![\"Borden](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/images\/kidbuilder.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
(Editor’s Note: The Squeeze Between the Cheese ended up in a draw, so I’ve decided to review BOTH products. So today I’ll be reviewing the Borden Kid Builder Cheese and later this week I’ll be reviewing the Campbell’s Carb Request soup. Enjoy.)<\/i><\/p>\n
I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know exactly how these Borden Kid Builder American Cheese Singles are able to build kids, but I have three theories.<\/p>\n
(1) Since each slice of Borden Kid Builder cheese has calcium and six vitamins and minerals (Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Vitamin B6, and Zinc ) they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re able to give your already born kids what they need to become healthy. <\/p>\n
It helps them grow (or build) into video-game playing, cell-phone owning, MTV-watching spoiled little brats that you want to smack a few times, but you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t because you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re afraid they might call the child abuse hotline on you. <\/p>\n
(2) With each slice of cheese you can build your own kids, sort of like paper dolls, to see if you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re fit to become a parent. You can make them as big or as small as you want. Unfortunately, they aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t real, so you can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t make them do chores like real kids, but then again, you also don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have to give them an allowance. <\/p>\n
If your cheese kids do chores and you do give them an allowance, you most likely aren\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t fit to be a parent because you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re probably hallucinating from the crack you\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re smoking.<\/p>\n
(3) The Borden Kid Builder cheese could be eaten by adults to enhance human sperm and eggs, so that when your kid is born, they\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ll be a lot healthier. I read somewhere that male pornstars drink milk to add some substance to their loads when they blow it. <\/p>\n
What does that have to do with enhancing sperm and eggs? Nothing, just a trivial nugget I have stuck in my head that I thought I would never find a use for, but I guess I was wrong. <\/p>\n
Unfortunately, I couldn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t test two of these theories because: (1) I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t have kids I can feed them to. (2) I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m not willing to impregnate a woman and have a kid. Heck, I can\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even take care of myself, so how can I take care of a kid. Besides, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know of a woman who would be willing to have my children. <\/p>\n
Well if I could get my hands on some kids, I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if they would be willing to eat these Kid Builder American Cheese slices, because they tasted kind of funny compared with other American cheeses I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve had. It sort of tasted like I forgot to take the plastic wrapper off the cheese before I consumed it.<\/p>\n
It didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t even pass the brand spankin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 new Impulsive Buy ultimate cheese test, the Grilled Cheese Sandwich Test. It melted nicely like other American cheese slices, but the cheese still tasted as plastic as an anatomically correct Barbie Doll.<\/p>\n
Please don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t ask me how I know what an anatomically correct Barbie Doll tastes like. <\/p>\n
You don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t want to know.<\/p>\n
I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know if it was the six vitamins and minerals that added the weird taste of the cheese, but if it did, I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122d suggest trying to build a kid in another way, instead of with these Borden Kid Builder American Cheese Singles.<\/p>\n
Item:<\/b> Borden Kid Builder American Cheese Singles
\nPurchase Price:<\/b> $4.99
\nRating:<\/b> 2 out of 5
\nPros:<\/b> Calcium and six vitamins and minerals. Orange-colored. Individually wrapped slices.
\nCons:<\/b> Tastes weird for an American cheese. Didn\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t pass the brand spankin\u00e2\u20ac\u2122 new Grilled Cheese Sandwich Test. Unsure of how it helps build kids.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
(Editor’s Note: The Squeeze Between the Cheese ended up in a draw, so I’ve decided to review BOTH products. So today I’ll be reviewing the Borden Kid Builder Cheese and later this week I’ll be reviewing the Campbell’s Carb Request soup. Enjoy.) I don\u00e2\u20ac\u2122t know exactly how these Borden Kid Builder American Cheese Singles are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1440],"tags":[2255],"class_list":["post-166","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-reviews","tag-misc-foods"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":156,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2005\/03\/01\/the-squeeze-between-the-cheese\/","url_meta":{"origin":166,"position":0},"title":"The Squeeze Between the Cheese!!!","author":"Marvo","date":"March 1, 2005","format":false,"excerpt":"For those of you who are new to the Impulsive Buy, every so often we have a product battle, where you, the readers, decide what product we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122re going to review. This time we\u00e2\u20ac\u2122ve got two products that we believe will have a close battle. I\u00e2\u20ac\u2122m going to call this fight,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "General"","block_context":{"text":"General","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/general\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":38953,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2019\/08\/31\/spotted-8-31-2019\/","url_meta":{"origin":166,"position":1},"title":"SPOTTED – 8\/31\/2019","author":"Marvo","date":"August 31, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Here are some interesting new products found on store shelves by your fellow readers. If you've tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. (Spotted by Sarah R at Sprouts.) (Spotted by Robbie at H-E-B Fuel.) (Spotted by Amanda Y at Walmart.) 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If you've tried any of the products, share your thoughts about them in the comments. Heinz Bacon & Brown Sugar Kansas City Sytle and Bold & Spicy Texas Style BBQ Baked Beans Heinz\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Spotted on Shelves"","block_context":{"text":"Spotted on Shelves","link":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/category\/spotted-on-shelves\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/20180901_090016.jpg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/20180901_090016.jpg.jpg?resize=350%2C200&ssl=1 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/07\/20180901_090016.jpg.jpg?resize=525%2C300&ssl=1 1.5x"},"classes":[]},{"id":75866,"url":"https:\/\/www.theimpulsivebuy.com\/wordpress\/2026\/02\/27\/spotted-limited-edition-red-baron-bibigo-korean-bbq-style-pizza\/","url_meta":{"origin":166,"position":3},"title":"SPOTTED: Limited Edition Red Baron Bibigo Korean BBQ-Style Pizza","author":"Marvo","date":"February 27, 2026","format":false,"excerpt":"I didn't see this collaboration coming. 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