to surrender as a general revealed him to be a sniveling backstabber. Then there\u2019s Pope Benedict XVI. A Hitler Youth as a child, Benedict later in life became the leader of a Catholic Church that attempted to whitewash evidence of rampant pedophilia. And Benedict Cumberbatch.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> Okay, this one\u2026<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Just look into his eyes.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> But\u2026<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Just look into his eyes. Everyone sees it. He\u2019s Khan! He\u2019s Smaug! This guy is some reptile half-breed for sure. He\u2019s gonna play villains for the next twenty years of his career. He\u2019s evil. Just look into his eyes.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> And what is this over here?<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> This, my dear man, is the Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Eggs Benedict Breakfast Sandwich. I had one the other day.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> It\u2019s evil?<\/p>\n

\"Dunkin<\/a><\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Let me finish. It looks innocuous, like a regular breakfast sandwich that you\u2019d get at McDonald\u2019s or Burger King or, hell, Dunkin\u2019 Donuts. But at first bite, the English muffin is kinda tough and dry, not soft and chewy like a McMuffin. <\/p>\n

The texture wouldn\u2019t be a complete deal breaker, but they put so much \u201chollandaise flavored spread\u201d (that\u2019s what they call it, since it\u2019s not real hollandaise) on the sandwich it\u2019s like squeezing two pieces of plywood together with cookie dough in the middle. It gets all over the place. The amount of sauce they slop on is like Dunkin\u2019 Donuts is passively angry with us. It\u2019s not even a great sauce. The texture is a little like a cross between old mayonnaise and Elmer\u2019s glue. It\u2019s got a creamy taste with a lemony finish (and contains zero eggs), and tries to emulate a real hollandaise with a laboratory mix of butter and cheese. Instead of coming off as zesty, though, the goopy sauce tastes sour. <\/p>\n

The actual eggs in the sandwich are decent, with a nice separation of orange-y egg yolk and egg white that makes me think it\u2019s not completely processed. The black forest ham is lost in the shuffle\u2014the sauce is too strong and it overpowers the sandwich. It all ends up tasting like what would happen if a chef described Eggs Benedict to an alien and then it tried to make it once. It\u2019s not spit-out-of-mouth disgusting. It\u2019s more like an I-wouldn\u2019t-buy-this-again snorefest.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> A so-so Eggs Benedict.<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Yeah, that\u2019s about right.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> How is that evil?<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Okay. If mediocrity is the mother of boredom, and boredom is the mother of evil, then\u2026boom. That\u2019s a Kierkegaard<\/a> quote, I think. You don\u2019t want to argue with that guy.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> Let me get this straight. Benedict Arnold, Pope Benedict XVI, Benedict Cumberbatch, and a Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Eggs Benedict Sandwich travel through time to save the universe and redeem themselves in the process.<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Yeah. Arnold is like the munitions guy, the Pope is the loose cannon, Cumberbatch is the disguise guy and the sandwich is the muscle. Oh, and they are assembled by Terry Benedict, Andy Garcia\u2019s fictional casino mogul from Ocean\u2019s 11<\/i>. Terry is like their Bosley.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> Do you have anyone currently tied to this project?<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> Yeah, we have interest from Clooney to play the Pope, and the sad dude from The Office who was in love with Erin to play Benedict Cumberbatch. We were thinking we could go a different direction and get Idris Elba<\/a> to play Arnold. We\u2019re in talks.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> Can you get an Egg McMuffin to play the Dunkin\u2019 Donuts sandwich?<\/p>\n

Kevin:<\/b> It would take a few hours in the prosthetics chair every morning, but I think we can do that.<\/p>\n

Harvey:<\/b> All right, then. Congratulations. I think we\u2019re eyeing a 2016 release. Let\u2019s make a movie.<\/p>\n

(Nutrition Facts – 300 calories, 80 calories from fat, 9 grams of fat, 0 grams of trans fat, 90 grams of cholesterol, 790 milligrams of sodium, 40 grams of carbohydrates, 7 grams of fiber, 6 grams of sugar, and 15 grams of protein.)<\/small><\/p>\n

Item:<\/b> Dunkin\u2019 Donuts Eggs Benedict Breakfast Sandwich
\nPurchased Price:<\/b> $3.99
\nSize:<\/b> N\/A
\nPurchased at:<\/b> Dunkin\u2019 Donuts
\nRating:<\/b> 4 out of 10
\nPros:<\/b> Not outwardly disgusting. Eggs possess a nice texture.
\nCons:<\/b> Hollandaise flavored spread all over your lap, sour-y and not fresh tasting. A one-note sandwich\u2014it just tastes like sauce. English muffin is a bit tough.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

11:32 a.m. The Weinstein Company Pitch meeting Harvey: Let\u2019s hear it. Kevin: Okay, so the Chronologizer draws historically evil people from the universe and gives them a chance for redemption. They are put on a time-traveling super team with state-of-the-art technology and zoom around righting the wrongs that are being perpetuated by the destructive Future […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":27,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[1704,1539,1477],"class_list":["post-16508","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-dunkin","tag-dunkin-donuts","tag-fast-food"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":16523,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2014\/03\/17\/announcement-the-nosh-shows-25th-episode\/","url_meta":{"origin":16508,"position":0},"title":"ANNOUNCEMENT: The Nosh Show’s 25th Episode","author":"Marvo","date":"March 17, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Episode Title: Melted Grimace In this episode, we argue about Bacon Pringles, Wheat Thins Popped, and Dunkin' Donuts' Eggs Benedict Sandwich. 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